Stuck In The Mud [R’nd]

“Don’t thank me,” B’jin was amused. “I didn’t choose to. It just happened.” Rather a long time ago, too, but he opted to spare R’nd that particular detail. He was still wary of frightening the bluerider by bringing forth too many emotions and poor R’nd rather looked somewhat lost as it was. B’jin leaned forward enough to place a light kiss on his lover’s lips, watching the play of emotions across the other man’s face with interest. “And don’t apologise either.” A frown marred B’jin’s forehead and his words were slightly irked, an uncommon display of his more demanding side. Had either of them been less than on the same page, then perhaps apologies would have been more appropriate. Presently, however, B’jin considered them both moot and silly. They were on the same page, why apologise or thank each other for that? It was not as if they did it to upset one another!

The light hand on his cheek stirred him out of his thoughts, and B’jin blinked up at R’nd with a mingled expression of curiosity, concern and wariness, wondering where it was he’d run off to in his own mind in those few moments B’jin had been checked out. Brown eyes narrowed slightly, wary, before widening once more and the greenrider gave a soft snort. “Inevitably,” B’jin shrugged. “Nothing lasts forever.” Despite his words, which were gentle, B’jin wrapped his arms around R’nd’s neck and tightened them a little, wriggling closer on his lap. He kissed R’nd lightly on the nose. “I won’t promise that it won’t,” eyes were sparkling as he kissed R’nd on the lips before continuing. “However, I can promise it won’t be today. Or tomorrow.” Butterfly kisses travelled up the line of R’nd’s jaw to his ear. “Probably not even the day after that,” that was more breath than whisper and B’jin watched the tiny hairs on R’nd’s neck stand up in amusement.

Leaning back suddenly, B’jin met R’nd’s eyes very seriously, teasing gone for the moment. “I love you now, and now you know. Should that ever change, you will know then. However,” B’jin’s nose scrunched up a little as he considered his next words, before continuing, voice very soft and serious. “I loved N’mall for eighteen years, and it took a very unforgivable act on his part to make that stop.” He searched R’nd’s face for a moment; he had never spoken of why he had broken up with N’mall, not to anyone, though just about everyone had heard them screaming at each other, and the dragons bellowing as B’jin surprised the brownrider with a sudden show of spine and kicked him out of their hut, and his life. He took a deep breath, before speaking very softly; he was not interested in anyone passing by hearing.

“He was watching the kids while I… was doing something; I don’t remember what. I came home, and Amorandii was crying in the bedroom and Indamor was standing in the doorway glaring at N’mall. I walked in just as he slapped Indamor across the face. I think he was angry with Amorandii, and Indamor would not let him near her. It does not matter, anyway. They were only babies, my babies.” B’jin’s breath puffed out through his nose angrily. He didn’t need to say he’d move the very realm of between to protect them, if need be; it was written all over his face. “I’ve never been so angry, R’nd,” there was a tormented sigh lingering in the words, and B’jin’s gaze was locked more on his lover’s chest than his face though he was seeing far more of the past.

He lifted his gaze warily after several moments of silence, chewing anxiously on his bottom lip. “You won’t do that.” It was a simple statement, said matter-of-factly as B’jin met R’nd’s eyes frankly, unspoken words lingering in the steady gaze: R’nd did not hit B’jin, he certainly was not about to hit his kids. “I really can’t imagine any other reason to stop.” Even stopping loving N’mall had been far from easy, and had taken a lot of work from Par’a to stop him begging the brownrider to forgive him – at least when B’jin wasn’t seething in outrage that the man had dared to raise a hand to his kids. It was that fact, and Par’a’s own stubbornness, that had won the greenrider into staying single and soldiering on.

A lucky thing for R’nd, really!

Life would be very droll without their antics, Larrikith agreed happily, highly amused by B’jin’s latest and more uplifting thought.