Hello loves! While I haven't been writing, I have been working on updating some issues that have been hanging around on the layout! The Character change box is now at the bottom of the page, beside the up/down arrows! Green and Gold dragon flight dates have been shifted to the bottom of the page, where the (useless!) discord widget was located. Where the dragon flights were in the header, is now replaced by a Monthly Event box! This will be updated at the start of each month, with a fun mini-event you can take part in, if you want to! Thistle!
06.Mar.19, 04:00 AM
The sudden end to the hug had F’drel blinking at R’dal, who was staring at him with a strangely intense expression. What the fuck? He sighed at R’dal’s worries — F’drel thought R’dal was silly for a lot of reasons, but having emotions wasn't one of them. And if Edath was sad it was because his rider was sad, that was kind of how being empathically bonded to a dragon worked. F'drel noticed the way R'dal was looking at the bed, and would have told him that he could lie down on it, he didn't mind, but R’dal had already sank to the floor. With another sigh, F’drel sat down too, more gracefully than R’dal had.
He didn’t say anything. After a moment he rested one of his hands on R’dal’s back and moved it in light circles. His little siblings had liked that when they were upset, and while R’dal was technically an adult it seemed like the sort of thing that may make him feel a little better. It was kind of like a hug, but gave him more room to breathe and talk. F’drel listened to R’dal’s story without interrupting him. If he said something, R’dal may get distracted and not get to what was bothering him. A lot of his commentary likely wouldn’t be very helpful either.
F’drel had no idea R’dal wanted to be a Searchrider. The bluerider always seemed so open, it kind of surprised F’drel that he hadn’t wanted to tell anyone. Did he think it wouldn’t happen if he told people? He had to tell the Weyrleader at least, obviously, and while ‘personal test run’ with a Weyrleader set every alarm off in F’drel’s head, he knew R’dal really respected the Weyrleaders. Probably a side effect of one of them being his father, but it didn’t change the effect.
As R’dal continued F’drel felt a heavy weight form in the pit of his stomach. He knew the story here was about R’dal and Edath and how they didn’t agree with the Weyrleader’s choice of Candidate but F’drel could help but focus on how much he did not like the implication that bronzes had no real sense for whether or not a girl would Impress and just picked ones their rider liked. F’drel felt sick, and his hand stilled for a moment on R’dal’s back, and he couldn’t stop the noise he made, somewhere between distress and disgust. Fuck bronzeriders. Fuck men in power everywhere who did whatever they liked with children because they could. He didn’t want to think about Nabol. He wasn’t going to think about Nabol because R’dal was upset about… about maybe not getting to be a Searchrider, because that was the actual matter at hand. And it was easier, so much easier, to think about.
R’dal had lain down fully on the floor in the time it took for F’drel to drag himself more securely into the present, and it took another few moments for him to process what R'dal had said. “You’re not horrible,” F’drel said eventually, “Edath is upset because you’re upset. And you’re upset that he’s upset, so he’s upset you’re upset all over again. If you keep thinking like that you’ll both just become more and more upset until it’s unbearable.” He’d not had this particular problem with Halomirth, but he’d certainly worn his thoughts around in circles endlessly until he’d made himself physically ill before. Having a dragon to amplify the negative loop just sounded miserable.
“Isn’t it common for Searchers to have a specialty, anyway?” F’drel asked, pretty sure it was true, “like, one pair will be better at finding Candidates for a specific color, or something. Maybe Edath is great at identifying Candidates for blues and greens but isn’t as good with golds. If…” he paused, trying to fend off the sick feeling again, “if that girl really is meant for gold, and only gold, maybe Edath wouldn’t be able to tell.” And then, because F’drel couldn’t stop himself, “Or maybe R’nya’s a fucking bastard and he and Xyreith pick girls just because he thinks they’re pretty and are making you feel terrible in the process and Edath’s actually an amazing Search dragon and he’s making you both sad for no fucking reason,” he almost snarled, genuinely angry at the Fort Weyrleader.
He didn’t say anything. After a moment he rested one of his hands on R’dal’s back and moved it in light circles. His little siblings had liked that when they were upset, and while R’dal was technically an adult it seemed like the sort of thing that may make him feel a little better. It was kind of like a hug, but gave him more room to breathe and talk. F’drel listened to R’dal’s story without interrupting him. If he said something, R’dal may get distracted and not get to what was bothering him. A lot of his commentary likely wouldn’t be very helpful either.
F’drel had no idea R’dal wanted to be a Searchrider. The bluerider always seemed so open, it kind of surprised F’drel that he hadn’t wanted to tell anyone. Did he think it wouldn’t happen if he told people? He had to tell the Weyrleader at least, obviously, and while ‘personal test run’ with a Weyrleader set every alarm off in F’drel’s head, he knew R’dal really respected the Weyrleaders. Probably a side effect of one of them being his father, but it didn’t change the effect.
As R’dal continued F’drel felt a heavy weight form in the pit of his stomach. He knew the story here was about R’dal and Edath and how they didn’t agree with the Weyrleader’s choice of Candidate but F’drel could help but focus on how much he did not like the implication that bronzes had no real sense for whether or not a girl would Impress and just picked ones their rider liked. F’drel felt sick, and his hand stilled for a moment on R’dal’s back, and he couldn’t stop the noise he made, somewhere between distress and disgust. Fuck bronzeriders. Fuck men in power everywhere who did whatever they liked with children because they could. He didn’t want to think about Nabol. He wasn’t going to think about Nabol because R’dal was upset about… about maybe not getting to be a Searchrider, because that was the actual matter at hand. And it was easier, so much easier, to think about.
R’dal had lain down fully on the floor in the time it took for F’drel to drag himself more securely into the present, and it took another few moments for him to process what R'dal had said. “You’re not horrible,” F’drel said eventually, “Edath is upset because you’re upset. And you’re upset that he’s upset, so he’s upset you’re upset all over again. If you keep thinking like that you’ll both just become more and more upset until it’s unbearable.” He’d not had this particular problem with Halomirth, but he’d certainly worn his thoughts around in circles endlessly until he’d made himself physically ill before. Having a dragon to amplify the negative loop just sounded miserable.
“Isn’t it common for Searchers to have a specialty, anyway?” F’drel asked, pretty sure it was true, “like, one pair will be better at finding Candidates for a specific color, or something. Maybe Edath is great at identifying Candidates for blues and greens but isn’t as good with golds. If…” he paused, trying to fend off the sick feeling again, “if that girl really is meant for gold, and only gold, maybe Edath wouldn’t be able to tell.” And then, because F’drel couldn’t stop himself, “Or maybe R’nya’s a fucking bastard and he and Xyreith pick girls just because he thinks they’re pretty and are making you feel terrible in the process and Edath’s actually an amazing Search dragon and he’s making you both sad for no fucking reason,” he almost snarled, genuinely angry at the Fort Weyrleader.
