30.Oct.17, 06:47 PM
“I don’t know,” B’jin answered honestly, staring with fixation at his lover. “Maybe.”His eyebrows were furrowed together as he considered the question presented to him. Should R’nd be worried about age? His or otherwise? B’jin pouted, and turned his sulky expression upon the floor. “You are a lot younger than me,” he agreed softly, not looking at R’nd. “I was… reminded of that today.” B’jin lifted sad brown eyes up to meet R’nd’s grey. He shifted anxiously, and then sighed, his shoulders slumping and he took a near by seat, putting some space between himself and the young man he loved.
“I went to the Hold today, to visit Amarilla,” he shifted uncomfortably. Not at that admittance, but at what he was working up the strength to tell R’nd. “I told you I was assigned to the Hold when I was a Journeyman? I was there early in seven-oh-three.” He fidgeted uncomfortably again, not looking at R’nd. “There was a pretty serving girl, not much younger than me, and we um… well, she thought we were more than we were, and she got pregnant. Wanted me to marry her. I turned her away and forgot about it.”
B’jin took a deep breath, and breathes out a shuddering sigh, before looking up at R’nd, cringing. “I met my son today. He’s, well, he’s only a few days younger than you.” B’jin flushed, a dark red as he dropped his gaze again. That wasn’t even the bad bit. The worse bit. The greenriders raised horrified ryes and sought out R’nd’s gaze, wondering how the man before him could stand to be involved with him any more after that. But what he has to say next would no doubt send R’nd running for the hills, and B’jin’s face showed his fear. “He has a wife,” a pregnant pause, “and kids!” How could R’nd love someone who was so disgustingly old?! He was going to leave him, B’jin just knew it, and he’d have no one to blame but himself for being so gross and nasty and having grandchildren.
The greenriders took a breath and did his best not to cry, not yet. After R’nd kicked him out, he’d cry himself into oblivion and thorn drink himself into a stupor. But not yet, because R’nd had taught him how ti he strong and B’jin didn’t want to blackmail R’nd into staying with him out of pity. That would be even worse than being left all alone. Would Ayyonth still fly Larrikith? Or would his dragon suffer because of him? B’jin’s lower lip wobbled, but he fought bravely for a bland expression.
“I went to the Hold today, to visit Amarilla,” he shifted uncomfortably. Not at that admittance, but at what he was working up the strength to tell R’nd. “I told you I was assigned to the Hold when I was a Journeyman? I was there early in seven-oh-three.” He fidgeted uncomfortably again, not looking at R’nd. “There was a pretty serving girl, not much younger than me, and we um… well, she thought we were more than we were, and she got pregnant. Wanted me to marry her. I turned her away and forgot about it.”
B’jin took a deep breath, and breathes out a shuddering sigh, before looking up at R’nd, cringing. “I met my son today. He’s, well, he’s only a few days younger than you.” B’jin flushed, a dark red as he dropped his gaze again. That wasn’t even the bad bit. The worse bit. The greenriders raised horrified ryes and sought out R’nd’s gaze, wondering how the man before him could stand to be involved with him any more after that. But what he has to say next would no doubt send R’nd running for the hills, and B’jin’s face showed his fear. “He has a wife,” a pregnant pause, “and kids!” How could R’nd love someone who was so disgustingly old?! He was going to leave him, B’jin just knew it, and he’d have no one to blame but himself for being so gross and nasty and having grandchildren.
The greenriders took a breath and did his best not to cry, not yet. After R’nd kicked him out, he’d cry himself into oblivion and thorn drink himself into a stupor. But not yet, because R’nd had taught him how ti he strong and B’jin didn’t want to blackmail R’nd into staying with him out of pity. That would be even worse than being left all alone. Would Ayyonth still fly Larrikith? Or would his dragon suffer because of him? B’jin’s lower lip wobbled, but he fought bravely for a bland expression.