26.May.18, 03:59 AM
Nerreh was finally going to be Standing for a Hatching. She was ecstatic that it was finally happening, and the morning of the Touching she was awake much earlier than she actually had to be, constantly waking and checking how soon she needed to be up before eventually giving up and rising.
By the time the first group of Candidates reached the Sands, Nerreh was practically vibrating with excitement. She’d grown up around dragons, been around them her whole life and never before been this close to the eggs prior to a Hatching, and even then she’d never been allowed too close. Golds and their moods had kept her away, the respect for gold dragons instilled in weyrbrats from a young age keeping her youthful exuberance at bay. As the small group reached the Hatching grounds and entered, Nerreh couldn’t help shooting a grin at Vaeyla and waving at her friend. Of course, she immediately gave a respectful nod to Nadioth, remembering the gold’s words about wanting only the best Candidates. Nerreh knew she was a good Candidate, she was! There was little about dragons that could be taught outside of personal experience she didn’t know, she would make a great dragonrider. She would! She even gave a respectful nod to Rhezalth, though not quite as big as the one to Nadioth. N’mor was ignored.
Once it was clear they were allowed to begin interacting with the eggs, Nerreh chose one at random and headed over to it, resting a palm that was only sweaty from the heat of Ista, not nerves (Ista was hotter than Telgar, it was only reasonable!). The shell was warm beneath her hand, and she gently swiped her thumb against the lightly textured surface in greeting.
Immediately Nerreh felt the gentle pressure she recognized as ‘dragon’ against her mind, not as delicate or controlled as the adult dragons she’d spoken to. It was questioning, unsure, looking for something in Nerreh it wasn’t sure it would find.
And why would it?
What did she honestly have to offer a dragon? Her stellar personality? Yeah, right. She was just a scared little girl who desperately wanted to be special. So what if she wanted a fighting dragon? She was too much of a coward to Stand until she was eighteen, despite being allowed to Stand much younger. Sure, it was discouraged but if she was really meant for a fighting dragon she would have pushed on anyway, right? Fought for it. But no, she hadn’t, she’ hid behind the veneer of her little brother needing her. Which he did, but Nerreh wasn’t in a state of mind to give herself much credit. She could have started Standing a turn or two ago, but had put it off. Cause she was afraid, wasn’t she? That she would never Impress, that she would Impress a color that meant she was just a normal woman and would be expected to be feminine. Gold riders were ladies, even if they were more relaxed than Holders, from what Nerreh knew. She didn’t want to be a lady! Shecouldn’t to be a lady. She just… she couldn’t. But of course she wasn’t a boy, so she couldn’t just Impress a fighting dragon with no worry. Fuck, why couldn’t she have just been a boy? Everything would have been easier. And maybe she would know she was good enough for a dragon.
The mix of confusion, insecurity, and anxiety that swirled through Nerreh’s thoughts seemed to distress the egg, and she felt it’s own apprehension about hatching, bolstered by her own feelings.
“I’m sorry.” She mumbled, pulling her hand away from the smooth surface. Nerreh stared at the egg for another moment, worried, before steeling herself and turning away from it. She couldn’t even touch an egg without upsetting it, why would she ever Impress a dragon? She vaguely headed towards another egg, less sure of everything with each step.
ooc: Touched egg 15: Constellation
word: 'insecure'
By the time the first group of Candidates reached the Sands, Nerreh was practically vibrating with excitement. She’d grown up around dragons, been around them her whole life and never before been this close to the eggs prior to a Hatching, and even then she’d never been allowed too close. Golds and their moods had kept her away, the respect for gold dragons instilled in weyrbrats from a young age keeping her youthful exuberance at bay. As the small group reached the Hatching grounds and entered, Nerreh couldn’t help shooting a grin at Vaeyla and waving at her friend. Of course, she immediately gave a respectful nod to Nadioth, remembering the gold’s words about wanting only the best Candidates. Nerreh knew she was a good Candidate, she was! There was little about dragons that could be taught outside of personal experience she didn’t know, she would make a great dragonrider. She would! She even gave a respectful nod to Rhezalth, though not quite as big as the one to Nadioth. N’mor was ignored.
Once it was clear they were allowed to begin interacting with the eggs, Nerreh chose one at random and headed over to it, resting a palm that was only sweaty from the heat of Ista, not nerves (Ista was hotter than Telgar, it was only reasonable!). The shell was warm beneath her hand, and she gently swiped her thumb against the lightly textured surface in greeting.
Immediately Nerreh felt the gentle pressure she recognized as ‘dragon’ against her mind, not as delicate or controlled as the adult dragons she’d spoken to. It was questioning, unsure, looking for something in Nerreh it wasn’t sure it would find.
And why would it?
What did she honestly have to offer a dragon? Her stellar personality? Yeah, right. She was just a scared little girl who desperately wanted to be special. So what if she wanted a fighting dragon? She was too much of a coward to Stand until she was eighteen, despite being allowed to Stand much younger. Sure, it was discouraged but if she was really meant for a fighting dragon she would have pushed on anyway, right? Fought for it. But no, she hadn’t, she’ hid behind the veneer of her little brother needing her. Which he did, but Nerreh wasn’t in a state of mind to give herself much credit. She could have started Standing a turn or two ago, but had put it off. Cause she was afraid, wasn’t she? That she would never Impress, that she would Impress a color that meant she was just a normal woman and would be expected to be feminine. Gold riders were ladies, even if they were more relaxed than Holders, from what Nerreh knew. She didn’t want to be a lady! Shecouldn’t to be a lady. She just… she couldn’t. But of course she wasn’t a boy, so she couldn’t just Impress a fighting dragon with no worry. Fuck, why couldn’t she have just been a boy? Everything would have been easier. And maybe she would know she was good enough for a dragon.
The mix of confusion, insecurity, and anxiety that swirled through Nerreh’s thoughts seemed to distress the egg, and she felt it’s own apprehension about hatching, bolstered by her own feelings.
“I’m sorry.” She mumbled, pulling her hand away from the smooth surface. Nerreh stared at the egg for another moment, worried, before steeling herself and turning away from it. She couldn’t even touch an egg without upsetting it, why would she ever Impress a dragon? She vaguely headed towards another egg, less sure of everything with each step.
ooc: Touched egg 15: Constellation
word: 'insecure'