27.Aug.12, 11:31 PM
Tal wanted to point out that the difference between them had nothing to do with crafting. Here, all that actually mattered was being a dragonrider. Not only was she a dragonrider, but she was a goldrider. Tal didn't know if she commanded any political power or not, but she was certainly being made a big deal of. She was infinity more valuable to them than any unimpressed northerner ever would be, himself included. There were plenty of other healers in the world, no matter how high his marks had been back at home.
He'd have gladly pointed this out, were he not panicking.
Everyone knew? Everyone?
"That can't be!" he growled from under the covers. "I rtold no one but B'jin! And...and..I guess Valerian!" he yelped. He felt her hand against him. He didn't feel the anticipated need to shove it away, but instead he tried to make himself small beneath it.
It didn't make any sense to him. He thought about the incident all the time. He accepted his awkward run-in with Valerian without doing much more than batting an eyelash. Why was this bothering him so much? Why was he suddenly filled with such chilling fear?
Was it because he was afraid of people knowing? Afraid to face down their accusing stares? He was a northerner. They would blame him for it. They would tell him it was his fault for meddling with dragonriders. He would be taunted. Judged. They would know. But worst of all, J'ver would know. He would know, and it would happen again.
"No," Tal breathed delicately. "I...kept it a secret, just like I was supposed to. Please don't talk about it to anyone. I don't want it to happen again," he implored in a low whisper. He was silent for a few long moments as he composed himself. His hand continued to shake, but eventually he crawled out from under the covers. He felt foolish and could even feel himself heating up at the little outburst, but it was all he could do to keep himself from crying bitterly. But what good would crying do? He was fucked, and it was over. Crying about it wouldn't change anything, and not even J'ver had managed to steal his sense of self from him. The dragonriders were running out of things to steal.
"I don't want to talk about it," he said, wiping his eyes dejectedly.
He'd have gladly pointed this out, were he not panicking.
Everyone knew? Everyone?
"That can't be!" he growled from under the covers. "I rtold no one but B'jin! And...and..I guess Valerian!" he yelped. He felt her hand against him. He didn't feel the anticipated need to shove it away, but instead he tried to make himself small beneath it.
It didn't make any sense to him. He thought about the incident all the time. He accepted his awkward run-in with Valerian without doing much more than batting an eyelash. Why was this bothering him so much? Why was he suddenly filled with such chilling fear?
Was it because he was afraid of people knowing? Afraid to face down their accusing stares? He was a northerner. They would blame him for it. They would tell him it was his fault for meddling with dragonriders. He would be taunted. Judged. They would know. But worst of all, J'ver would know. He would know, and it would happen again.
"No," Tal breathed delicately. "I...kept it a secret, just like I was supposed to. Please don't talk about it to anyone. I don't want it to happen again," he implored in a low whisper. He was silent for a few long moments as he composed himself. His hand continued to shake, but eventually he crawled out from under the covers. He felt foolish and could even feel himself heating up at the little outburst, but it was all he could do to keep himself from crying bitterly. But what good would crying do? He was fucked, and it was over. Crying about it wouldn't change anything, and not even J'ver had managed to steal his sense of self from him. The dragonriders were running out of things to steal.
"I don't want to talk about it," he said, wiping his eyes dejectedly.