06.Jun.12, 08:18 PM
I'shan frowned. "....I guess I just have really cold feet," he muttered. He felt pretty awful about himself in those moments. Was he really just as bad as Jazira's father? While she hadn't outright said that, that's what he felt like she meant, even if she didn't realize it. That's certainly what it felt like.
That's what he felt like.
He frowned and slumped a bit in his seat. "....I'll at least go and visit him more often," he said. It was a sullen promise, but not an insincere one. He paused to think about his own childhood. He'd never exactly missed a father, just as Ishadhe didn't seem to. But what if he'd had the chance for one to show up? What if there had been a possibility? Would it have brought him joy?
He sighed.
"I'll start going out to see him. Maybe...I dunno." He didn't want to make a promise that he couldn't keep. What if he chickened out? What if he just ran away again, like always? I'shan knew himself better than he liked to admit. Like so many other things in life, he glanced away from the true heart of this issue. He visited, but he ever stayed long...not because the boy made him particularly uncomfortable, but because he didn't want to be attached.
"I'll go see him soon," he repeated, more resolute this time. A visit couldn't hurt. He smiled nervously and extended a hand to Jazira, hoping to at least see her calm, if not smile.
She was right, he didn't want Ishadhe to grow up with this same problem.
That's what he felt like.
He frowned and slumped a bit in his seat. "....I'll at least go and visit him more often," he said. It was a sullen promise, but not an insincere one. He paused to think about his own childhood. He'd never exactly missed a father, just as Ishadhe didn't seem to. But what if he'd had the chance for one to show up? What if there had been a possibility? Would it have brought him joy?
He sighed.
"I'll start going out to see him. Maybe...I dunno." He didn't want to make a promise that he couldn't keep. What if he chickened out? What if he just ran away again, like always? I'shan knew himself better than he liked to admit. Like so many other things in life, he glanced away from the true heart of this issue. He visited, but he ever stayed long...not because the boy made him particularly uncomfortable, but because he didn't want to be attached.
"I'll go see him soon," he repeated, more resolute this time. A visit couldn't hurt. He smiled nervously and extended a hand to Jazira, hoping to at least see her calm, if not smile.
She was right, he didn't want Ishadhe to grow up with this same problem.