11.Feb.12, 05:39 AM
Talian regretted speaking those words already. They were true, though, and Talian had a thing for the direct truth. He also had a thing for wallowing in melancholy, and if this situation didn't breed it, he didn't know what did. He wanted nothing more than to curl up, fall asleep, and wake up back home. He knew early on that wasn't going to happen, so why did he keep longing for it? Everyone told him to pick up and move on, but it wasn't so easy. It wasn't easy!
Even strong people like Erisi were being torn down, torn down until nothing remained but rubble.
"I know, Eri," he said consolingly, his gentle voice quivering with unsettled sorrow. He clutched tightly to Eri, as if holding him close would somehow make it okay for both of them. "I know it's wrong, and I know it's weak of me to talk like that." He paused to think about what a defeatist he was. He crumbled before B'jin and the rest of the dragonriders, knowing in the long run it did nothing to save him. He admitted only with reservations that in some ways, his life had improved. He had Erisi, and his other friends..Lymsleia and Valerian, not to mention B'jin, who was far better than his father would ever be. But he had no control, just like always. He was tired of the cycle.
"I...I'm afraid the Queen dragon would stop us," he said sadly. He hated to shoot down Erisi's desperate plan, but Talian had little imagination, and what he did have was cruelly repressed. He'd given up completely.
He loved Erisi's company, though. He often wanted to cry like this to B'jin but what else could he say to the poor greenrider? All it would do was make them both feel worse. In this case, he could share the experience with someone else on his own level. They were just toys for the dragonriders, he feared. It was quite literally over. What would he do without Erisi?
How could he justify making it worse for the poor man?
He fell silent, as if sensing he was doing more harm than good, and leaned over to give Erisi a light kiss on the cheek.
Even strong people like Erisi were being torn down, torn down until nothing remained but rubble.
"I know, Eri," he said consolingly, his gentle voice quivering with unsettled sorrow. He clutched tightly to Eri, as if holding him close would somehow make it okay for both of them. "I know it's wrong, and I know it's weak of me to talk like that." He paused to think about what a defeatist he was. He crumbled before B'jin and the rest of the dragonriders, knowing in the long run it did nothing to save him. He admitted only with reservations that in some ways, his life had improved. He had Erisi, and his other friends..Lymsleia and Valerian, not to mention B'jin, who was far better than his father would ever be. But he had no control, just like always. He was tired of the cycle.
"I...I'm afraid the Queen dragon would stop us," he said sadly. He hated to shoot down Erisi's desperate plan, but Talian had little imagination, and what he did have was cruelly repressed. He'd given up completely.
He loved Erisi's company, though. He often wanted to cry like this to B'jin but what else could he say to the poor greenrider? All it would do was make them both feel worse. In this case, he could share the experience with someone else on his own level. They were just toys for the dragonriders, he feared. It was quite literally over. What would he do without Erisi?
How could he justify making it worse for the poor man?
He fell silent, as if sensing he was doing more harm than good, and leaned over to give Erisi a light kiss on the cheek.