Hello loves! While I haven't been writing, I have been working on updating some issues that have been hanging around on the layout! The Character change box is now at the bottom of the page, beside the up/down arrows! Green and Gold dragon flight dates have been shifted to the bottom of the page, where the (useless!) discord widget was located. Where the dragon flights were in the header, is now replaced by a Monthly Event box! This will be updated at the start of each month, with a fun mini-event you can take part in, if you want to! Thistle!
02.Oct.13, 03:46 AM
How many times now had he stared at the way their hands fit so well together? How many times now had he decided B’jin’s hand was made to fit his so perfectly? Yet even with those thoughts happening every single time he looked at their fingers twined together, R’nd never got tired of seeing them that way or marvelling at them. B’jin’s simple gesture of taking his hand was what calmed R’nd down and brought him back from his fear of ruining the best thing he’d ever had while he waited for the greenrider to finally leave and keep the space between them as large as possible.
A light squeeze was given to the hand in his, a sign that he saw B’jin’s kindness and concern and was trying to register the words. It was odd; he hadn’t known he was crying until it was pointed out that he should stop. Looking back, R’nd realized it was true; he had been crying. The watery vision wasn’t from the bath nor was the way he had wiped at his cheeks simply because of a random itch. He had been brought to tears both because he was afraid of losing B’jin forever but because of the memories Larrikith had shown. R’nd couldn’t believe someone could be so horrible but how could B’jin have put up with so much and still come out as wonderful as he was? It was heartbreaking and R’nd didn’t know how to deal with any of it.
“I’m glad,” R’nd whispered, eyes still glued to the hands locked together, “so glad.” Hearing B’jin’s murmured statement brought back his own memories of when the greenrider casually stated it before and the way it had been received. R’nd had nearly shut down entirely at the time and had since pretended it never happened. B’jin seemed content to do the same and they went on existing as they always did. Now, it was reassuring to hear he was loved and even more so that B’jin didn’t run away or drop dead before him from shock or some curse R’nd believed his words would place on the one that got them out of him.
He wasn’t one to dwell on thoughts that made him uncomfortable or emotions he didn’t understand but as he brought their hands to his lips so a kiss could be placed softly on one of B’jin’s knuckles, R’nd realized something. He had always loved the man before him. No, not always. It had definitely been a crush and lust in the earlier turns of his life but the last turn or so, R’nd knew the feelings had changed, deepened, and now he had a label for it. Love. It was strange yet wonderful. Knowing B’jin accepted his confession and feelings as love as well made R’nd relax and feel like he had identified everything properly in the end.
“I’m sorry, B’jin,” the words were heavy with guilt and tinged with tiredness. So many emotions that day! R’nd was left completely drained and still unsure how to explain anything. He wished he had known about the flight so they could enjoy it together and B’jin wouldn’t have been subjected to D’hys. He wished he was a better person that could be everything B’jin needed and wanted. He wished he had been braver and approached B’jin so much sooner and possibly saved him some of the pain at N’mall’s hands. Everything was in the past now and it wasn’t like he could change any of it. All he had was that moment and making sure his friend was fine.
“I only wanted to spend time with you in mental clarity. I didn’t mean to bring back memories.” He knew better, that was the worst part. R’nd didn’t know what would trigger B’jin’s trips to the past but he knew they could happen and had been so careful with what he said and did. The greenrider had been through so much in his life, things R’nd couldn’t even begin to grasp thanks to his vastly different life, and they were prone to pop up at times. How could he be the shield that guarded against such things when he caused them as often as not?
A light squeeze was given to the hand in his, a sign that he saw B’jin’s kindness and concern and was trying to register the words. It was odd; he hadn’t known he was crying until it was pointed out that he should stop. Looking back, R’nd realized it was true; he had been crying. The watery vision wasn’t from the bath nor was the way he had wiped at his cheeks simply because of a random itch. He had been brought to tears both because he was afraid of losing B’jin forever but because of the memories Larrikith had shown. R’nd couldn’t believe someone could be so horrible but how could B’jin have put up with so much and still come out as wonderful as he was? It was heartbreaking and R’nd didn’t know how to deal with any of it.
“I’m glad,” R’nd whispered, eyes still glued to the hands locked together, “so glad.” Hearing B’jin’s murmured statement brought back his own memories of when the greenrider casually stated it before and the way it had been received. R’nd had nearly shut down entirely at the time and had since pretended it never happened. B’jin seemed content to do the same and they went on existing as they always did. Now, it was reassuring to hear he was loved and even more so that B’jin didn’t run away or drop dead before him from shock or some curse R’nd believed his words would place on the one that got them out of him.
He wasn’t one to dwell on thoughts that made him uncomfortable or emotions he didn’t understand but as he brought their hands to his lips so a kiss could be placed softly on one of B’jin’s knuckles, R’nd realized something. He had always loved the man before him. No, not always. It had definitely been a crush and lust in the earlier turns of his life but the last turn or so, R’nd knew the feelings had changed, deepened, and now he had a label for it. Love. It was strange yet wonderful. Knowing B’jin accepted his confession and feelings as love as well made R’nd relax and feel like he had identified everything properly in the end.
“I’m sorry, B’jin,” the words were heavy with guilt and tinged with tiredness. So many emotions that day! R’nd was left completely drained and still unsure how to explain anything. He wished he had known about the flight so they could enjoy it together and B’jin wouldn’t have been subjected to D’hys. He wished he was a better person that could be everything B’jin needed and wanted. He wished he had been braver and approached B’jin so much sooner and possibly saved him some of the pain at N’mall’s hands. Everything was in the past now and it wasn’t like he could change any of it. All he had was that moment and making sure his friend was fine.
“I only wanted to spend time with you in mental clarity. I didn’t mean to bring back memories.” He knew better, that was the worst part. R’nd didn’t know what would trigger B’jin’s trips to the past but he knew they could happen and had been so careful with what he said and did. The greenrider had been through so much in his life, things R’nd couldn’t even begin to grasp thanks to his vastly different life, and they were prone to pop up at times. How could he be the shield that guarded against such things when he caused them as often as not?
