04.Nov.12, 02:21 PM
I'shan looked at Ce'lie's door, an apprehensive frown frozen on his face.
I don't wanna I'shan muttered to himself. Ilveriath picked up on it and left out a gentle sigh. The blue knew the truth; I'shan did want to, but he didn't want to want to. I'shan was selfish and fearful at his core, and this topic filled him with reservations.
He'd never had a father. He'd never felt the need for a father. His mother dedicated her life to him, she gave him everything he could ever dream or hope to have growing up. What more could a father have added? What could a father have done that she couldn't do?
I'shan wasn't so sure anymore. It still baffled him, but after meeting someone like Jazira, someone so damaged by her own relationship with her father, I'shan wasn't sure what to think. Would she have done better if he'd supported her? Well, certainly, but there was another factor. What is she'd just not known him? Did his presence in her life do more harm than good? Would I'shan's presence in Ishade's life only make things worse?
The bluerider looked helplessly to Ilveriath. I'm afraid I'll ruin everything he thought helplessly. He was terrified, both of the change in his own life and it's potential effect on Isharyn's. After months of being alone and trying to bond with the candidates he'd searched, or giving fatherly advice and feeling close to them in ways he hadn't felt possible, even in passing....Well, it was eating at him.
You know what you want to do Ilveriath purred. He realized it was a massive risk for his bonded, the sort of risk that I'shan didn't like to take. But, he was lonely, and he was guilty. He swallowed hard and knocked on the door.
"Um, hey Ce'lie. Um..is Isharyn around? I got him a present..." he said once the door opened. He put his hand over the bag he carried at his side.
I don't wanna I'shan muttered to himself. Ilveriath picked up on it and left out a gentle sigh. The blue knew the truth; I'shan did want to, but he didn't want to want to. I'shan was selfish and fearful at his core, and this topic filled him with reservations.
He'd never had a father. He'd never felt the need for a father. His mother dedicated her life to him, she gave him everything he could ever dream or hope to have growing up. What more could a father have added? What could a father have done that she couldn't do?
I'shan wasn't so sure anymore. It still baffled him, but after meeting someone like Jazira, someone so damaged by her own relationship with her father, I'shan wasn't sure what to think. Would she have done better if he'd supported her? Well, certainly, but there was another factor. What is she'd just not known him? Did his presence in her life do more harm than good? Would I'shan's presence in Ishade's life only make things worse?
The bluerider looked helplessly to Ilveriath. I'm afraid I'll ruin everything he thought helplessly. He was terrified, both of the change in his own life and it's potential effect on Isharyn's. After months of being alone and trying to bond with the candidates he'd searched, or giving fatherly advice and feeling close to them in ways he hadn't felt possible, even in passing....Well, it was eating at him.
You know what you want to do Ilveriath purred. He realized it was a massive risk for his bonded, the sort of risk that I'shan didn't like to take. But, he was lonely, and he was guilty. He swallowed hard and knocked on the door.
"Um, hey Ce'lie. Um..is Isharyn around? I got him a present..." he said once the door opened. He put his hand over the bag he carried at his side.