31.Mar.12, 05:08 PM
"It's not a problem," he replied, mellow and gentle. She looked like she felt better after her speech, which he didn't doubt. He wasn;t going to pretend to understand for a moment, though. Classfiiciation of worth based on rank had always puzzled him, mostly because he tended to feel undeserving of his own and rarely knew an older Master that he cared for. The Weyr was proving quite similar; those in power were cruel and unpleasant.
There was another side to that, of course. Tal had grown accustomed to being made a big deal of. It started young and simply never stopped. Now, he was suddenly faced with being the very bottom, the lowest of the low. It wasn't the loss of power he resented, but he loss of control. His ranking at home had promised to be his ticket to a life of his own, the one thing that would earn him freedom from his father and other tormentors. Now he was not only knocked to the bottom, but had even less control over this life than he had before.
Another reason to never Impress a dragon. If he Impressed, he'd be even more bound to them.
He banished these thoughts quickly, choosing to choke them down in exchange to joking around with Breccan. That was a much nicer passtime for sure, even if Talian was a poor joke-teller. Everything came out of him as a pile of facts. "I could loan you some of mine," he said reservedly and with a curt laugh, though he started unconsciously wringing his hands as he spoke. "You can even keep my father, if you like."
He was suddenly quite pleased with himself, having managed to tell a joke without stumbling through it or sulking once it was over. A smug expression crossed his face as he adjusted himself in his seat, taking a moment to think over Breccan's next query. A social butterfly? Hardly.
"Well...B'jin," he said. "And Erisi and Valerian..." he rattled off, naming first one of their most abrasive classmates. He really did have a masochistic streak. He paused and frowned. "And well, you and Lymsleia. So I suppose five for me, as well." That wasn't very promising. "I know many people by name and face, but I think those I listed are the only ones I've spoken to more than once, at least not seriously. Perhaps in passing..."
He shifted uncomfortably. He wondered if he would ever actually be comfortable in this place. He envied Breccan already, as she seemed at least willing to adapt. Maybe he wasn't seeing the whole story, though. To him, this was no opportunity, just damnation. It should have been an opportunity, but he still couldn't bring himself to let it be.
He swallowed hard. "I have more friends here than I did at home" he confessed, like he was telling a dirty secret. The reality there was a sharp contrast to his private thoughts, but he felt it was worth mentioning. "I'm still quite embarrassed that I don't recognize you from home, really...We should have at least met at some point, but I suppose my father kept me busy..."
There was another side to that, of course. Tal had grown accustomed to being made a big deal of. It started young and simply never stopped. Now, he was suddenly faced with being the very bottom, the lowest of the low. It wasn't the loss of power he resented, but he loss of control. His ranking at home had promised to be his ticket to a life of his own, the one thing that would earn him freedom from his father and other tormentors. Now he was not only knocked to the bottom, but had even less control over this life than he had before.
Another reason to never Impress a dragon. If he Impressed, he'd be even more bound to them.
He banished these thoughts quickly, choosing to choke them down in exchange to joking around with Breccan. That was a much nicer passtime for sure, even if Talian was a poor joke-teller. Everything came out of him as a pile of facts. "I could loan you some of mine," he said reservedly and with a curt laugh, though he started unconsciously wringing his hands as he spoke. "You can even keep my father, if you like."
He was suddenly quite pleased with himself, having managed to tell a joke without stumbling through it or sulking once it was over. A smug expression crossed his face as he adjusted himself in his seat, taking a moment to think over Breccan's next query. A social butterfly? Hardly.
"Well...B'jin," he said. "And Erisi and Valerian..." he rattled off, naming first one of their most abrasive classmates. He really did have a masochistic streak. He paused and frowned. "And well, you and Lymsleia. So I suppose five for me, as well." That wasn't very promising. "I know many people by name and face, but I think those I listed are the only ones I've spoken to more than once, at least not seriously. Perhaps in passing..."
He shifted uncomfortably. He wondered if he would ever actually be comfortable in this place. He envied Breccan already, as she seemed at least willing to adapt. Maybe he wasn't seeing the whole story, though. To him, this was no opportunity, just damnation. It should have been an opportunity, but he still couldn't bring himself to let it be.
He swallowed hard. "I have more friends here than I did at home" he confessed, like he was telling a dirty secret. The reality there was a sharp contrast to his private thoughts, but he felt it was worth mentioning. "I'm still quite embarrassed that I don't recognize you from home, really...We should have at least met at some point, but I suppose my father kept me busy..."