Hello loves! While I haven't been writing, I have been working on updating some issues that have been hanging around on the layout! The Character change box is now at the bottom of the page, beside the up/down arrows! Green and Gold dragon flight dates have been shifted to the bottom of the page, where the (useless!) discord widget was located. Where the dragon flights were in the header, is now replaced by a Monthly Event box! This will be updated at the start of each month, with a fun mini-event you can take part in, if you want to! Thistle!
03.Sep.12, 10:12 PM
Seeing Talian's surprise at his apology was reward enough. A long moment past before anything happened. The smile Sanderon now saw on the healers face was not fake. It looked sincere and it caused his own lips to twitch up as well.
He couldn't hold his smile for long without it feeling forced so he relaxed and listened as Talian spoke in a soft voice. His professional demeanor seemed to have disappeared. Sanderon did not know what to make of it. It seemed like a nice thing though. It seemed 'real'.
When it was clarified that Talian did not call Sanderon himself stupid, a very old expression that had not been there for over a turn surfaced. His old signature expression, the half-smirk, came to his lips as his face and eyes lit up with the kind humor he suddenly felt. Sadly like his brief smile before, this did not last very long before it too faded. For one moment though Talian might have seen a glimpse of the old Sanderon peeking through.
"I'm not too thrilled with their methods either. Believe me." He mumbled. "If they took me for my skills, they better start using them or I'll..."
His face cracked into a sudden smile. "...I'll go crazy." He finished what he was going to say. "Guess that already happened." He shook his head and sobered up when Talian continued to speak.
He was silently relieved that Talian would not tell the weyrleader of his plans. But Talian's refusal to consider that maybe Sanderon would be a lot safer than he gave him credit for was tiring. He understood where Talian was coming from though. The jungles were extremely dangerous and made the Deep Wood back home a child's playground. But he had the training to survive. He knew he could do it. It would not be easy and like Talian said, it would not be 'safe'. But Sanderon would much rather deal with the jungle than his tormentors who were even now probably plotting mischief against him back at the weyr.
He did not say such things to Talian though. What he did now was listen...and think very deeply about what the Healer had been saying.
A long silence lay between them now, as he rubbed the scratched knuckles of one hand absent-mindedly. His mind remembered everything he had been through since his capture up until this very moment. He analyzed his actions, experiences, and options in each case. He thought about his options now. Many emotions floated across his face while he thought and they finally stayed upon a quiet determination. With this expression firmly in place, Sanderon looked up to Talian and spoke with resolution in his voice.
"I would make a promise to you. Before I tell you what it is, let me say that I never make promises I don't intend to keep." He paused to let that sink in before continuing. "If it is agreed upon, I promise not to seek a life outside of the weyr if I can be allowed to hunt. My family," He paused, suddenly feeling like a traitor for revealing his life to Talian. "...my family always does something special to acknowledge accomplished hunters. If my hunt was successful that day, there was a good chance they might have done something for me. Not being able to hunt at all now...makes all of my life seem like a waste." He closed his eyes tight for a moment as his heart clenched with the misery his words caused him. He needed this more than anyone might ever realize. Giving up his freedom in a solemn promise just to be allowed to hunt should give Talian some indication of its importance to him.
He had not spoken about his level of talent to anyone here. But it was a very important step in his life to be acknowledged in some sort of way for being good, even if it was just a simple pat on the back. He did not feel he could move on here without being allowed to hunt.
When his heart stopped hurting so much from revealing a very important part of himself to Talian, he glanced to the beautiful flowers on the table again and commented carefully as if sharing an afterthought, "I would hunt as often as they wished. I'd even help train others too if they wanted. It is not just my craft. It is who I am. Denying me my craft.... Well, it doesn't feel too good. "
He shrugged off his own words so that Talian might not see him as a whining brat. Truth was, being denied his hunting was the same as being denied a large part of himself. He needed to hunt, just like a fish needed to swim. And not being able to do so hurt a whole lot more than he would let himself show.
It was a lot to throw upon the Healer all at once. Sanderon knew that. He only hoped that what he had just asked of the man would not be taken lightly.
He couldn't hold his smile for long without it feeling forced so he relaxed and listened as Talian spoke in a soft voice. His professional demeanor seemed to have disappeared. Sanderon did not know what to make of it. It seemed like a nice thing though. It seemed 'real'.
When it was clarified that Talian did not call Sanderon himself stupid, a very old expression that had not been there for over a turn surfaced. His old signature expression, the half-smirk, came to his lips as his face and eyes lit up with the kind humor he suddenly felt. Sadly like his brief smile before, this did not last very long before it too faded. For one moment though Talian might have seen a glimpse of the old Sanderon peeking through.
"I'm not too thrilled with their methods either. Believe me." He mumbled. "If they took me for my skills, they better start using them or I'll..."
His face cracked into a sudden smile. "...I'll go crazy." He finished what he was going to say. "Guess that already happened." He shook his head and sobered up when Talian continued to speak.
He was silently relieved that Talian would not tell the weyrleader of his plans. But Talian's refusal to consider that maybe Sanderon would be a lot safer than he gave him credit for was tiring. He understood where Talian was coming from though. The jungles were extremely dangerous and made the Deep Wood back home a child's playground. But he had the training to survive. He knew he could do it. It would not be easy and like Talian said, it would not be 'safe'. But Sanderon would much rather deal with the jungle than his tormentors who were even now probably plotting mischief against him back at the weyr.
He did not say such things to Talian though. What he did now was listen...and think very deeply about what the Healer had been saying.
A long silence lay between them now, as he rubbed the scratched knuckles of one hand absent-mindedly. His mind remembered everything he had been through since his capture up until this very moment. He analyzed his actions, experiences, and options in each case. He thought about his options now. Many emotions floated across his face while he thought and they finally stayed upon a quiet determination. With this expression firmly in place, Sanderon looked up to Talian and spoke with resolution in his voice.
"I would make a promise to you. Before I tell you what it is, let me say that I never make promises I don't intend to keep." He paused to let that sink in before continuing. "If it is agreed upon, I promise not to seek a life outside of the weyr if I can be allowed to hunt. My family," He paused, suddenly feeling like a traitor for revealing his life to Talian. "...my family always does something special to acknowledge accomplished hunters. If my hunt was successful that day, there was a good chance they might have done something for me. Not being able to hunt at all now...makes all of my life seem like a waste." He closed his eyes tight for a moment as his heart clenched with the misery his words caused him. He needed this more than anyone might ever realize. Giving up his freedom in a solemn promise just to be allowed to hunt should give Talian some indication of its importance to him.
He had not spoken about his level of talent to anyone here. But it was a very important step in his life to be acknowledged in some sort of way for being good, even if it was just a simple pat on the back. He did not feel he could move on here without being allowed to hunt.
When his heart stopped hurting so much from revealing a very important part of himself to Talian, he glanced to the beautiful flowers on the table again and commented carefully as if sharing an afterthought, "I would hunt as often as they wished. I'd even help train others too if they wanted. It is not just my craft. It is who I am. Denying me my craft.... Well, it doesn't feel too good. "
He shrugged off his own words so that Talian might not see him as a whining brat. Truth was, being denied his hunting was the same as being denied a large part of himself. He needed to hunt, just like a fish needed to swim. And not being able to do so hurt a whole lot more than he would let himself show.
It was a lot to throw upon the Healer all at once. Sanderon knew that. He only hoped that what he had just asked of the man would not be taken lightly.
