01.Jan.14, 01:59 AM
She stared off into nothingness as R'nya wrapped her up in his arms again. She stood in his embrace, nearly rigid as she stood and tried to do as he said and hear the words that he insisted. Had she been a sweeter girl, a less damaged girl, she may have sank into him and wrapped her own arms around him. But she wasn't and she didn't. Too much guilt and too much damage in her short life made it so very difficult to give back the comfort she received.
"But how can it not be my fault? If I'd stayed with A'mad instead of insisting on playing the hero, B'ker would still be here," she insisted as she followed his movements, moving back and allowing an arm to be wrapped about her waist. A walk then. She could walk and she could think. The thought that had she just stayed where she was, none of this would have happened, rang through her mind. Over and over it played. So many scenarios. So many ways that things could have been different. If only she had just weathered the disaster in the safety of her father's hut. If only it hadn't rained so very much. If only.. If only..
He wove them around the tents and bodies lounging here and there and Ameris dwelled on the could have beens and if onlys. A distressed mutter came from Mizeath as she attempted to keep the two of them in her sights. She disliked the thoughts Ameris had at the moment. So much blame the woman placed upon her slender shoulders. So much guilt weighed her down and Mizeath didn't know how to make them stop. Another distressed mutter and the gold settled down to watch the procession of Ameris and R'nya.
"But am I in one piece, R'nya?" she whispered, "Am I really?" She didn't know if she was truly in one piece. Was she faulty now that she couldn't get a grip on her thoughts? Would her dreams reflect the horror of the disaster for the rest of her life? She had no answer for herself and her questions were desperate as she put them to him. There had been so much death. So much destruction and coping with it was proving to be far more difficult than she could have imagined.
"But how can it not be my fault? If I'd stayed with A'mad instead of insisting on playing the hero, B'ker would still be here," she insisted as she followed his movements, moving back and allowing an arm to be wrapped about her waist. A walk then. She could walk and she could think. The thought that had she just stayed where she was, none of this would have happened, rang through her mind. Over and over it played. So many scenarios. So many ways that things could have been different. If only she had just weathered the disaster in the safety of her father's hut. If only it hadn't rained so very much. If only.. If only..
He wove them around the tents and bodies lounging here and there and Ameris dwelled on the could have beens and if onlys. A distressed mutter came from Mizeath as she attempted to keep the two of them in her sights. She disliked the thoughts Ameris had at the moment. So much blame the woman placed upon her slender shoulders. So much guilt weighed her down and Mizeath didn't know how to make them stop. Another distressed mutter and the gold settled down to watch the procession of Ameris and R'nya.
"But am I in one piece, R'nya?" she whispered, "Am I really?" She didn't know if she was truly in one piece. Was she faulty now that she couldn't get a grip on her thoughts? Would her dreams reflect the horror of the disaster for the rest of her life? She had no answer for herself and her questions were desperate as she put them to him. There had been so much death. So much destruction and coping with it was proving to be far more difficult than she could have imagined.