20.Jun.19, 03:31 AM
Mylorah sat quietly as she let F'drel's words of wisdom sink in. 'Need' and 'want' were definitely different things and from what she had seen of people being Searched and of Holders at gathers, she had a feeling her odd upbringing in a secluded forest helped her identify the difference more clearly and left her never truly wanting anything that she didn't need. They never used marks in Katila either so learning to trade them for items again showed her to focus more on the need and not the want. She had wanted a bracelet two summer gathers ago but she didn't need it so she didn't buy it. She might have once wanted a father but she didn't need one now either.
She wanted to belong, to have more than her brothers to call family, but was it needed? Would it change anything in her life for the better? She had friends, she was happy, she slept well at night... "A'tay told me not too long ago that he worries about me sometimes. Apparently I have loads of friends but I don't really open up to many and he doesn't want me to end up alone," because she apparently couldn't trust people enough to stay in her life. Her brother didn't have to say that, she already knew it. R'nd either didn't know about her or didn't care when she was born. Her mom and baby brother died. That idiot greenrider didn't want to keep her Korlin around. It was hard to open up to someone when there was a chance they would leave as well. Her brothers--and N'mor but he was pretty much a brother as well--were stuck with her no matter what and somehow Misharan and obviously F'drel had managed to gain her trust enough to let them see more than her surface. She was still afraid to settle down, give her heart to someone, though. In a way, she really was her father's daughter. Maybe one day she would find her own B'jin but Mylorah knew she wasn't ready for that day to happen just yet. She had to get over the fear of family accepting and keeping her.
"I want to go, Fen. I need to go. Even if it's just to say I did and find out what happens after today. But... I can't go with the bronze boys. They know everyone and they'll be comfortable there and... and... what if I need to leave early or have someone who understands?" Finally lifting her gaze from the ring, Mylorah shifted so she could properly give F'drel her most pleading look, "Will you come with me? Technically, will you bring me there and stay with me? Please?"
She wanted to belong, to have more than her brothers to call family, but was it needed? Would it change anything in her life for the better? She had friends, she was happy, she slept well at night... "A'tay told me not too long ago that he worries about me sometimes. Apparently I have loads of friends but I don't really open up to many and he doesn't want me to end up alone," because she apparently couldn't trust people enough to stay in her life. Her brother didn't have to say that, she already knew it. R'nd either didn't know about her or didn't care when she was born. Her mom and baby brother died. That idiot greenrider didn't want to keep her Korlin around. It was hard to open up to someone when there was a chance they would leave as well. Her brothers--and N'mor but he was pretty much a brother as well--were stuck with her no matter what and somehow Misharan and obviously F'drel had managed to gain her trust enough to let them see more than her surface. She was still afraid to settle down, give her heart to someone, though. In a way, she really was her father's daughter. Maybe one day she would find her own B'jin but Mylorah knew she wasn't ready for that day to happen just yet. She had to get over the fear of family accepting and keeping her.
"I want to go, Fen. I need to go. Even if it's just to say I did and find out what happens after today. But... I can't go with the bronze boys. They know everyone and they'll be comfortable there and... and... what if I need to leave early or have someone who understands?" Finally lifting her gaze from the ring, Mylorah shifted so she could properly give F'drel her most pleading look, "Will you come with me? Technically, will you bring me there and stay with me? Please?"