Hello loves! While I haven't been writing, I have been working on updating some issues that have been hanging around on the layout! The Character change box is now at the bottom of the page, beside the up/down arrows! Green and Gold dragon flight dates have been shifted to the bottom of the page, where the (useless!) discord widget was located. Where the dragon flights were in the header, is now replaced by a Monthly Event box! This will be updated at the start of each month, with a fun mini-event you can take part in, if you want to! Thistle!
01.Oct.13, 05:49 AM
Larrikith knew how to make a scene; R’nd would always give the feisty green that much. She currently had him backed away from B’jin, his back pressed to the wall of the tub and grey eyes as wide as they could get as he stared between the greenrider and the roof where he knew the dragon sat waiting to devour him. She would surely come crashing through the ceiling at any moment to sit on him or eat him slowly, limb by limb. He was being so careful! He didn’t think he had hurt B’jin or cornered him and his words were meant to be caring and flirty. What had he done to upset Larrikith so much and make B’jin afraid of him?
The flood of memories ended up being worse than anything he could have imagined. R’nd had heard Larrikith’s explanation that he wasn’t feared but the past was feared though it didn’t matter. R’nd’s own fears of ruining everything he touched and hurting those he loved wandered back into his life as reality crashed around him. He had finally done it; he had hurt B’jin and destroyed everything they had together.
“I’m not him,” R’nd barely choked out the words as tears started to well up and he scrambled out of the tub to sit on his knees, “I wouldn’t… I didn’t mean… I… I…” with a blink of the eyes, the tears were set free down his cheeks and R’nd was left with a wavering watery image of B’jin before him. He only meant he loved being with B’jin! He loved knowing what they did together so he could have the memories for when… well, when now happened. When everything ended and he was alone again.
“I’m sorry, B’jin,” R’nd didn’t care that his voice cracked as he said his friend’s – ex-friend’s?—name. He was lost in self-pity and fear. How could he have been so careless after trying so hard to be perfect for B’jin and never upsetting the man or even asking questions that were off limits? “I only… I…” R’nd didn’t even know what he was trying to say anymore. He wanted B’jin to believe he’d never be harmed, talked down to, yelled at, or hated. How could he express any of that though? Maybe he really wasn’t any better than N’mall. Maybe B’jin really did deserve someone better. R’nd always knew B’jin would wake up and realize that but lately, the bluerider had fooled himself into thinking everything would be okay and maybe he did have a chance with the man he had thought was amazing and perfect for so long.
Pushing to his feet, R’nd wiped at his tears but lost any courage he had for a few brief moments. He couldn’t go near B’jin. It would be seen as an act of dominance and send B’jin spiralling deeper into his memories R’nd wished didn’t exist. How could anyone treat another human like N’mall, S’kef, and so many others seemed to get off on doing? “I… please, B’jin don’t think I’m like him,” again R’nd’s voice shook with the emotion he didn’t know what to do with as a stumbling step was taken forward before two were taken back. He didn’t even know which way to run! He wanted B’jin but wanted to escape as well. He’d only hurt B’jin somehow if he stayed.
“Please…” In the end, R’nd crumbled back to the ground and stared pitifully at B’jin as words he never thought he’d say came out on their own and didn’t shock him. “I love you, B’jin. I…” R’nd gave up on trying to explain himself with a sigh and dropped his gaze to the floor before him. It wouldn’t hurt nearly as much if he didn’t watch B’jin leave him.
Ayyonth stayed quiet during it all. He wanted to storm the building like Larrikith when R’nd’s emotions shot in every direction but he held his position. He was still angry over the flight himself and didn’t want to see Larrikith just yet but R’nd needed to sort things out himself. Ayyonth was proud, however, when the confession came to light though he really didn’t expect either man to have truly grasped the meaning or even hear it. They were two of the most frustrating humans ever but Ayyonth was glad one of them was his.
The flood of memories ended up being worse than anything he could have imagined. R’nd had heard Larrikith’s explanation that he wasn’t feared but the past was feared though it didn’t matter. R’nd’s own fears of ruining everything he touched and hurting those he loved wandered back into his life as reality crashed around him. He had finally done it; he had hurt B’jin and destroyed everything they had together.
“I’m not him,” R’nd barely choked out the words as tears started to well up and he scrambled out of the tub to sit on his knees, “I wouldn’t… I didn’t mean… I… I…” with a blink of the eyes, the tears were set free down his cheeks and R’nd was left with a wavering watery image of B’jin before him. He only meant he loved being with B’jin! He loved knowing what they did together so he could have the memories for when… well, when now happened. When everything ended and he was alone again.
“I’m sorry, B’jin,” R’nd didn’t care that his voice cracked as he said his friend’s – ex-friend’s?—name. He was lost in self-pity and fear. How could he have been so careless after trying so hard to be perfect for B’jin and never upsetting the man or even asking questions that were off limits? “I only… I…” R’nd didn’t even know what he was trying to say anymore. He wanted B’jin to believe he’d never be harmed, talked down to, yelled at, or hated. How could he express any of that though? Maybe he really wasn’t any better than N’mall. Maybe B’jin really did deserve someone better. R’nd always knew B’jin would wake up and realize that but lately, the bluerider had fooled himself into thinking everything would be okay and maybe he did have a chance with the man he had thought was amazing and perfect for so long.
Pushing to his feet, R’nd wiped at his tears but lost any courage he had for a few brief moments. He couldn’t go near B’jin. It would be seen as an act of dominance and send B’jin spiralling deeper into his memories R’nd wished didn’t exist. How could anyone treat another human like N’mall, S’kef, and so many others seemed to get off on doing? “I… please, B’jin don’t think I’m like him,” again R’nd’s voice shook with the emotion he didn’t know what to do with as a stumbling step was taken forward before two were taken back. He didn’t even know which way to run! He wanted B’jin but wanted to escape as well. He’d only hurt B’jin somehow if he stayed.
“Please…” In the end, R’nd crumbled back to the ground and stared pitifully at B’jin as words he never thought he’d say came out on their own and didn’t shock him. “I love you, B’jin. I…” R’nd gave up on trying to explain himself with a sigh and dropped his gaze to the floor before him. It wouldn’t hurt nearly as much if he didn’t watch B’jin leave him.
Ayyonth stayed quiet during it all. He wanted to storm the building like Larrikith when R’nd’s emotions shot in every direction but he held his position. He was still angry over the flight himself and didn’t want to see Larrikith just yet but R’nd needed to sort things out himself. Ayyonth was proud, however, when the confession came to light though he really didn’t expect either man to have truly grasped the meaning or even hear it. They were two of the most frustrating humans ever but Ayyonth was glad one of them was his.
