Hello loves! While I haven't been writing, I have been working on updating some issues that have been hanging around on the layout! The Character change box is now at the bottom of the page, beside the up/down arrows! Green and Gold dragon flight dates have been shifted to the bottom of the page, where the (useless!) discord widget was located. Where the dragon flights were in the header, is now replaced by a Monthly Event box! This will be updated at the start of each month, with a fun mini-event you can take part in, if you want to! Thistle!
04.Jan.20, 11:04 AM
“Oh,” B’jin said softly at R’nd’s explanation. He had been as confused as his lover; why would anyone be up and alone in the middle of the night, if something wasn’t wrong? But he took the words he was given, and mulled over them for a few minutes, letting the silence of the night surround them. There were little bugs making their low music, the wind, and the sky above. B’jin wasn’t really paying a whole lot of attention to any of that, though, as he hugged R’nd tightly for a fraction of a moment, and then loosed his grip again. He didn’t, however, release the bluerider.
“Rin?” B’jin asked softly, making sure he had his mate’s attention, eyebrows furrowed as he leaned slightly to the left so he could peer over R’nd’s shoulder and sort of at his face. The angle wasn’t ideal, and the darkness of the hour didn’t over help. “I’m sorry,” he said, the words whispering on an exhale. Trembling slightly, B’jin pressed his face to the crook of R’nd’s neck, breathing in the familiar scent of his mate. The greenrider rarely said the word ‘sorry’ – not because he didn’t feel it, but because it brought such terrible memories and emotions with it. Being beaten down until he sobbed the word on repeat, begging for it to all stop. Not a fun place to be taken by a single word. B’jin pressed a shaky kiss to the back of R’nd’s neck.
B’jin shifted slightly, uncomfortable, and not sure if he wanted to be more hidden from his mate, or to face him. He fiddled with the tie on R’nd’s pants; not in a sexual way, but in a completely oblivious and antsy manner that belied his mind going overtime. Taking a deep breath, B’jin breathed it out very slowly. “I love you, R’nd,” B’jin said softly, voice still barely above a whisper. “I… I know I fuck up, and I’m… insecure.” He paused, shifting uncomfortably and pressing his nose to R’nd’s neck, breathing him in again, grounding himself to that moment. “You’re so… different… from him, and I…” B’jin took another breath in, held it, and then slowly released it. “Even though its been…” B’jin paused and opted not to point out that he and R’nd had ben together for ten years, “a while.” He settled on. “things happen and I… expect it to be like it was, instead of like it is. With you. And I treat you badly. I’m sorry.”
That time, the word came easier to him, and B’jin shifted suddenly, pulling away, but only so he could scuttle around on his knees to stare at R’nd intently. “Rin, you are safe. You don’t… react… like he did… when I do… things.” A pause. “And I think that makes it… worse? In that moment? Because I get lost in what was my normal… and forget what is my normal now? I don’t want you to be like him. Not ever.” A pause, eyebrows furrowed together. “B-but maybe next time, you can tell me I’m being stupid… instead of, um, D’hys?” B’jin gnawed on his bottom lip for a moment, anxious and concerned. His time with D’hys had been the foundation for a lot of self-reflection, which had been set to motion when he’d overheard a couple of comments at the dinner. Not even all – if any – of them had been directly related to either B’jin or R’nd. But they’d resonated with the greenrider in a way that had made him anxious, uptight, withdrawn and ultimately ashamed.
“I don’t know why you love me,” B’jin whispered, curling in on himself and looking down at his hands, clasped together, fingers twined. “Or how you put up with me… but… please don’t stop?” Lifting his gaze, B’jin set pleading brown eyes on R’nd, trembling.
“Rin?” B’jin asked softly, making sure he had his mate’s attention, eyebrows furrowed as he leaned slightly to the left so he could peer over R’nd’s shoulder and sort of at his face. The angle wasn’t ideal, and the darkness of the hour didn’t over help. “I’m sorry,” he said, the words whispering on an exhale. Trembling slightly, B’jin pressed his face to the crook of R’nd’s neck, breathing in the familiar scent of his mate. The greenrider rarely said the word ‘sorry’ – not because he didn’t feel it, but because it brought such terrible memories and emotions with it. Being beaten down until he sobbed the word on repeat, begging for it to all stop. Not a fun place to be taken by a single word. B’jin pressed a shaky kiss to the back of R’nd’s neck.
B’jin shifted slightly, uncomfortable, and not sure if he wanted to be more hidden from his mate, or to face him. He fiddled with the tie on R’nd’s pants; not in a sexual way, but in a completely oblivious and antsy manner that belied his mind going overtime. Taking a deep breath, B’jin breathed it out very slowly. “I love you, R’nd,” B’jin said softly, voice still barely above a whisper. “I… I know I fuck up, and I’m… insecure.” He paused, shifting uncomfortably and pressing his nose to R’nd’s neck, breathing him in again, grounding himself to that moment. “You’re so… different… from him, and I…” B’jin took another breath in, held it, and then slowly released it. “Even though its been…” B’jin paused and opted not to point out that he and R’nd had ben together for ten years, “a while.” He settled on. “things happen and I… expect it to be like it was, instead of like it is. With you. And I treat you badly. I’m sorry.”
That time, the word came easier to him, and B’jin shifted suddenly, pulling away, but only so he could scuttle around on his knees to stare at R’nd intently. “Rin, you are safe. You don’t… react… like he did… when I do… things.” A pause. “And I think that makes it… worse? In that moment? Because I get lost in what was my normal… and forget what is my normal now? I don’t want you to be like him. Not ever.” A pause, eyebrows furrowed together. “B-but maybe next time, you can tell me I’m being stupid… instead of, um, D’hys?” B’jin gnawed on his bottom lip for a moment, anxious and concerned. His time with D’hys had been the foundation for a lot of self-reflection, which had been set to motion when he’d overheard a couple of comments at the dinner. Not even all – if any – of them had been directly related to either B’jin or R’nd. But they’d resonated with the greenrider in a way that had made him anxious, uptight, withdrawn and ultimately ashamed.
“I don’t know why you love me,” B’jin whispered, curling in on himself and looking down at his hands, clasped together, fingers twined. “Or how you put up with me… but… please don’t stop?” Lifting his gaze, B’jin set pleading brown eyes on R’nd, trembling.
