Hello loves! While I haven't been writing, I have been working on updating some issues that have been hanging around on the layout! The Character change box is now at the bottom of the page, beside the up/down arrows! Green and Gold dragon flight dates have been shifted to the bottom of the page, where the (useless!) discord widget was located. Where the dragon flights were in the header, is now replaced by a Monthly Event box! This will be updated at the start of each month, with a fun mini-event you can take part in, if you want to! Thistle!
27.Mar.12, 10:39 PM
Talian's solemn agreement sparked another smile out of her. You never really knew what he was going to respond with, or even how he was going to say it. Perhaps that was what she liked about him, even though she did feel a low level of something kin to anxiety when they spoke. Typically she spent conversations predicting what was going to be next out of someone's mouth so that she could respond in a clever or merely acceptable way, but she couldn't play that game with him. It would be way too bad for her self-esteem to be wrong all the time. The part of her that needed to be in control of things probably didn't like him much at all, but he amused and intrigued the rest of her. That was good enough.
Unfortunately, he seemed just as confused by what she'd thought was a reasonable explanation as she'd been by his simple statement. Shards. No easy way out here, then, and that meant floundering. Breccan hated to flounder. She was a little surprised to see his face reddening, and had to wonder for a shocked moment if he actually had been hitting on her. How did she feel about that? She hadn't even begun to muddle her way through her own emotions to find out when he assured her he hadn't been, which was mostly a relief, and she wasn't interested in the rest. Probably some petty female indignation that not every man she met wanted to throw himself on the ground and declare true love. Pah!
Still, she couldn't keep a smile from at least faintly curving her mouth as he backpedaled frantically, re-explained, and finally reassured her she was lovely. That cracked her, upgrading her from smile to grin. They had this in common, anyway. Sometimes her mouth just got ahead of her brain, and then she had to spend minutes awkwardly ensuring her real point made it across.
Oh. Things weren't going so well, here. She'd been hoping to steer the conversation towards "ahaha what a cute blunder!" for long enough to make her escape without it looking like she was fleeing his 'advances.' Now here we were, back in confession land, and Talian was starting to look more like the insane version of a genius. She listened seriously, the smile on her face forgotten. A confession of a personal nature made her feel like she had to provide one as well, partially because that was only fair, and partially because she felt it was the only way to make herself clear and explain any nervousness. She returned his smile in a distracted sort of way, trying to consider how best to explain herself, now that it was going to be her turn.
"Sorry," she provided, thinking it a logical way to start, "I'm just more comfortable listening than talking about myself. I mean, I've got no secret big-bad history, but I guess I don't really know what to say." That little confession came out hesitantly, but she was surprised to find she didn't feel so bad once she paused. Hmm. Awkward, yes, but she thought that at this point that was more of her own making than his. A faint smile flashed upwards for a moment, self-deprecating amusement in her eyes. "I guess it would be easier if I did have a secret big-bad history," she observed, a statement that was neither here nor there.
"I don't think that you think you're better than me," she explained slowly, disliking the wording but unable to think of a better way to put it, "But it's easier for me to measure people by rank, so I guess I think you're better than me. It's nothing you've done, so please don't be self-conscious." She paused a moment. "I enjoy your company," she offered honestly. She left unsaid the rather obvious conclusion that she measured herself by rank rather than any other trait, though she couldn't quite hope that he wouldn't come to it just because she hadn't said it out loud.
"I guess as I get to know you I'm trying to measure you differently, but I don't really know how. Maybe you don't have to...compare people, or...assign them worth or whatever I'm doing," she waved a hand negligently, indicating she wasn't going to take the time to examine that particular issue just now, "But I don't know how not to?" This last lifted upward at the end like a question, and the look she gave him was odd, analytical and faintly desperate. What she did and why she did it were things she didn't necessarily look at too hard, at least not when she could avoid it. She had no idea if anyone else judged people as often as she did, or if it was right that she did it at all. She did know she didn't know how not to, and she was too realistic to think Talian had the answer to that. He'd just said rank didn't matter much to him, so this was likely not an issue he'd ever encountered and worked through. In fact, she was quite sure no one could help her find some new way to evaluate herself. Instinctively, she thought that was up to her and her alone, but she didn't know where to start, or even if she should.
When it came to Breccan, Breccan rarely had a clue.
Unfortunately, he seemed just as confused by what she'd thought was a reasonable explanation as she'd been by his simple statement. Shards. No easy way out here, then, and that meant floundering. Breccan hated to flounder. She was a little surprised to see his face reddening, and had to wonder for a shocked moment if he actually had been hitting on her. How did she feel about that? She hadn't even begun to muddle her way through her own emotions to find out when he assured her he hadn't been, which was mostly a relief, and she wasn't interested in the rest. Probably some petty female indignation that not every man she met wanted to throw himself on the ground and declare true love. Pah!
Still, she couldn't keep a smile from at least faintly curving her mouth as he backpedaled frantically, re-explained, and finally reassured her she was lovely. That cracked her, upgrading her from smile to grin. They had this in common, anyway. Sometimes her mouth just got ahead of her brain, and then she had to spend minutes awkwardly ensuring her real point made it across.
Oh. Things weren't going so well, here. She'd been hoping to steer the conversation towards "ahaha what a cute blunder!" for long enough to make her escape without it looking like she was fleeing his 'advances.' Now here we were, back in confession land, and Talian was starting to look more like the insane version of a genius. She listened seriously, the smile on her face forgotten. A confession of a personal nature made her feel like she had to provide one as well, partially because that was only fair, and partially because she felt it was the only way to make herself clear and explain any nervousness. She returned his smile in a distracted sort of way, trying to consider how best to explain herself, now that it was going to be her turn.
"Sorry," she provided, thinking it a logical way to start, "I'm just more comfortable listening than talking about myself. I mean, I've got no secret big-bad history, but I guess I don't really know what to say." That little confession came out hesitantly, but she was surprised to find she didn't feel so bad once she paused. Hmm. Awkward, yes, but she thought that at this point that was more of her own making than his. A faint smile flashed upwards for a moment, self-deprecating amusement in her eyes. "I guess it would be easier if I did have a secret big-bad history," she observed, a statement that was neither here nor there.
"I don't think that you think you're better than me," she explained slowly, disliking the wording but unable to think of a better way to put it, "But it's easier for me to measure people by rank, so I guess I think you're better than me. It's nothing you've done, so please don't be self-conscious." She paused a moment. "I enjoy your company," she offered honestly. She left unsaid the rather obvious conclusion that she measured herself by rank rather than any other trait, though she couldn't quite hope that he wouldn't come to it just because she hadn't said it out loud.
"I guess as I get to know you I'm trying to measure you differently, but I don't really know how. Maybe you don't have to...compare people, or...assign them worth or whatever I'm doing," she waved a hand negligently, indicating she wasn't going to take the time to examine that particular issue just now, "But I don't know how not to?" This last lifted upward at the end like a question, and the look she gave him was odd, analytical and faintly desperate. What she did and why she did it were things she didn't necessarily look at too hard, at least not when she could avoid it. She had no idea if anyone else judged people as often as she did, or if it was right that she did it at all. She did know she didn't know how not to, and she was too realistic to think Talian had the answer to that. He'd just said rank didn't matter much to him, so this was likely not an issue he'd ever encountered and worked through. In fact, she was quite sure no one could help her find some new way to evaluate herself. Instinctively, she thought that was up to her and her alone, but she didn't know where to start, or even if she should.
When it came to Breccan, Breccan rarely had a clue.
