Hello loves! While I haven't been writing, I have been working on updating some issues that have been hanging around on the layout! The Character change box is now at the bottom of the page, beside the up/down arrows! Green and Gold dragon flight dates have been shifted to the bottom of the page, where the (useless!) discord widget was located. Where the dragon flights were in the header, is now replaced by a Monthly Event box! This will be updated at the start of each month, with a fun mini-event you can take part in, if you want to! Thistle!
18.Oct.12, 03:39 AM
B'jin smiled gently at Talian's confirmed assurance that he would find a cure for the man's allergy. If it were possible, if anyone could do it, B'jin knew without a doubt that it would be Talian who would do so. There wasn't anyone else worth even considering - at Katila or beyond - and while B'jin knew there had been doctors when he was a child that had found his condition fascinating, none had seen him as more than something particularly interesting to poke sticks at. They were far more interested in his reaction time, than removing the reaction. Even if Talian failed (which wouldn't be a fault in Talian, but the simple fact that B'jin's condition was difficult at best) the greenrider knew he could trust that the young Healer would have put everything into it first.
"I know." He murmured softly, mostly into Talian's hair as he held the young man, chin resting gently on top of his head and brown eyes staring absently out over the fields. The boy would do his best, and that was all B'jin ever wanted for him, or from him. His best. It wouldn't matter if his best wasn't what someone else could give, or was more than someone else gave. It would be Talian's best. "Hmm?" It was an absent sound, pulled from the greenrider without thought as he realised Talian was speaking once more. Brown eyes blinked, focusing, and his gaze dropped down to look at Talian with a gentle, quiet pride.
B'jin blinked placidly, but his eyebrows drew together just mildly as the young man spoke, puzzled and slightly distressed by the words that were being spoken. The greenrider's features flushed slightly, his expression guilty and he shifted his hands, one brushing gentle circles over Talian's back as he chewed on his words for a moment longer. He realised he'd waited too long when Talian took off speaking once more, the boys words tripping over each other as he tried to express himself, and B'jin waited. Relaxed, quiet, but still frowning unhappily.
"Talian," B'jin whispered, when his little healer had come to a stop. The added comment of his birthday surprised a flickering smile out of the greenrider, but his voice was soft and serious as he leaned backwards slightly. B'jin sighed softly, shaking his head as he shuffled words he'd never been skilled with into order, to try and make things better rather than worse. The likely hood of that twisted his lips into a bitter smile before it washed away. He sighed again, one hand freeing itself to shove his hair off his face.
"I... I don't remember Stealing you, Talian." There was guilt in brown eyes, as B'jin looked at the young man sadly, not oblivious to how the day had effected the Healer, or how such words must sound to him. "I don't remember the day, I don't remember my mood and I have no idea what I may have said or done." He paused, eyebrows furrowing, "I remember getting into trouble with D'ren; lots of trouble." The greenrider shivered slightly as he recalled D'ren's fingers curling into the collar of his shirt when the man had grabbed him in his outrage. "My memory is about as bad as Larri's, and she only remembers things for about three days." B'jin shrugged uncomfortably, looking unhappy. "I don't like to remember things, Talian. So I don't."
Desperate eyes begged for understanding - acknowledgement - that Talian would at least recognise that B'jin wasn't doing it to belittle Talian's experiences, but simply because the greenrider had such messes in his life, that forgetting had become the coping mechanism. It was how he survived; unfortunately, it tended to include the good as well as the bad, and often gave the impression of belittlement when people asked him why he had forgotten such and such. B'jin's eyebrows were furrowed sadly above his eyes.
"I don't want to hurt you, never hurt you. Or anyone I've brought in. Searching is meant to be an honour, it's meant to be a great and amazing thing. Before -" he cut off unexpectedly, oddly afraid in his current swirling state to bring up the Plague, "before, it was. We did so with pride. It wasn't a matter of what, Talian. It was a matter of when. Our boys never Impressed below brown, while our girls always got Gold." He shook his head sadly, sighing softly. "We've done no less well, upon Impression. But... I never wanted this life, Talian. How could I force other's into it? I managed to avoid Searching for Renewed Hope, and... I wish I hadn't. Three of those that were brought in and Impressed suicided. Three! I... I can't help but think if I'd gone, if I'd helped Search, maybe I could have brought in those that would have been stronger, hardier... coped. You know? Three wasted lives - six, if you count the dragons. Such a waste." B'jin shook his head. "I had the choice taken from me when S'kef opened his big mouth and blabbed about how great Larrikith is. We've always been a picky pair, so we got away with searching so few. I just..." It was such a bitter-sweet subject; searching was meant to be an honour. It was meant to be conducted with pride and assurance. Those Searched were meant to hold their heads high and be proud to be found worthy of a dragon... B'jin sighed sadly, wondering if anyone would ever be able to Search with pride again, or if wearing his knots would forever brand him worse than his greenrider knots ever could.
"I always hear you, Talian." B'jin murmured softly, sad. "I do. This has never been my strong point, talking, and I am no good with words. I am a Harper because I have a pretty voice and a clever hand at art. Not because I can weave fancy words. I love you, Talian. I will always try to do what is right by you, I promise..." His voice trailed off, the greenrider's eyes flickering unhappily with an image of the past as he remembered clearly and with distress that what he thought was right, had once become the biggest wrong. But R'nd would never harm his children, and Par'a would never let that man near his family again. B'jin just worried he'd make another mistake, and not see it until it was in bruises across the faces of his children.
"I'm trying," he promised, hugging Talian tight for a moment before relaxing his grip and kissing his temple sadly. He didn't comment on Talian's birthday for now; but that was something he would certainly not forget!
"I know." He murmured softly, mostly into Talian's hair as he held the young man, chin resting gently on top of his head and brown eyes staring absently out over the fields. The boy would do his best, and that was all B'jin ever wanted for him, or from him. His best. It wouldn't matter if his best wasn't what someone else could give, or was more than someone else gave. It would be Talian's best. "Hmm?" It was an absent sound, pulled from the greenrider without thought as he realised Talian was speaking once more. Brown eyes blinked, focusing, and his gaze dropped down to look at Talian with a gentle, quiet pride.
B'jin blinked placidly, but his eyebrows drew together just mildly as the young man spoke, puzzled and slightly distressed by the words that were being spoken. The greenrider's features flushed slightly, his expression guilty and he shifted his hands, one brushing gentle circles over Talian's back as he chewed on his words for a moment longer. He realised he'd waited too long when Talian took off speaking once more, the boys words tripping over each other as he tried to express himself, and B'jin waited. Relaxed, quiet, but still frowning unhappily.
"Talian," B'jin whispered, when his little healer had come to a stop. The added comment of his birthday surprised a flickering smile out of the greenrider, but his voice was soft and serious as he leaned backwards slightly. B'jin sighed softly, shaking his head as he shuffled words he'd never been skilled with into order, to try and make things better rather than worse. The likely hood of that twisted his lips into a bitter smile before it washed away. He sighed again, one hand freeing itself to shove his hair off his face.
"I... I don't remember Stealing you, Talian." There was guilt in brown eyes, as B'jin looked at the young man sadly, not oblivious to how the day had effected the Healer, or how such words must sound to him. "I don't remember the day, I don't remember my mood and I have no idea what I may have said or done." He paused, eyebrows furrowing, "I remember getting into trouble with D'ren; lots of trouble." The greenrider shivered slightly as he recalled D'ren's fingers curling into the collar of his shirt when the man had grabbed him in his outrage. "My memory is about as bad as Larri's, and she only remembers things for about three days." B'jin shrugged uncomfortably, looking unhappy. "I don't like to remember things, Talian. So I don't."
Desperate eyes begged for understanding - acknowledgement - that Talian would at least recognise that B'jin wasn't doing it to belittle Talian's experiences, but simply because the greenrider had such messes in his life, that forgetting had become the coping mechanism. It was how he survived; unfortunately, it tended to include the good as well as the bad, and often gave the impression of belittlement when people asked him why he had forgotten such and such. B'jin's eyebrows were furrowed sadly above his eyes.
"I don't want to hurt you, never hurt you. Or anyone I've brought in. Searching is meant to be an honour, it's meant to be a great and amazing thing. Before -" he cut off unexpectedly, oddly afraid in his current swirling state to bring up the Plague, "before, it was. We did so with pride. It wasn't a matter of what, Talian. It was a matter of when. Our boys never Impressed below brown, while our girls always got Gold." He shook his head sadly, sighing softly. "We've done no less well, upon Impression. But... I never wanted this life, Talian. How could I force other's into it? I managed to avoid Searching for Renewed Hope, and... I wish I hadn't. Three of those that were brought in and Impressed suicided. Three! I... I can't help but think if I'd gone, if I'd helped Search, maybe I could have brought in those that would have been stronger, hardier... coped. You know? Three wasted lives - six, if you count the dragons. Such a waste." B'jin shook his head. "I had the choice taken from me when S'kef opened his big mouth and blabbed about how great Larrikith is. We've always been a picky pair, so we got away with searching so few. I just..." It was such a bitter-sweet subject; searching was meant to be an honour. It was meant to be conducted with pride and assurance. Those Searched were meant to hold their heads high and be proud to be found worthy of a dragon... B'jin sighed sadly, wondering if anyone would ever be able to Search with pride again, or if wearing his knots would forever brand him worse than his greenrider knots ever could.
"I always hear you, Talian." B'jin murmured softly, sad. "I do. This has never been my strong point, talking, and I am no good with words. I am a Harper because I have a pretty voice and a clever hand at art. Not because I can weave fancy words. I love you, Talian. I will always try to do what is right by you, I promise..." His voice trailed off, the greenrider's eyes flickering unhappily with an image of the past as he remembered clearly and with distress that what he thought was right, had once become the biggest wrong. But R'nd would never harm his children, and Par'a would never let that man near his family again. B'jin just worried he'd make another mistake, and not see it until it was in bruises across the faces of his children.
"I'm trying," he promised, hugging Talian tight for a moment before relaxing his grip and kissing his temple sadly. He didn't comment on Talian's birthday for now; but that was something he would certainly not forget!
