24.Feb.12, 03:56 PM
There it was. Talian could read the confusion in B'jin's face, along with subtle irritation and what may have been disappointment or something akin. The healer let out a ragged sigh and raised one hand to his forehead, wiping away some sweat and rubbing his temples gently.
"I did mean it," he said, trying his best to regain a bit of dignity after his outburst. 'Embarrassed' wasn't quite the right word; perhaps humiliated. He'd acted like a child. Now he felt cornered, like B'jin was persecuting him for trying to defend himself. He knew it wasn't true, but the very notion lingered in his subconscious, prodding at him cruelly in an effort to keep him from rest. He wiped his eyes and looked back at B'jin, mentally exhausted and wishing only for the whole thing to end.
"I..." he started, taking a couple nervous steps towards B'jin. He lingered close by, quite obviously wanting to hug the man, but not daring actually initiate it. "I really am sorry. You're just trying to help me," he said with a shudder. He couldn't imagine why, he was certain he was just a burden to the greenrider.
B'jin must have really cared, to tolerate so much angst out of someone who must have stirred up a lot of guilt.
He sighed again, almost with catharsis. "I feel a little bit better, actually." It didn't mean he wasn't still a wreck. "I've only talked about Fiora once since I got here, and that was only for a moment...but I think about her all the time..." he admitted. He looked at B'jin earnestly, pleadingly. "....Do you think you can check on her for me, please? I don't care if it's bad news, I just can't stand not knowing...it'll drive me crazy for the rest of my life..."
"I did mean it," he said, trying his best to regain a bit of dignity after his outburst. 'Embarrassed' wasn't quite the right word; perhaps humiliated. He'd acted like a child. Now he felt cornered, like B'jin was persecuting him for trying to defend himself. He knew it wasn't true, but the very notion lingered in his subconscious, prodding at him cruelly in an effort to keep him from rest. He wiped his eyes and looked back at B'jin, mentally exhausted and wishing only for the whole thing to end.
"I..." he started, taking a couple nervous steps towards B'jin. He lingered close by, quite obviously wanting to hug the man, but not daring actually initiate it. "I really am sorry. You're just trying to help me," he said with a shudder. He couldn't imagine why, he was certain he was just a burden to the greenrider.
B'jin must have really cared, to tolerate so much angst out of someone who must have stirred up a lot of guilt.
He sighed again, almost with catharsis. "I feel a little bit better, actually." It didn't mean he wasn't still a wreck. "I've only talked about Fiora once since I got here, and that was only for a moment...but I think about her all the time..." he admitted. He looked at B'jin earnestly, pleadingly. "....Do you think you can check on her for me, please? I don't care if it's bad news, I just can't stand not knowing...it'll drive me crazy for the rest of my life..."