22.Dec.12, 05:27 AM
Talian managed a small smile. "I hope you're right," he replied. He scooped Fellis into his lap, holding the little creature gently but protectively as he turned the idea of a dragon over in his head again and again. It no longer seemed quite so horrible, thanks to this little monster, but Tal still didn't care for the implications. The loss of his career would be bad enough, and ultimately he still hoped to escape the Weyr once they finally went home. In theory, anyhow. He wasn't sure what he'd be going back to anymore.
"I considered just...spending the whole thing thinking really hard about horrible ways to kill myself," Talian joked grimly, a smirk crossing his young face. "I figured surely that would keep the damn things away." Fellis cheeped in alarm, wriggling free of the young man's hands and climbing anxiously up his chest to nestle on his shoulder. No! Don't do that!
Talian laughed. "But I don't think I can bear to upset him so badly," he said, carefully plucking the creature from his shoulder and returning him to his lap. Talian really was quite taken with the little fire lizard, and that alone was enough to keep him from dreading the trip to the sands too much. It hardly seemed the tragedy that it once did, anyhow. He shrugged.
"I don't know. I guess it's either going to happen or it's not, but I really can't imagine anything else at this point..." he said, almost too casually. An indecisive look appeared on his face, but he frowned and banished it quickly enough. "I know it's technically why I'm here, but I guess my moral hangups are still getting in the way. Good thing I don't get to decide I guess..."
But that was the root of the problem. Talian still wished very much to be in control of his life in some way. He knew that dragonriding was traditionally thought of as the ultimate freedom, but was struggling to convince himself of that fact. By all rights, B'jin had rescued him from an abusive father and a dictated life. It was true, and Talian knew he'd have gone willingly if he'd been asked. He reminded himself of that as he held Fellis close and exhaled.
"It's going to be interesting."
"I considered just...spending the whole thing thinking really hard about horrible ways to kill myself," Talian joked grimly, a smirk crossing his young face. "I figured surely that would keep the damn things away." Fellis cheeped in alarm, wriggling free of the young man's hands and climbing anxiously up his chest to nestle on his shoulder. No! Don't do that!
Talian laughed. "But I don't think I can bear to upset him so badly," he said, carefully plucking the creature from his shoulder and returning him to his lap. Talian really was quite taken with the little fire lizard, and that alone was enough to keep him from dreading the trip to the sands too much. It hardly seemed the tragedy that it once did, anyhow. He shrugged.
"I don't know. I guess it's either going to happen or it's not, but I really can't imagine anything else at this point..." he said, almost too casually. An indecisive look appeared on his face, but he frowned and banished it quickly enough. "I know it's technically why I'm here, but I guess my moral hangups are still getting in the way. Good thing I don't get to decide I guess..."
But that was the root of the problem. Talian still wished very much to be in control of his life in some way. He knew that dragonriding was traditionally thought of as the ultimate freedom, but was struggling to convince himself of that fact. By all rights, B'jin had rescued him from an abusive father and a dictated life. It was true, and Talian knew he'd have gone willingly if he'd been asked. He reminded himself of that as he held Fellis close and exhaled.
"It's going to be interesting."