07.Dec.17, 08:30 AM
Oh, she was doomed.
She was absolutely, utterly, and without a doubt, smitten with R’nya. She had denied it, avoided it even, but she realized she truly had feelings for R’nya long before they even had Alyren. He was the sweetest man she had ever known and had always looked after her, and actually listened to her. He never had to go flower picking with her or put up with the silly flower crowns she made and had him wear but he did and he never said a snide word about it or called her stupid or a silly girl. Even now he still called her a lady, his lady at that! It was so romantic and just like something out of her stories she loved so much. Even the way he spoke reminded her of the princes saving and falling in love with the princess. As if Aradissicath would ever banish him! She liked the bronze pair just as much as she did and Rhaedalyn was beyond pleased with that.
But, memories of Z’ia continued to persist and try to ruin her happiness. She had been smitten with the bluerider as well, even saying she loved him and while it was never said, she felt like they were mated. Then he threw it all away and stomped on her heart on the way out the door. What if R’nya did that to her as well? What if she wasn’t able to be loved and she was simply setting herself up to be used and tossed aside again? She truly hated thinking such things of R’nya but once burned, it was scary to get too close to the flame again.
A tear escaped and Rhaedalyn quickly dashed it away but with how close they were, she knew R’nya saw it. The man never seemed to miss anything. She still wondered how he did that. “Oh, Ren…” her voice was barely above a whisper and it quivered with the fear she was trying her hardest to banish. She placed a hand lightly on a cheek and a small smile made itself known, “I would never let her banish you.” She wanted to voice her fears but they wouldn’t come out. What if he wanted to leave? What if she wasn’t good enough? What if she wasn’t enough?
That all might be true and one day she might wake to find he was gone and never coming back to their bed, and Rhaedalyn knew it would destroy her. What she had felt for Z’ia didn’t hold a candle towards what was there for R’nya and the bluerider had left her moping for months and wanting to stay in bed forever. But she also knew that worrying too much would ruin the good that would be there until the horrible ending. She had to forget about what might be and enjoy what was. They had a family together, which was something she had always dreamed about having one day with a man she loved. She was also someone reasonably important. She never really wanted a position of power but she wasn’t the young lady that no one wanted anymore. The young lady that was sent away to improve her tailoring skills in hopes of bettering herself enough that someone would take her as an acceptable enough wife.
As more tears started to fall, this time in joy, both hands now cupped R’nya’s face and she smiled. “You are so much more than I could ever have hoped for, R’nya, rider of bronze Xyreith, mate of Rhaedalyn, rider of gold Aradissicath.” She didn’t know why she went so formal but she liked it. She did, however, purposely leave out their official ranks as in the end, they didn’t matter to her and she didn’t want them to be a focal point or the reason why she loved R’nya.
“Or, more simply,” she voice lowered again to a soft whisper as she pressed her lips lightly against his in a quick kiss, “my Ren.”
She was absolutely, utterly, and without a doubt, smitten with R’nya. She had denied it, avoided it even, but she realized she truly had feelings for R’nya long before they even had Alyren. He was the sweetest man she had ever known and had always looked after her, and actually listened to her. He never had to go flower picking with her or put up with the silly flower crowns she made and had him wear but he did and he never said a snide word about it or called her stupid or a silly girl. Even now he still called her a lady, his lady at that! It was so romantic and just like something out of her stories she loved so much. Even the way he spoke reminded her of the princes saving and falling in love with the princess. As if Aradissicath would ever banish him! She liked the bronze pair just as much as she did and Rhaedalyn was beyond pleased with that.
But, memories of Z’ia continued to persist and try to ruin her happiness. She had been smitten with the bluerider as well, even saying she loved him and while it was never said, she felt like they were mated. Then he threw it all away and stomped on her heart on the way out the door. What if R’nya did that to her as well? What if she wasn’t able to be loved and she was simply setting herself up to be used and tossed aside again? She truly hated thinking such things of R’nya but once burned, it was scary to get too close to the flame again.
A tear escaped and Rhaedalyn quickly dashed it away but with how close they were, she knew R’nya saw it. The man never seemed to miss anything. She still wondered how he did that. “Oh, Ren…” her voice was barely above a whisper and it quivered with the fear she was trying her hardest to banish. She placed a hand lightly on a cheek and a small smile made itself known, “I would never let her banish you.” She wanted to voice her fears but they wouldn’t come out. What if he wanted to leave? What if she wasn’t good enough? What if she wasn’t enough?
That all might be true and one day she might wake to find he was gone and never coming back to their bed, and Rhaedalyn knew it would destroy her. What she had felt for Z’ia didn’t hold a candle towards what was there for R’nya and the bluerider had left her moping for months and wanting to stay in bed forever. But she also knew that worrying too much would ruin the good that would be there until the horrible ending. She had to forget about what might be and enjoy what was. They had a family together, which was something she had always dreamed about having one day with a man she loved. She was also someone reasonably important. She never really wanted a position of power but she wasn’t the young lady that no one wanted anymore. The young lady that was sent away to improve her tailoring skills in hopes of bettering herself enough that someone would take her as an acceptable enough wife.
As more tears started to fall, this time in joy, both hands now cupped R’nya’s face and she smiled. “You are so much more than I could ever have hoped for, R’nya, rider of bronze Xyreith, mate of Rhaedalyn, rider of gold Aradissicath.” She didn’t know why she went so formal but she liked it. She did, however, purposely leave out their official ranks as in the end, they didn’t matter to her and she didn’t want them to be a focal point or the reason why she loved R’nya.
“Or, more simply,” she voice lowered again to a soft whisper as she pressed her lips lightly against his in a quick kiss, “my Ren.”