Stuck In The Mud [R’nd]

“No, you’re not.” While there was no true emotion in the way B’jin said that, there was certainly no regret in his words, and brown eyes were affectionate as they searched for and held R’nd’s gaze. He was still wary, but it was lost in the depths of himself where even B’jin wasn’t really sure if it were there or not. R’nd was sweet, and gentle and perhaps not as demanding as N’mall had been, even back in the beginning, but N’mall had not started heavy handed and he had once been sweet. Hindsight had B’jin capable of seeing how and when the man had changed, how he had become more confident when he had realised B’jin was his, and the way their relationship had altered as a result.

He was afraid of that happening with R’nd. Afraid not of waking up one day and realising he didn’t love the bluerider anymore, but rather than the bluerider’s love had become the same twisted type as N’mall’s. He was afraid of ruining the perfectly wonderful person R’nd was, by doing whatever it was that he had done, that had soured N’mall. A soft, breathy laugh escaped at R’nd’s gentle statement, the sound far more relief and not a lick of humour as he clung to the bluerider. R’nd’s sigh was not missed, and B’jin nuzzled the crook of R’nd’s neck as he let himself be held, enjoying the simple contact.

When R’nd straightened them up and gave him such a calculating look, B’jin’s eyebrows arched up just slightly in question. They lowered as the man gave a droll laugh of dark humour. “Rest?” It was an ironic, rhetorical question, as if to say ‘what is that?’ as he shook his head in answer all the same. “The last keen woke me,” his left arm unwound from R’nd’s neck so he could rub his hand over his face, and then rake blonde hair back from his face. He had slept, certainly, but it had been far from restful and B’jin was not sure when he would ever have a solid night’s sleep again. Not any time soon, for sure. Between the slide, the weyrlings and the situation with his son, B’jin was fairly sure sleep would be one of those rare and elusive things he wouldn’t get to see for quite a while.

B’jin was reluctant to get up, but he was also leery of falling asleep, however fitfully, while on R’nd’s lap. Surely the bluerider had terrible pins and needles by now, anyway! Smiling gently, B’jin stood up slowly, placing a light kiss on R’nd’s lips before making his way across the room, and sticking his head out the door. He gave a startled squeak when Shimmer appeared from between right before his nose, then lifted a hand to let the little gold land on it. He threw a glance back over his shoulder at R’nd before stepping out the door and closing it gently behind him; he followed Shimmer down the hall.

The greenrider returned some ten or fifteen minutes later with two pillows, a heavy blanket and a mischievous expression. He slipped back into the room quietly as Shimmer muttered something under her breath and floated around the Harper’s head. B’jin ignored her as he searched out R’nd and flashed the bluerider a smirk. Ignoring the seat they had been sitting on, B’jin instead angling for the far corner of the room, and set both pillows down so they were half folded, turning to raise eyebrows at R’nd. When R’nd hesitantly joined him, B’jin inelegantly forced the bluerider to sit down, using the pillow as half seat, half backrest, before settling himself comfortably between his lover’s legs, back to chest. The blanket that B’jin had brought was given a flick, sending it spreading out over their legs. Shimmer flittered around the edges, before nosing her way under and creeping up the length of B’jin’s leg.

The greenrider watched the little moving lump with visible amusement before he leaned back against R’nd, tilting his head back and kissing the bluerider’s neck. “You need to rest too,” he stated, though there was lingering tones of amusement behind the gentle words that were warmed with affection. His face was a picture of the positive emotions, before he cringed, sighing softly and sadly as another keen rang out, reminding him of the horrible situation that was outside the little bubble he was wrapped in with R’nd.

Larrikith’s voice was there, as sudden as the keen, but loving and reassuring him that it was no one they knew personally, not one of theirs, not one of ‘them’. B’jin pressed back against R’nd with a shudder, greatly discomforted by that reminder of what was beyond the door of the room they were in. For a few moments, he had forgotten any of that which was a result of the disaster had existed; even his thievery of the blanket and pillows had been twisted into a game of not getting caught, a game created to put aside the horror of seeing so many broken bodies, so many harried healers, so many lost people. B’jin grimaced with an unhappy sigh; twisting, he caught R’nd in a lingering, desperate kiss before curling into his lover’s chest and burying his face in the crook of his neck.

Shimmer squealed at being battered about when B’jin altered how he was sitting, and moved so she could creep up R’nd’s leg, then over B’jin and claw her way up the greenrider’s chest, she appeared from under the blankets and frowned at them both with her delicate little golden face. Taking off, she fluttered free of the two men, and settled elegantly on the bed by Indamor, curling up against the boy’s shoulder with a purring hum.