12.Dec.13, 10:41 AM
"Please don't," B'jin whispered softly, turning his head slightly, reluctantly for the combing fingers were both pleasing and comforting, to peer up at R'nd with sad, sad eyes. The bluerider blaming himself wouldn't help anything, and would only make worse the feelings of helplessness that were coated so thickly over everyone. It seemed as if the world itself were breathing out 'what if?' on every exhale. So many things could have, should have, would have... Why torture one's self with such thoughts?
B'jin rose slowly onto his knees, tired and sore, and wriggled closer to R'nd so he was between the bluerider's own, arms curling around his lover's back and he hugged him tightly, far more cling than cuddle. He puffed out an unsteady sigh, the exhale broken and jerky as he pressed his face to R'nd's chest. The battle against falling apart was a losing one, and B'jin's shoulders began to shake as the horror of the day won out. The dampness of tears joined the dirt and grime on R'nd's shirt.
The greenrider was silent, though; the only sound he made was the irregular gasps of breath. He'd long learned the art of silence, even if he hadn't wanted to avoid the risk of waking Indamor, or disturbing the dragonet that was sleeping at intervals on the youngster's bed. B'jin felt Larrikith's presence curl protectively around the edges of his mind, just as he was conscious of the strength and safety of R'nd. What would he do, without his wonderful, beautiful bluerider?
Forgetting about his fear of the chair's strength - or lack there of - B'jin pulled away just barely enough to lift himself, straddling his lover's lap and stealing a kiss filled with desperation, fear and love. What would he have done, if one of those keens had been the result of Ayyonth going between? If R'nd had lost limb or life? Fat tears tumbled down his cheeks as his own terrible 'what if's' planted roots and took hold firmly, leaving the greenrider trembling.
How could he ever have survived, knowing someone as amazing and wonderful as R'nd had not?It matters not; heed your own advice love; do not linger on the unanswerable. The green dragon's voice was uncommonly mellow, and lingered on the outskirts of his mind; his thoughts were in a flurry, and Larrikith wasn't quite willing to brave them.
"I couldn't stand to have lost you, love; I need you." The words were spoken on a husky whisper, B'jin so afraid in that moment of the terrible what-if scenarios he had conjured and consequently lost R'nd in, to think that such words might frighten the typically flighty man.
B'jin rose slowly onto his knees, tired and sore, and wriggled closer to R'nd so he was between the bluerider's own, arms curling around his lover's back and he hugged him tightly, far more cling than cuddle. He puffed out an unsteady sigh, the exhale broken and jerky as he pressed his face to R'nd's chest. The battle against falling apart was a losing one, and B'jin's shoulders began to shake as the horror of the day won out. The dampness of tears joined the dirt and grime on R'nd's shirt.
The greenrider was silent, though; the only sound he made was the irregular gasps of breath. He'd long learned the art of silence, even if he hadn't wanted to avoid the risk of waking Indamor, or disturbing the dragonet that was sleeping at intervals on the youngster's bed. B'jin felt Larrikith's presence curl protectively around the edges of his mind, just as he was conscious of the strength and safety of R'nd. What would he do, without his wonderful, beautiful bluerider?
Forgetting about his fear of the chair's strength - or lack there of - B'jin pulled away just barely enough to lift himself, straddling his lover's lap and stealing a kiss filled with desperation, fear and love. What would he have done, if one of those keens had been the result of Ayyonth going between? If R'nd had lost limb or life? Fat tears tumbled down his cheeks as his own terrible 'what if's' planted roots and took hold firmly, leaving the greenrider trembling.
How could he ever have survived, knowing someone as amazing and wonderful as R'nd had not?
"I couldn't stand to have lost you, love; I need you." The words were spoken on a husky whisper, B'jin so afraid in that moment of the terrible what-if scenarios he had conjured and consequently lost R'nd in, to think that such words might frighten the typically flighty man.