Stuck In The Mud [R’nd]

B’jin’s breath hitched at R’nd’s soft reassurances, the greenrider’s desperate grip tightening around his lover as the words rolled repeatedly in his mind. B’jin trying desperately to process them, but at the same time, terrified that the moment he did something would happen, someone would waltz in, and pull the carpet out from under his feet. B’jin had never expected such admittance from R’nd, and he responded to the clinging hug in turn, face pressed to R’nd’s neck, both counting and revealing in the moment.

When R’nd laughed softly, and shook his head, B’jin was quite certain that what he had feared had raised its ugly head. He did not know what it was, or how it would play out only that he was sure R’nd had realised what he had said and would take it back, probably even take himself away. After all, what was B’jin but an eccentric old greenrider with far too much baggage? An oddly vague and emotionless expression fell over B’jin’s face as R’nd pulled away, the words echoing around his mind and going unprocessed as the bluerider kissed him on the forehead, and then on the nose.

It was only when R’nd pressed a light kiss to his lips that B’jin managed to process what had been said, and brown eyes widened, blinking in a startled manner before eyeing R’nd with a heavy mixture of surprised hope and heartbreaking wariness. It wasn’t that B’jin thought R’nd was playing with him, such a thought never so much as passed him by, but rather … Well, R’nd was known to be flighty and B’jin could still remember (when he chose to recall it) the time he’d first told R’nd he loved him (by accident! He had not meant to!) and the bluerider had almost passed out on the spot and B’jin had never been sure why he didn’t run. The thought that R’nd might be speaking in the emotional waves following everything that had happened, that was not so hard for B’jin to believe.

“You love me.” It was not a question, in any manner of speaking, and the words were quiet, smooth and firmly stated as B’jin’s brown eyes studied R’nd’s face carefully. He searched grey eyes for any hints of… B’jin wasn’t sure what he was searching for, but he knew what being loved by N’mall had entailed and while he wasn’t even aware he was searching for it, he was. On another level, he wanted to see how R’nd would react to his words being spoken back to him, to see what he would say or do. Would he take them back, or flee? R’nd had never so much as hinted that he enjoyed B’jin’s company as anything more than a rather beneficial friend (all such instance of R’nd speaking of love were as lost to B’jin as they were likely lost to R’nd). Did he even realise what he had said a moment ago?

B’jin searched R’nd’s face, his lips pursing just a little. “I love you, too.” It was spoken so seriously, a frown marring B’jin’s features as he waited for something to happen to make him regret those words. He knew he had told R’nd how he felt before. He could remember going out of his way to change the subject when words that should never be spoken slipped by uncensored; the horrible feeling of his stomach flipping and going to ice as he tried to fix the scene before R’nd processed and ran, forgetting all about the world around them. That moment was no different; the landslide, the mud, dirt, and grime they were covered in, the deaths of friends and family and loved ones, and even his young son drugged into unconsciousness not so very far away were all forgotten.

How R’nd reacted was beyond important to B’jin in that moment and he was wound up with rolling nervousness as he waited for a response, his face a picture of every negative worry, and every spark of hopeful anticipation.

Larrikith eyed Ayyonth sideways, her amusement almost as thick as the mud that had crashed down upon their home. He is so pathetic, her voice was a dry drawl as she snuggled closer to her blue mate. But he’s mine. And she could share him with R’nd, she supposed. An amused glance was given to Ayyonth and she licked his cheek.