02.Sep.12, 09:54 PM
Talian wriggled a bit as he felt Val's eyes boring into him. He wanted to look up and meet Val's gaze as he usually did, to see the curiosity and the playfulness behind the indifference. He wanted to look at someone who he knew wouldn't judge him in return or expect anything from him, least of all change. But he couldn't.
He felt rooted to his spot, like he were some sort of a statue. A few seconds turned into a few hours in his mind, and Valerian's gentle words went almost unnoticed and unprocessed by the healer's whirling mind.
"Val," he said again. He paused, shuddered a little. Why couldn't he think of anything to say? Why had he come here if he didn't have anything to say? He felt like a fool, like the one time he'd answered a question incorrectly in his first sr. apprentice class. Sure, he'd been much too young and he was nervous in front of all the other students, but that was no excuse to misspeak! He could remember crying to his father about it later, but his father responded with a beating rather than kind words.
That's how things were, weren't they? You didn't go complaining about your problems. No one wanted to hear it.
Not usually, anyhow. Except for when it came to people like Val.
Talian swallowed hard. "I...don't really know, Val," he confessed in a quavering voice. "It's been...a lot of nothing."He sounded vaguely horrified at his own words. It had been a lot of nothing. He didn't want to talk - or think - about anything if he didn't have to.
He felt rooted to his spot, like he were some sort of a statue. A few seconds turned into a few hours in his mind, and Valerian's gentle words went almost unnoticed and unprocessed by the healer's whirling mind.
"Val," he said again. He paused, shuddered a little. Why couldn't he think of anything to say? Why had he come here if he didn't have anything to say? He felt like a fool, like the one time he'd answered a question incorrectly in his first sr. apprentice class. Sure, he'd been much too young and he was nervous in front of all the other students, but that was no excuse to misspeak! He could remember crying to his father about it later, but his father responded with a beating rather than kind words.
That's how things were, weren't they? You didn't go complaining about your problems. No one wanted to hear it.
Not usually, anyhow. Except for when it came to people like Val.
Talian swallowed hard. "I...don't really know, Val," he confessed in a quavering voice. "It's been...a lot of nothing."He sounded vaguely horrified at his own words. It had been a lot of nothing. He didn't want to talk - or think - about anything if he didn't have to.