Hello loves! While I haven't been writing, I have been working on updating some issues that have been hanging around on the layout! The Character change box is now at the bottom of the page, beside the up/down arrows! Green and Gold dragon flight dates have been shifted to the bottom of the page, where the (useless!) discord widget was located. Where the dragon flights were in the header, is now replaced by a Monthly Event box! This will be updated at the start of each month, with a fun mini-event you can take part in, if you want to! Thistle!
04.Sep.12, 02:20 AM
Valerian sat up slowly when Talian crawled off of him and scooted away. He really didn’t know what else to do. Had anything he said or done helped at all? Probably not and he wasn’t surprised by that. He was a part of the problem and had to stop thinking he could solve this so easily. This wasn’t a student that couldn’t remember a song or hold a guitar properly. Was there a way to help a friend through being raped and once by you?
With a sigh, Valerian tucked his legs under himself to sit cross-legged as well. He made no movement to go to Talian again, instead running fingers through his hair or wiping his hands over his face, as if it might wake him from the nightmare he had been stumbling through for twelve days. It didn’t work, of course, and Valerian finally went for the teacher’s approach of correcting improper grammar in a sentence. “No, Talian. It’s not ‘these people’ but ‘you people’. I’m one of them now and we both need to stop pretending otherwise. I have Veeth but I’ve also… I… I used you for my own selfish needs just like so many of the inhabitants here base their days around.”
He wasn’t sure what else to say since he didn’t have any experience with this subject and couldn’t recall ever reading up on it but went with just talking and hoping something made sense. “Even under normal circumstances you probably wouldn’t be left feeling anything. I’m not that experienced and I’m likely horrible in bed,” Valerian surprised even himself as he tried to make fun of his sexual skills and let Talian know there wasn’t anything wrong with how he was feeling but it didn’t sound right as soon as the words left his mouth and not just because his ego hated the trash-talking. “Sorry. There’s nothing wrong with you, Talian. I do wish you’d be mad at me though. I’m mad at me, Tal.” He said he wouldn’t leave Talian but Valerian suspected he was now trying to make Talian leave him. It was probably better if they fought and avoided each other some more, right?
No, no it wouldn’t be but still Valerian continued with the urge to babble on about everything, mentally blaming B’jin as he did because surely the greenrider’s love of hearing himself was rubbing off on him, “At the time, I didn’t care if you wanted me or not and I think at one point I even tried to rationalise that it was okay because it was you. It wasn’t of course, but why did I do that?” Since he was on a roll and Talian wasn’t sure how to feel or didn’t want to talk too much, Valerian continued, confessing emotions he had only noticed recently, “because not too long ago I was fitting more pieces of another puzzle together, one about us. I’m attracted to you, Tal, and when Veeth was older I wanted to go stargazing again and maybe see if you… well, I ruined all of that, didn’t I?” While he did still hope he would remain friends with Talian, Valerian wasn’t going to hang onto any hopes of sleeping with his friend again. They would likely both remember what he did any time they touched and Talian didn’t deserve anymore pain.
Suppressing the laugh that was welling up at his stupidity and random leaps in conversation tracks, Valerian instead laid back down on the floor. He had stared at his ceiling enough already to know every crack and imperfection and now green eyes sought them all out, as if reassuring himself that there was still at least one thing that hadn’t changed.
With a sigh, Valerian tucked his legs under himself to sit cross-legged as well. He made no movement to go to Talian again, instead running fingers through his hair or wiping his hands over his face, as if it might wake him from the nightmare he had been stumbling through for twelve days. It didn’t work, of course, and Valerian finally went for the teacher’s approach of correcting improper grammar in a sentence. “No, Talian. It’s not ‘these people’ but ‘you people’. I’m one of them now and we both need to stop pretending otherwise. I have Veeth but I’ve also… I… I used you for my own selfish needs just like so many of the inhabitants here base their days around.”
He wasn’t sure what else to say since he didn’t have any experience with this subject and couldn’t recall ever reading up on it but went with just talking and hoping something made sense. “Even under normal circumstances you probably wouldn’t be left feeling anything. I’m not that experienced and I’m likely horrible in bed,” Valerian surprised even himself as he tried to make fun of his sexual skills and let Talian know there wasn’t anything wrong with how he was feeling but it didn’t sound right as soon as the words left his mouth and not just because his ego hated the trash-talking. “Sorry. There’s nothing wrong with you, Talian. I do wish you’d be mad at me though. I’m mad at me, Tal.” He said he wouldn’t leave Talian but Valerian suspected he was now trying to make Talian leave him. It was probably better if they fought and avoided each other some more, right?
No, no it wouldn’t be but still Valerian continued with the urge to babble on about everything, mentally blaming B’jin as he did because surely the greenrider’s love of hearing himself was rubbing off on him, “At the time, I didn’t care if you wanted me or not and I think at one point I even tried to rationalise that it was okay because it was you. It wasn’t of course, but why did I do that?” Since he was on a roll and Talian wasn’t sure how to feel or didn’t want to talk too much, Valerian continued, confessing emotions he had only noticed recently, “because not too long ago I was fitting more pieces of another puzzle together, one about us. I’m attracted to you, Tal, and when Veeth was older I wanted to go stargazing again and maybe see if you… well, I ruined all of that, didn’t I?” While he did still hope he would remain friends with Talian, Valerian wasn’t going to hang onto any hopes of sleeping with his friend again. They would likely both remember what he did any time they touched and Talian didn’t deserve anymore pain.
Suppressing the laugh that was welling up at his stupidity and random leaps in conversation tracks, Valerian instead laid back down on the floor. He had stared at his ceiling enough already to know every crack and imperfection and now green eyes sought them all out, as if reassuring himself that there was still at least one thing that hadn’t changed.
