29.Aug.12, 12:40 AM
His thoughts are clouded and muddled Ilveriath said with displeasure. He snorted and shifted his position outside, pressing his nose lightly against the wall as if moving just a little bit closer would help him hear and see more clearly. Ilveriath was a sensitive dragon, and while I'shan claimed the beast had a good eye for crazy, Ilveriath was more interested in lost souls. He'd found one on the hatching sands 19 turns ago. It looked like he'd found another one now.
I'shan breathed sparingly as he held the helped the young man drink. The bluerider was a whirlwind of mixed emotions; he liked being liked. He always had. Searching wasn't exactly a way to win friends, but he liked being good at things, and feeling like the Weyrleader valued him, too. After these recent outbursts, I'shan was completely humiliated. One of his candidates had caused a huge full. His! And he was the Weyrsecond's mate! He should have done a better job.
Well, he'd certainly done a good job messing up this kid's life. All I'shan could see as he looked over the young man was Erisi; Erisi, who was so mierable and hated him so much. The only one of his searchees who liked him at all was Farlint, and Far got his leg shattered so badly at the last hatching that it was anyone's guess if he'd ever been right again. Once again, I'shan thought...all my fault
"I'm sorry about what happened," I'shan said at length. He set the cup down and seated himself in the floor, folding his hands in front of him and looking down. He felt like just as much of a prisoner on that island as Sanderon did.
There was something different in his tone now. His apology was far more sincere than the ones he's sputtered out turns ago when they last shared this space. I'shan sighed. "...It wasn't supposed to be this way." Shards, he had to get Erisi out of his head. This was not Erisi, this was someone else. Someone totally different.
I'shan thought back on the lashing and the cruel demeanor of his own lover, N'gelt, and he felt the tears returning. His throat tightened and he turned his head away stubbornly. I hate it he growled to himself. Why do I always sharding cry?!
I'shan breathed sparingly as he held the helped the young man drink. The bluerider was a whirlwind of mixed emotions; he liked being liked. He always had. Searching wasn't exactly a way to win friends, but he liked being good at things, and feeling like the Weyrleader valued him, too. After these recent outbursts, I'shan was completely humiliated. One of his candidates had caused a huge full. His! And he was the Weyrsecond's mate! He should have done a better job.
Well, he'd certainly done a good job messing up this kid's life. All I'shan could see as he looked over the young man was Erisi; Erisi, who was so mierable and hated him so much. The only one of his searchees who liked him at all was Farlint, and Far got his leg shattered so badly at the last hatching that it was anyone's guess if he'd ever been right again. Once again, I'shan thought...all my fault
"I'm sorry about what happened," I'shan said at length. He set the cup down and seated himself in the floor, folding his hands in front of him and looking down. He felt like just as much of a prisoner on that island as Sanderon did.
There was something different in his tone now. His apology was far more sincere than the ones he's sputtered out turns ago when they last shared this space. I'shan sighed. "...It wasn't supposed to be this way." Shards, he had to get Erisi out of his head. This was not Erisi, this was someone else. Someone totally different.
I'shan thought back on the lashing and the cruel demeanor of his own lover, N'gelt, and he felt the tears returning. His throat tightened and he turned his head away stubbornly. I hate it he growled to himself. Why do I always sharding cry?!