Hello loves! While I haven't been writing, I have been working on updating some issues that have been hanging around on the layout! The Character change box is now at the bottom of the page, beside the up/down arrows! Green and Gold dragon flight dates have been shifted to the bottom of the page, where the (useless!) discord widget was located. Where the dragon flights were in the header, is now replaced by a Monthly Event box! This will be updated at the start of each month, with a fun mini-event you can take part in, if you want to! Thistle!
24.Feb.12, 07:04 AM
Talian cringed from B'jin's snapping voice as if it were a whip. He didn't protest, for like any subjugated self-loather, he believed he deserved it. He let out a muffled whimper and clutched tighter to the man, his stiff body relaxing at B'jin's equally swift apology. Talian didn't hold it against him. He loved B'jin like a father. That didn't erase the pain from being kidnapped or the unpleasant memories concerning their first few conversations, but those things could be forgiven. He'd learned to expect B'jin's occasional spikes of temper or sadness, and he knew and accepted that B'jin would always listen to his own grievances.
Talian wasn't oblivious to his own hot and cold nature, either. While he'd made some modest improvements, he was becoming more and more prone to wild mood swings. All the things he was presently ranting about continued to drive him mad. Sometimes he complained to Erisi or sometimes he complained to B'jin, but far too often he just kept it to himself. Locked in his head, his problems either melted in with the stupor caused by his medication or swirled about uninhibited so he could over-think them and torment himself. One day he was nearly content and the next he wanted to die. It was a treacherous cycle.
At that very moment, Talian's mood swings made their grand appearance. B'jin's next comment earned a new kind of response from Talian, one no Katilan had truly witnessed. Anger. Talian's embrace shifted as he gripped B'jin's shirt with his hands, tilting his head up just enough to make eye contact with the greenrider. "B'jin," he said, narrowing his eyes like a tunnel snake, "How is it you're focusing on the one part of this that's unimportant?" Did B'jin just not want to acknowledge Talian's concerns? Did he have nothing to say about Fiora? Not even a small word of condolence? Or was he trying not to say anything? Talian could practically smell the guilt on the greenrider, so it wouldn't surprise him. After all, B'jin was the reason he'd never see her again, and without even a goodbye!
His hands and voice shook. Tears pooled in his eyes. He ground his teeth in frustration and jerked away, wrapping his arms around himself and choking back his tears. He refused to look B'jin in the face, instead looking at his feet and wringing his fingers anxiously against his arms. "B'jin..." he said, tone uneasy and uncharacteristically dark, "Can we just talk about something else?" He wished he could talk about something else forever. He needed to banish Fiora from his mind, and to a lesser extent, his parents.
"...I'm sorry," he added afterwards, the anger in his voice draining away almost as quickly as it appeared. He had no fire. There wasn't a single part of him bold enough to fight, even about the things that mattered the most to him. That's why he rolled over for Katila, the reason he accepted bad treatment from others and the reason he muddled through his captivity like a beaten housewife. It was the only reaction he knew.
Of course, it was also the reaction he always assumed he’d need. Defensive and pessimistic, his negative tendencies often blinded him to the good in his life. It was hard to value the people he’d come to love and depend on at Katila when he had a distant home and life to fret about. The lack of closure was killing him, but in a sudden surge of bitterness, he realized he was probably never going to have it. He gave a pathetic laugh.
“I’m sorry, B’jin. I’m a mess. I didn’t mean to come in here and make a scene…” he whispered.
Talian wasn't oblivious to his own hot and cold nature, either. While he'd made some modest improvements, he was becoming more and more prone to wild mood swings. All the things he was presently ranting about continued to drive him mad. Sometimes he complained to Erisi or sometimes he complained to B'jin, but far too often he just kept it to himself. Locked in his head, his problems either melted in with the stupor caused by his medication or swirled about uninhibited so he could over-think them and torment himself. One day he was nearly content and the next he wanted to die. It was a treacherous cycle.
At that very moment, Talian's mood swings made their grand appearance. B'jin's next comment earned a new kind of response from Talian, one no Katilan had truly witnessed. Anger. Talian's embrace shifted as he gripped B'jin's shirt with his hands, tilting his head up just enough to make eye contact with the greenrider. "B'jin," he said, narrowing his eyes like a tunnel snake, "How is it you're focusing on the one part of this that's unimportant?" Did B'jin just not want to acknowledge Talian's concerns? Did he have nothing to say about Fiora? Not even a small word of condolence? Or was he trying not to say anything? Talian could practically smell the guilt on the greenrider, so it wouldn't surprise him. After all, B'jin was the reason he'd never see her again, and without even a goodbye!
His hands and voice shook. Tears pooled in his eyes. He ground his teeth in frustration and jerked away, wrapping his arms around himself and choking back his tears. He refused to look B'jin in the face, instead looking at his feet and wringing his fingers anxiously against his arms. "B'jin..." he said, tone uneasy and uncharacteristically dark, "Can we just talk about something else?" He wished he could talk about something else forever. He needed to banish Fiora from his mind, and to a lesser extent, his parents.
"...I'm sorry," he added afterwards, the anger in his voice draining away almost as quickly as it appeared. He had no fire. There wasn't a single part of him bold enough to fight, even about the things that mattered the most to him. That's why he rolled over for Katila, the reason he accepted bad treatment from others and the reason he muddled through his captivity like a beaten housewife. It was the only reaction he knew.
Of course, it was also the reaction he always assumed he’d need. Defensive and pessimistic, his negative tendencies often blinded him to the good in his life. It was hard to value the people he’d come to love and depend on at Katila when he had a distant home and life to fret about. The lack of closure was killing him, but in a sudden surge of bitterness, he realized he was probably never going to have it. He gave a pathetic laugh.
“I’m sorry, B’jin. I’m a mess. I didn’t mean to come in here and make a scene…” he whispered.
