Special Delivery [Jada]

It had already been a long morning for S'kef. He'd woken early and given Tyrrisath a much-needed bath and oiling. Washing the big dragon was a pain, but it was well worth it to keep his partner healthy and happy. Their bond had always been strong, in spite of decades of comments that they were odd or unsettling in their mutual silence. Those people just didn't understand, though. S'kef and Tyrrisath didn't talk much because they didn't need to.

S'kef still felt a lingering bit of guilt over how he'd treated Tyrrisath after Rilaleeyth's flight. Two months had passed, but the brief conflict between them served as a vivid reminder of just how important Tyrrisath was to the man. The flight led to an entire month of unmitigated self-destruction. S'kef had fallen back into his vices and made a real show of being confused and without purpose: drunk every night, always alone, and always belligerent.  He'd avoided the weyrleaders, including Miss Jada.

After all, she was one of the only people who liked him. He didn't need to blow that, too. Though by now, she'd probably heard enough.

Tyrrisath landed heavily outside Jada's hut. His brown hide was glossy with a fresh oiling. He silently greeted Krypth as he dropped his neck, allowing his rider to dismount. S'kef was dressed in his freshest set of riding leathers and bore a bundle of papers under his arm. His hair was newly trimmed and he looked crisp and sober.

His month of excess had been followed by another month of a different kind of isolation. Only one person had held his attention during that time. His precious little savior deserved every moment of it. Since his reappearance on the public scene, however, S'kef had resolved to keep his head on straight.

After all, he and Jai still needed to rule the Weyr one day. That couldn't happen if he kept himself in a stupor, could it? Freshly motivated, he'd been able to reclaim his professionalism and focus. He'd spent a day or two smoothing over ruffled feathers. Today, he did something he didn't think he'd ever get to do again: run an errand for the Weyrleader. N'gelt had been otherwise disposed.

S'kef knocked on Jada's door. Under his arm was a bundle of documents, including the anticipated list of names.

"Good morning, Miss Jada."

Jada had been having quite a lovely morning. She had woken up in a bed that was not sand and dragonhide, indulged in a little cleanliness, and made plans to go and spend some time with Tsuen or E'lore. They each had much to teach her, if she could manage to pin either of them down for very long. Krypth had been inquiring about a bath this morning, but she refused to leave the Sands and Jada refused to turn them into a pulpit for the Gold to wallow in. Silly creature took offense to it, and said Jada was shirking her duties. Hah. Possibly. But there would be no shirking when the gold would just be reasonable.

They had agreed to disagree, and then Jada had been able to putter around her room and clean up some of the mess that had been developing in her distraction. Shirts and Pants were sorted and folded, and her dress was shaken out. She would need to talk to someone in regards to new clothing soon, she realized, and was amused by how... Comfortable that sounded. She hummed, considering, and thinking about the rest of her sevenday.

When would she manage to get the courage to go and discuss with the Weyrleader the promise he had made her when Krypth had risen, about the interviews? And what would be the catch to such an involvement? How would they be able to ensure that the women would still be suitable? Many if them had been through so much change and personal evolution that Jada didn't know...

Ah! So many factors, and it made no sense to consider things which may not even come to pass right now.

When the knock came to her door, Jada paused briefly, face wrinkling up. Had the women cancelled on her already? Shards... She scurried to her door, glad she had been able to afford a little time to clean, and pulled it open. The person on the other side was surprised, to be sure. "S'kef!" She smiled, welcoming, but didn't move from her position in front of the door for a long moment. Why was he here? Had she done something wrong? Was it about...

She realized after a moment that she was being rude, and stepped back. "Please." She forced out, trying not to dwell on all the thoughts- and rumors, and hard-heard truths- that swirled around in her head. "Come in."

S'kef stepped inside promptly, once again charmed by Jada's apparent nervousness. He'd always loved to be feared, but coming from a bumbling young goldrider it was cute. No J'ver cute, but cute. S'kef still had every confidence that she'd grow up to be a swan, so he didn't think of it as anything to worry about for the time being.

"These papers are for you," he said, holding them out to her and managing a smile. S'kef's smile wasn't bad, though he rarely used it with any sincerity. At least not to most people. Today, it was sincere, though perhaps not thrilled. It was nice to be running an errand for the Weyrleader, though, and in general his life was improving. All he needed to stop destroying himself was a focus. There were quite a few thing to focus on, too!

The eggs weren't the most important one, but they were up there.

"I believe it's applications and forms for some sort of interview you're supposed to be doing," S'kef said. It irritated him, not knowing the details. There was a time when he knew everything going on, either legitimately or through the aid of his precious greenrider. It was humiliating to be lower than a weyrling, even if she was a gold.

As always, S'kef his his emotions well. He handed the papers over and smiled, though it was a little on the weary side. "Anything I can do for you, Miss Jada?" he inquired.  Was he sucking up? Maybe just a little bit. She was a goldrider, after all. And he was in need of work.

She brushed her hair back from her face, unable to hide her mixed feelings at having the Brownrider back in her room. The last time he'd been here it had gotten wrecked, though the circumstances surrounding his presence had been quite different. She shut the door behind him, leaving it unbolted, and gestured for him to- she darted over to the seat, pulling a pile of clothing off of it and dropping it on her bed instead.

"Papers?" she asked, and was surprised to see the Brownrider holding out a stack of them out to her. She scurried over to him, and returned his smile with one of her own as she reached out to lightly pluck them from his hands. He had a very handsome smile, but with his height and weight and overall demeanor, it struck her as a little odd sometimes. Then again, it could be because the number of times she had seen him smile could be counted on one hand- and all of them since she had Impressed Krypth. No wonder everyone seemed to have an opinion of him as a dour, frightening man. Which he was, but...

Violent.

"You would be right." She told him, and handed him the short top sheet. There were precious few names on there, in all honesty. "I get to interview these women and see if any of them have any interest in Standing for Krypth's clutch. And my agreement with D'ren was that if any of them don't want to Stand, I can go through the list and replace them with a woman who does want the chance." She bit her lip, rummaging through the other items that had been sent over. "It was very kind of him to let me get involved, especially since Weyrling lessons are a bit on hold. This way I can keep busy with something-"

Her head jerked up, uncertainty flashing through her eyes. Was this useful, as she had been about to say? Or was D'ren simply trying to make her feel such? Was she wasting her time because no one else had some of the resource available for her?

"Well, you can talk to me a bit." She bit her lip and grinned, wryly. "I don't know if you know anything about some of the names on this list. A couple of them I don't know very well." Would S'kef want to be involved in the selection? D'ren had said maybe Jada would be less intimidating than if he or Tsuen interviewed the woman, would S'kef be any better? But Tyrrisath had fathered the clutch... or did it only work that way with Weyrleaders, being involved with clutches?

Cruel.

She glanced at him sidelong, eyes flickering. People had been alarmed when Tyrrisath had caught Krypth on her maiden flight. Not just for the well-being of the goldpair, but for the health of the Weyr at large. She had been surprised, however, by the number of riders she had heard whispers from. And what those whispers had contained.

The smile faded soon enough. He almost felt uncomfortable, smiling at anyone other than his precious greenrider. Even that wasn't necessarily a common sight. He remained hospitable and his demeanor nonthreatening, but as he crossed his arms and strode across the room towards Jada, there was a certain air of confidence and entitlement. He was the flight winner. A brownrider didn't have the same claim over a goldrider as he did a green, but it was still his conquered territory, in a way. He didn't have conscious thoughts to that affect, but rather it was instinct, habit. He was used to being on top.

So Jada was interviewing women? S'kef nodded and did an excellent job of feigning interest, but he really felt the whole thing was silly. He personally did suspect that D'ren was just appeasing Jada, but the suspicion was born more from his own cynicism than any actual evidence or likelihood. D'ren, as far as S'kef knew, considered Jada promising but in need of guidance. S'kef liked her just fine and hoped she'd remember him when she matured, but the idea of her having actual responsibilities this early was rediciulous. She was a weyrling, and not the Weyrwoman. Training wheels, he supposed? Whatever.

"I'm afraid I don't know much about ant of the candidates," he said, shifting his weight to one leg. He'd met a couple here and there, but his attitude towards the stolen was not necessarily one he cared to share with Jada. As far as he was concerned, they were property of the Weyr until they Impressed or got too old to be useful. They were potential dragonriders, little else. Half of them would be greens anyhow. Why would he bother getting to know them until they turned out to actually be something worth knowing?

He shrugged politely. "I could try, though." He was more than willing to suck up a bit if it might earn him some points with the leadership again. It was a shameful tactic, and one that he'd never employed before.  He'd always earned his power through merit and action, not through gradual weaseling. Desperate times, though. He'd fallen far, and he knew much of it was his own fault.

"Of course..." he added with a bit of reservation, "I'm not particularly popular with the northerners." Many of them had been there for B'jin's lashing. They imprinted their fear and anger at dragonriders upon the one responsible for the first true violence and cruelty they had witness. Him, naturally. He loved the way they scattered before him, but that wasn't exactly useful for candidate interviews.

Besides, he'd be talking them into standing down anyhow.

He paused thoughtfully and closed his eyes. "I'd like to help you, Miss Jada, but you'll have to pardon me. This is a new thing for me, as well." It was true. He'd never been a clutchfather before. He remembered standing on the sands, though. It felt powerful.

Her head ducked down as he stepped closer to her, instinctively responding to the aura that he gave off in the way Jada (typically) did best- submitting. She peeked up at him through her lashes, watching him move around her room, perfectly comfortable with the fact that- Oh dear. If the Harper hadn't been so very determined not to show any weakness to the man in front of her; But what defined a weakness to a man like S'kef, rider of Tyrrisath?

The Brownrider nodded and Jada felt her cheeks flush with color. Shards, what if he knew the truth? Could she get it out of him, she wondered, that D'ren was just trying to accommodate her naive desire to be a part of the choosing, a future Weyrling class? That she wanted to make sure others of her sex had the same chance that she had? Of course, there wasn't going to be a Gold on the Sands, due to the father being a Brown, but still... drago-

Victim.

Jada swallowed, and plastered the smile back on her face. "No, it is fine. I know you are very busy." She nodded, sincerity oozing out of her voice. After all, S'kef had been someone very important, and whatever he had done wrong, he would surely have the chance to make it right. yes, they said terrible things about him, but not all of them could be true. He'd been nothing but kind and generous to her since she had been first introduced to him.

Assault.

No, he wasn't very popular with the Northerners at all. Jada wasn't a fool, she knew he was reviled for a reason. It was just... she wanted to give him a chance. He had treated her roughly during the Flight, yes, but who didn't get beaten up a bit during a Flight? And she had really made it off lightly, considering what she had done to him in return. Usually it- She could feel her lips thin. Usually, it went a lot worse for Flight participants. Jada, however, had gotten a little bruised. A little bleeding... some intense embarrassment. She could see, however, a face that had not been so lucky as her own.

"So, S'kef, what do you think would help? I mean... I wasn't exactly spending much time learning how things were done last time, and you are- were- Weyrsecond." She stumbled over the correct tense, unsure how to mention the fact that he was no longer in that exalted position.

Busy. Not lately, he hadn't been. He still smiled casually and shrugged. "It's nice to have work again," he said in a somewhat restrained voice, polite and devoid of his anger. He still thought N'gelt in his old position was a complete joke. N'gelt was even more temperamental than S'kef was, and every bit as prejudiced and about half as logical. S'kef was hard-edged, but he wasn't insane. S'kef was pretty sure N'gelt's true colors would show soon enough; N'gelt carried S'kef's worst traits and none of his good ones. They would see eventually.

Well, S'kef imagined they would, but he wasn't willing to risk his future counting on it.

Her next comment ruffled his feathers a bit. Oh yes, he was Weyrsecond. How kind of her to remind him. He set his jaw and managed to squeeze his anger into the back of his mind. He was in polite company and he'd resolved to undo the harm done by his past two months of bad behavior. S'kef knew better than anyone (except perhaps J'ver) that he was capable of outstanding feats of self-destruction when he lacked a reason to abstain from them. Repairing his reputation was an excellent reason.

He just sighed. "I'm afraid D'ren kept me away from the clutching business," he commented. He couldn't help but feel like the awkward dialogue between them was going nowhere. Had he done something to offend her? Nothing should have, considering she was one of the few people in the Weyr that be bothered talking civilly with these days. He didn't exactly view the rest of the Weyr as rabble (except greenriders), but not many of them seemed worth his time on a personal level, either.

"Jada," he said at last, dropping into a wearily conversational tone. "Is there something you are trying to ask me?" He wasn't rude, merely straightforward. The casual tone was enough of an indication of his comfort, though there was perhaps just a bit of exasperation mixed in as well. It wasn't necessarily aimed at Jada, but more the situation. He hated dancing around issues. Just come out and sat it. His eyes implored her.

She hadn't quite imagined this being so awkward... Nor had she even dreamt she would be so loath to try and accept all of the hard truths her future- no, current- position would bring with it. Jada might not have the title, but she was still going to be held responsible for... knowing. She couldn't hide her head in the sand, she told herself... She couldn't...

"It's unfortunate he did." She choked out through a terribly dry throat. "I suppose I will have to learn by touch and go, then." She had been supposed to learn from Tsuen... Someone was supposed to be there for her, to walk her through it... step by agonizing step. Instead, the Goldrider was fumbling her way through it step by agonizing step, and doing a pretty miserable job of it, from everything she'd heard tell and experienced.

The breakdown of the (former?) Candidate Sanderon just a few days before weighed heavy on her mind, as did her conversation that evening with Talian that evening. So many things she hadn't known, hadn't realized... Because she hadn't let herself face the harder truths.She had satisfied herself with the surface, the greater needs, and not looked into the details- the human error that good will and necessity could bring.

"There is something, but I don't know how to ask it." Her hands trembled, and she pressed them together to hide the telling action. "I know Flights are rough, S'kef. Gold and Green riders alike. Very... Feral." Visceral. She had loved it as much as she had hated it, her mind and body at war with Krypth's demanding nature, and S'kef's dominance. "It is strange to me, however, that I hear so many little whispers about... riders being beaten up outside of their own Dragon Flights." She took away the color, for once or twice, the whispers had said... it wasn't just Greenriders.

"I'm perplexed, and confused." It was genuine. She wasn't accusing anyone... because even S'kef couldn't be that... needy. "Can you explain it? This isn't the kind of question I could ask a man like D'ren." He was so... fatherly. Gentle. Neither of which S'kef was, even on a good day.

Well, there it came. S'kef frowned a bit as she asked her question, but judging by her nervousness and previous avoidance, he thought he knew exactly what she was asking about. S'kef remembered the incident clearly; after the uncomfortably difficult loss in Rilaleeyth's flight, he'd sought entertainment elsewhere. He was still dragon-high when he stumbled upon V'zire.

S'kef wasn't exactly proud of the event, and it showed in his face. It wasn't because he regretted harming a greenrider, though. It had more to do with his own general loss of control during the situation. He'd been so angry, he'd felt so rejected. He went looking for a fight, or a lay, or whatever he could get. It had been a bad evening, and he didn't plan on ever losing his composure like that again. He surely hoped he wouldn't, or his reputation would be even harder to repair.

More than anything else, his serious but not dramatic expression showed just how he felt about the whole ordeal. It was just business as usual. No one would think anything of it, aside from perhaps scolding him for wandering off instead of hanging around with the other flight losers. It was a hard lesson about dragonrider life, that was for sure.

"Flights are ugly business sometimes," he replied at length. "It's different, being on the male side. It's worse than being drunk. It's...a total lack of control. I gave myself to Tyrrisath, and sometimes unpleasant things happen." It was an acknowledgement, not an apology. He crossed his arms and grunted uncomfortably. "I'm not the only one that happens to." Jada's playground friend Valerian was guilty, too. S'kef didn't know enough about it or care enough to mention it, though. He wasn't trying to rub the dirt in Jada's face or even defend himself, he was just telling it how it was.