17.Sep.12, 11:30 PM
“You talk a lot,” Valerian stated the obvious in a bland tone but he didn’t mind this time. I’shan had given him more to think about and the bluerider had shared, vaguely, his own experiences and even alluded to being in the same situation right then. It was odd how it helped knowing it actually wasn’t unusual to have regrets despite the random encounters after flights being a common occurrence. It didn’t make him feel better, but it helped relieve a tiny portion of the stress he had placed upon himself for being a monster.
He wasn’t sure what to say to all of the confessions though his natural reaction was to laugh at how I’shan had ended up with N’gelt. But he couldn’t do that since he could even understand the attraction. He hadn’t fully approved of being grabbed by D’hys and Z’ia once he realised he had been but hadn’t he stayed and enjoyed himself instead of screaming or running away? There was a strange lure to the unknown and an attraction to a hint of danger; which those two definitely had around them. Valerian didn’t want to spend every day in their company but he was starting to learn enough about his personal tastes when it came to sex to know that he wouldn’t back away if grabbed again. Maybe they were the answer to his problem about being flight drunk. Assuming at least one of them always entered and lost the same flights as him.
For of that inner babbling he was doing, Valerian knew he was once again avoiding the subject of his screw up and was again eyeing I’shan to determine if he should or could trust the bluerider. He lifted his arm from the water to watch the liquid run in rivulets and drop from the tips of his fingers in further silent contemplation. A moment later he lowered his arm and looked back to I’shan. “It was someone I know but you’re not getting a name,” he had probably said too much with that bit of information but it wasn’t likely the self-absorbed rider would know who his closest friends were on top of figuring out everyone he knew. “The person forgave me as well but… I haven’t forgiven me. I guess that’s good that we’re so bothered. Shows we’re human and can still care.” It was his own little attempt to cheer up I’shan, though Valerian wasn’t usually one to pander to the needs of others. But I’shan was clearly going out of his way to help him and since he had given a new perspective on things, he deserved a little respite from the mental self-abuse as well.
“And you’re right about arranging someone. I don’t want to risk further casualties so I’ll hang around after flights and go from there.” He looked and sounded glum at the prospect but Valerian knew it was the best option and he’d no doubt grow used to it soon enough.
He wasn’t sure what to say to all of the confessions though his natural reaction was to laugh at how I’shan had ended up with N’gelt. But he couldn’t do that since he could even understand the attraction. He hadn’t fully approved of being grabbed by D’hys and Z’ia once he realised he had been but hadn’t he stayed and enjoyed himself instead of screaming or running away? There was a strange lure to the unknown and an attraction to a hint of danger; which those two definitely had around them. Valerian didn’t want to spend every day in their company but he was starting to learn enough about his personal tastes when it came to sex to know that he wouldn’t back away if grabbed again. Maybe they were the answer to his problem about being flight drunk. Assuming at least one of them always entered and lost the same flights as him.
For of that inner babbling he was doing, Valerian knew he was once again avoiding the subject of his screw up and was again eyeing I’shan to determine if he should or could trust the bluerider. He lifted his arm from the water to watch the liquid run in rivulets and drop from the tips of his fingers in further silent contemplation. A moment later he lowered his arm and looked back to I’shan. “It was someone I know but you’re not getting a name,” he had probably said too much with that bit of information but it wasn’t likely the self-absorbed rider would know who his closest friends were on top of figuring out everyone he knew. “The person forgave me as well but… I haven’t forgiven me. I guess that’s good that we’re so bothered. Shows we’re human and can still care.” It was his own little attempt to cheer up I’shan, though Valerian wasn’t usually one to pander to the needs of others. But I’shan was clearly going out of his way to help him and since he had given a new perspective on things, he deserved a little respite from the mental self-abuse as well.
“And you’re right about arranging someone. I don’t want to risk further casualties so I’ll hang around after flights and go from there.” He looked and sounded glum at the prospect but Valerian knew it was the best option and he’d no doubt grow used to it soon enough.