22.Nov.13, 12:11 PM
Ryvian inhaled sharply as the dragonet prodded his mind. It wasn’t made up, he was sure of it. It was always an odd sensation when a dragon tried to get into his head and for some reason, he had forgotten that since the last time he went to a Touching. It was all real and it definitely wasn’t some made up ritual to make Candidates think they had a chance. He almost felt ashamed for ever considering that.
The questions were felt rather than heard and Ryvian frowned deeper with each one. “No, itty bitty, it’s not you,” he spoke softly to the dragonet within the pretty egg as the creature pulled away from his mind. Suddenly, he was kneeling on the not-quite-as-hot sand thanks to the constant rain with his hand still resting on the shell. The dragonet was so concerned for him that it had left him alone for fear of being the cause. How could he do that to such a beautiful – all dragons were beautiful to the twin that had been raised amongst them – creature?
“I’m alone. Only not really. It feels like it though.” Was he crying? Ryvian barely noticed the tears sliding down his cheeks as he whispered confessions to the dragonet that probably wasn’t even listening anymore. He had known joy once as well, he knew he had. It was buried deep beneath the sorrow, jealousy, longing, and even bitterness and anger. Ryvian had been in a state of numbness for so long after Nyvian Impresse without him, moving on to something new without him, and not needing him anymore when Ryvian still needed his brother. Only, did he? He was still functioning, if barely some days, and Indivara made sure he would continue to do so. He had suffered enough and made his friends suffer enough as well with how he was acting.
“I don’t know if I’m ready though,” again he whispered and again he was surprised to see he had moved without noticing. His forehead now lightly rested on the hard shell beside his hand that didn’t want to move but Ryvian knew he had to get up and walk away before a scene was made. Most of the class probably already thought he had lost his mind that day on the Sands when Nyvian walked away with a bronze dragonet in tow and not his twin but he didn’t need to constantly fuel that fire.
“Even if you’re not meant for me… thank you, itty bitty. I’ll think on things some more.” It was all he could promise the dragonet that had provoked the right questions without any negative attachments like what so often happened with Indivara. He knew she cared since she wouldn’t check on him regularly and make him bathe and eat but the harshness behind her words sometimes made it a bit harder to accept truths and heal.
Ryvian slowly climbed to his feet, reluctant to leave the egg that wasn’t responding to him anymore, and finally walked away. The dragonet within had thought it was good to find another to visit but Ryvian was currently satisfied with what was given to him. He moved back to the side of the clutch, away from everyone including B’jin, and plopped his butt down on the wet sand to watch with an unfocused gaze what was happening. Perhaps he would go for another egg in a bit before B’jin kicked them off but for the moment, he needed to think about those easy yet hard questions and figure out a few things.
The questions were felt rather than heard and Ryvian frowned deeper with each one. “No, itty bitty, it’s not you,” he spoke softly to the dragonet within the pretty egg as the creature pulled away from his mind. Suddenly, he was kneeling on the not-quite-as-hot sand thanks to the constant rain with his hand still resting on the shell. The dragonet was so concerned for him that it had left him alone for fear of being the cause. How could he do that to such a beautiful – all dragons were beautiful to the twin that had been raised amongst them – creature?
“I’m alone. Only not really. It feels like it though.” Was he crying? Ryvian barely noticed the tears sliding down his cheeks as he whispered confessions to the dragonet that probably wasn’t even listening anymore. He had known joy once as well, he knew he had. It was buried deep beneath the sorrow, jealousy, longing, and even bitterness and anger. Ryvian had been in a state of numbness for so long after Nyvian Impresse without him, moving on to something new without him, and not needing him anymore when Ryvian still needed his brother. Only, did he? He was still functioning, if barely some days, and Indivara made sure he would continue to do so. He had suffered enough and made his friends suffer enough as well with how he was acting.
“I don’t know if I’m ready though,” again he whispered and again he was surprised to see he had moved without noticing. His forehead now lightly rested on the hard shell beside his hand that didn’t want to move but Ryvian knew he had to get up and walk away before a scene was made. Most of the class probably already thought he had lost his mind that day on the Sands when Nyvian walked away with a bronze dragonet in tow and not his twin but he didn’t need to constantly fuel that fire.
“Even if you’re not meant for me… thank you, itty bitty. I’ll think on things some more.” It was all he could promise the dragonet that had provoked the right questions without any negative attachments like what so often happened with Indivara. He knew she cared since she wouldn’t check on him regularly and make him bathe and eat but the harshness behind her words sometimes made it a bit harder to accept truths and heal.
Ryvian slowly climbed to his feet, reluctant to leave the egg that wasn’t responding to him anymore, and finally walked away. The dragonet within had thought it was good to find another to visit but Ryvian was currently satisfied with what was given to him. He moved back to the side of the clutch, away from everyone including B’jin, and plopped his butt down on the wet sand to watch with an unfocused gaze what was happening. Perhaps he would go for another egg in a bit before B’jin kicked them off but for the moment, he needed to think about those easy yet hard questions and figure out a few things.