17.Jun.19, 02:17 AM
“For what?” F’drel blinked at Mylorah in confusion. What was she a jerk for? Asking a friend for emotional support? Oh no, how dare she? He didn’t really consider bringing up the fact he didn’t know his father a big deal. He was a bastard of unknown lineage, whatever, so were most of his peers growing up. It seemed like half the Weyrfolk were the same, with most of the ‘brats having a lack of fatherly involvement. F’drel didn’t talk about it, but more because he didn’t say a whole lot of anything about himself than it made him emotional or upset when it was brought up. The man who had been his father was almost surely some asshole who had no trouble taking advantage of women in precarious positions and F’drel wasn’t missing out on anything by not knowing him.
Mylorah didn’t linger on whatever she thought she did that was jerkish, though maybe her attempt to change the topic from what was upsetting her was a result of her thinking she’d upset him in some fashion. F’drel wasn’t going to let her back out because she thought she’d upset him, not when she very much hadn’t and clearly needed to talk about the complicated tangle that was her feelings about her family. As she talked, F’drel squeezed her shoulder reassuringly, listening quietly. He understood having a mother die, how it had felt like the world around him was shattering and left him feeling adrift. Even with his siblings around to share the mourning with, he’d also felt himself pulling away, trying to fill some of the empty space their mother had left behind. It had left him isolated and vulnerable and that had gone so well for him. With an imperceptible shake of the head F’drel shoved that train of thought back as far as he could and focused every bit of his attention back on Mylorah, who had paused and seemed to be doing the same as he was before continuing.
“I think,” F’drel said slowly after Mylorah had finished speaking and seemed like she was done for the moment, “that ‘needing’ and ‘wanting’ are different things. And you can not need a father and still want one.”
Mylorah didn’t linger on whatever she thought she did that was jerkish, though maybe her attempt to change the topic from what was upsetting her was a result of her thinking she’d upset him in some fashion. F’drel wasn’t going to let her back out because she thought she’d upset him, not when she very much hadn’t and clearly needed to talk about the complicated tangle that was her feelings about her family. As she talked, F’drel squeezed her shoulder reassuringly, listening quietly. He understood having a mother die, how it had felt like the world around him was shattering and left him feeling adrift. Even with his siblings around to share the mourning with, he’d also felt himself pulling away, trying to fill some of the empty space their mother had left behind. It had left him isolated and vulnerable and that had gone so well for him. With an imperceptible shake of the head F’drel shoved that train of thought back as far as he could and focused every bit of his attention back on Mylorah, who had paused and seemed to be doing the same as he was before continuing.
“I think,” F’drel said slowly after Mylorah had finished speaking and seemed like she was done for the moment, “that ‘needing’ and ‘wanting’ are different things. And you can not need a father and still want one.”