06.Oct.18, 03:33 AM
M’dox listened quietly as T’bia spoke, just taking the words in and relaxing into his arms. He frowned a little at some of what T’bia was saying, not sure he liked the way T’bia talked about himself. T’bia was wonderful, not broken or useless and M’dox wanted him to know it. Carefully he leaned his head back a little so he could look up at T’bia properly.
“Don’t be sorry,” he said sincerely, “I like listening to you talk.” The arm wrapped around T’bia’s waist moved to cradle the back of his head as M’dox leaned in to kiss him softly. His plan had been a quick kiss, just to make sure T’bia understood he meant what he said, but he had missed T’bia, he had missed this, and once he started he didn’t want to stop. Since T’bia didn’t stop him, and was even kissing back, M’dox decided to just keep kissing for a bit. And it was nice, it was so nice, and he was an idiot for not making sure to stay in contact with T’bia all summer when they could have been lying in his bed and kissing instead of moping. They could fix it now though.
For a moment M’dox broke the kiss, needing to breathe, and he shifted a little, reaching so he could press their foreheads together, noses brushing. As much as he hated to admit it, they should probably take a break from kissing. There were a few things M’dox needed T’bia to hear.
“I’m not good at having friends either,” M’dox said, keeping eye contact with T’bia. He couldn’t look many people in the eye for long, but with T’bia he could. “I didn’t have any growing up, and then I came here and I didn’t know how to make any. Riquarth was my first friend here. You’re the second. Which I suppose makes Jycenth third, if he’s alright with that.” he said with a small grin. It probably was pretty sad to have dragons as two of his three friends, but that was okay. “You’re not broken, T’bia, and neither’s Jycenth. I don’t know why you’d think that. You’re amazing, not broken.”
M’dox paused a moment, licking his lips when he realized how dry they were, having trouble getting the next few words out. Thinking about the fires was hard, and talking about them was harder. “I wasn’t any good dealing with the fires either. I was such a mess, Riquarth made sure we got put on trench digging the entire time. A lot of that was behind the fires, as precautions. We were a lot safer than most other dragonriders, and I was still terrified. The entire time, I was so scared. But Riquarth was there with me, and he helped so much, and I don’t want to go back to being without him either. And I don’t know how to not be afraid of losing him, so I don’t have any advice on that, but you’re not alone. I was scared too. And I mean, most others are braver than me, but I bet lots of dragonriders were afraid for their dragons. It’s not just you. And even if it was,” M’dox looked very intently at T’bia, wanting him to understand, “even if it was just you, I still think you’re wonderful, and I know Jycenth agrees. You can be wonderful and afraid, T’bia, and I’ll still love you, okay?” And then M’dox blinked, not at all planning on having said that last part. He hadn’t exactly thought about it before, not in words, anyway, but it felt right now that he’d said it. Of course, the realization had him blushing furiously and hiding his face against T’bia’s chest again. What if he’d ruined everything again from talking before thinking in his desperation to make T’bia feel better? What if he took it the wrong way? It was just that T’bia was so important to him and M’dox had wanted him to know.
“Don’t be sorry,” he said sincerely, “I like listening to you talk.” The arm wrapped around T’bia’s waist moved to cradle the back of his head as M’dox leaned in to kiss him softly. His plan had been a quick kiss, just to make sure T’bia understood he meant what he said, but he had missed T’bia, he had missed this, and once he started he didn’t want to stop. Since T’bia didn’t stop him, and was even kissing back, M’dox decided to just keep kissing for a bit. And it was nice, it was so nice, and he was an idiot for not making sure to stay in contact with T’bia all summer when they could have been lying in his bed and kissing instead of moping. They could fix it now though.
For a moment M’dox broke the kiss, needing to breathe, and he shifted a little, reaching so he could press their foreheads together, noses brushing. As much as he hated to admit it, they should probably take a break from kissing. There were a few things M’dox needed T’bia to hear.
“I’m not good at having friends either,” M’dox said, keeping eye contact with T’bia. He couldn’t look many people in the eye for long, but with T’bia he could. “I didn’t have any growing up, and then I came here and I didn’t know how to make any. Riquarth was my first friend here. You’re the second. Which I suppose makes Jycenth third, if he’s alright with that.” he said with a small grin. It probably was pretty sad to have dragons as two of his three friends, but that was okay. “You’re not broken, T’bia, and neither’s Jycenth. I don’t know why you’d think that. You’re amazing, not broken.”
M’dox paused a moment, licking his lips when he realized how dry they were, having trouble getting the next few words out. Thinking about the fires was hard, and talking about them was harder. “I wasn’t any good dealing with the fires either. I was such a mess, Riquarth made sure we got put on trench digging the entire time. A lot of that was behind the fires, as precautions. We were a lot safer than most other dragonriders, and I was still terrified. The entire time, I was so scared. But Riquarth was there with me, and he helped so much, and I don’t want to go back to being without him either. And I don’t know how to not be afraid of losing him, so I don’t have any advice on that, but you’re not alone. I was scared too. And I mean, most others are braver than me, but I bet lots of dragonriders were afraid for their dragons. It’s not just you. And even if it was,” M’dox looked very intently at T’bia, wanting him to understand, “even if it was just you, I still think you’re wonderful, and I know Jycenth agrees. You can be wonderful and afraid, T’bia, and I’ll still love you, okay?” And then M’dox blinked, not at all planning on having said that last part. He hadn’t exactly thought about it before, not in words, anyway, but it felt right now that he’d said it. Of course, the realization had him blushing furiously and hiding his face against T’bia’s chest again. What if he’d ruined everything again from talking before thinking in his desperation to make T’bia feel better? What if he took it the wrong way? It was just that T’bia was so important to him and M’dox had wanted him to know.