10.Mar.12, 06:57 PM
Breccan watched Talian's mobile face with interest. His features gave so much away; it was remarkable that she still felt like she knew nothing about him. She had always been careful to internalize more than express any emotions she had, which generally resulted in a face that could either be described as serene or expressionless, depending. True, strong reactions often made it through, and she occasionally had to struggle to control her expressions, but watching Talian's face was almost voyeuristic.
His confusion was clear enough, but she had to conclude that his dominant opinion was still negative, for both dragons he knew. "Is she much like Grith?" she hazarded, wondering if all Greens were just as bubbly as the one she'd met. If they were, that cemented her opinion that she had no desire to ride Green. On the one hand, perhaps a Greenrider would be missed far later than a dragon of another color, and she might manage to fly her north. On the other, she just could not handle a Grith in her life.
"Is that why you were forbidden from the Touching?" she asked, interested. She grasped that by 'lifestyle' he didn't specifically mean the rampant sex, but she was curious how much that word encompassed for him. Also, she doubted he thought about sex much. Talian was pleasantly attractive, but didn't exactly seem the type for a healthy libido. She'd certainly not detected so much as a flicker of attraction to herself, but, then again, perhaps he preferred men. Plenty did. Faranth, she certainly did. The appeal of women had always been a deeply baffling idea to her. She personally had absolutely no interest in that direction. Men were just fine.
"Good," she answered with a touch of relief. Primitive bush-healing couldn't keep all of these people alive, so she'd guessed there were more healers somewhere, or Talian and Lym were simply constantly worked to the bone. That hadn't been her experience, not yet, but as she was getting recognizable to those who frequented the Hall, she'd had more demands on her time. Overall she found the increased responsibility pleasant. It kept her hands and mind busy, and that was what she needed most. Taking advantage of his pause to likewise have some more stew, she continued to eat steadily as he explained. His proud tone made her smile, and she couldn't resist a teasing jab. "Perhaps you're learning to swagger after all," she interjected, tone amused.
"Oh, if either of us are sticks, it's me. I spent plenty of time on the Candidate Isle, and more moping. I'm afraid I was useless for quite a while," she confessed, mild disgust putting an an edge on her words, "Now I can hardly see the point of all the laying about I did. I probably would have just pouted at you if we'd met any earlier." She had been thoroughly pathetic, and she knew it. At least she hadn't been prone to bursting into tears in public, but the way she'd responded had been immature and certainly hadn't profited her in any way. Now she could think of six different ways she could have spent that time and perhaps gotten ahead. The waste was appalling.
The long pause in his speech took her attention away from her food, and she looked up at him, surprised to see him so suddenly distant. His flat denial that there was any way to go back home was disheartening. She'd hoped, perhaps even expected, that he'd have ideas, know of weak points. Almost against her will, she heard herself ask, "What did they die of?" It was probably a callous question, but it was the only way to get any information. She was reasonably sure she could keep herself alive in the jungle, at least so far as food and water went, but she wasn't sure what sort of predators called that green wild home. Felines, almost certainly, and a wherry or five could bring down a person if so inclined.
The name Volfetti had been suggested to her earlier. She wondered why she hadn't taken advantage of the opportunity to meet the girl yet. Ah, well, apparently she was staying, so she'd have plenty of time to get to know whoever she pleased. His question was one she'd considered often over the days since the Touching, and she paused for a sip of her juice, considering. "I know that nothing will convince me I can't go back like Impressing, so in that way, I don't hope for it," she began slowly, "But if I must stay, and that seems to be the general consensus, I believe Impressing is the best way to have a say in what happens to me. Perhaps I don't know enough to make that assertion."
She took another sip, stalling for time to think. "If the bond is really what they say, though..." she trailed off, uncertain she wanted to finish that thought. This was very personal ground; she was already sorry the phrase had made it past her lips. "Being known in every way and loved for all your life, I can't imagine anyone who doesn't want that," she lightened her tone with a heavy attempt at levity. She did want that, but she feared it, too. If she were left Standing, that would be devastating. Perhaps she didn't actively want to Impress, but she also did not want to fail at it, especially when the choices the dragons made were based upon everything you were and had ever been. Being told that all of her wasn't good enough would be, ah, unpleasant.
His confusion was clear enough, but she had to conclude that his dominant opinion was still negative, for both dragons he knew. "Is she much like Grith?" she hazarded, wondering if all Greens were just as bubbly as the one she'd met. If they were, that cemented her opinion that she had no desire to ride Green. On the one hand, perhaps a Greenrider would be missed far later than a dragon of another color, and she might manage to fly her north. On the other, she just could not handle a Grith in her life.
"Is that why you were forbidden from the Touching?" she asked, interested. She grasped that by 'lifestyle' he didn't specifically mean the rampant sex, but she was curious how much that word encompassed for him. Also, she doubted he thought about sex much. Talian was pleasantly attractive, but didn't exactly seem the type for a healthy libido. She'd certainly not detected so much as a flicker of attraction to herself, but, then again, perhaps he preferred men. Plenty did. Faranth, she certainly did. The appeal of women had always been a deeply baffling idea to her. She personally had absolutely no interest in that direction. Men were just fine.
"Good," she answered with a touch of relief. Primitive bush-healing couldn't keep all of these people alive, so she'd guessed there were more healers somewhere, or Talian and Lym were simply constantly worked to the bone. That hadn't been her experience, not yet, but as she was getting recognizable to those who frequented the Hall, she'd had more demands on her time. Overall she found the increased responsibility pleasant. It kept her hands and mind busy, and that was what she needed most. Taking advantage of his pause to likewise have some more stew, she continued to eat steadily as he explained. His proud tone made her smile, and she couldn't resist a teasing jab. "Perhaps you're learning to swagger after all," she interjected, tone amused.
"Oh, if either of us are sticks, it's me. I spent plenty of time on the Candidate Isle, and more moping. I'm afraid I was useless for quite a while," she confessed, mild disgust putting an an edge on her words, "Now I can hardly see the point of all the laying about I did. I probably would have just pouted at you if we'd met any earlier." She had been thoroughly pathetic, and she knew it. At least she hadn't been prone to bursting into tears in public, but the way she'd responded had been immature and certainly hadn't profited her in any way. Now she could think of six different ways she could have spent that time and perhaps gotten ahead. The waste was appalling.
The long pause in his speech took her attention away from her food, and she looked up at him, surprised to see him so suddenly distant. His flat denial that there was any way to go back home was disheartening. She'd hoped, perhaps even expected, that he'd have ideas, know of weak points. Almost against her will, she heard herself ask, "What did they die of?" It was probably a callous question, but it was the only way to get any information. She was reasonably sure she could keep herself alive in the jungle, at least so far as food and water went, but she wasn't sure what sort of predators called that green wild home. Felines, almost certainly, and a wherry or five could bring down a person if so inclined.
The name Volfetti had been suggested to her earlier. She wondered why she hadn't taken advantage of the opportunity to meet the girl yet. Ah, well, apparently she was staying, so she'd have plenty of time to get to know whoever she pleased. His question was one she'd considered often over the days since the Touching, and she paused for a sip of her juice, considering. "I know that nothing will convince me I can't go back like Impressing, so in that way, I don't hope for it," she began slowly, "But if I must stay, and that seems to be the general consensus, I believe Impressing is the best way to have a say in what happens to me. Perhaps I don't know enough to make that assertion."
She took another sip, stalling for time to think. "If the bond is really what they say, though..." she trailed off, uncertain she wanted to finish that thought. This was very personal ground; she was already sorry the phrase had made it past her lips. "Being known in every way and loved for all your life, I can't imagine anyone who doesn't want that," she lightened her tone with a heavy attempt at levity. She did want that, but she feared it, too. If she were left Standing, that would be devastating. Perhaps she didn't actively want to Impress, but she also did not want to fail at it, especially when the choices the dragons made were based upon everything you were and had ever been. Being told that all of her wasn't good enough would be, ah, unpleasant.