Drunken Mumbling [K'ton]

Wine. Lots and lots of wine. That was what Vee had consumes all through dinner and for some time after. She wasn't quite certain why she had decided drinking excessively this evening was a good idea, but it had started dulling the emotional hurt halfway through dinner, and she hadn't bothered to stop. Someone had taken her to her room in the barracks at some point, she had no idea who. She had changed into sleeping clothes at some point and had actually gone to bed. However at some point she had woken, got sick, cleaned herself up and left her room, needing the night air to try and clear her head.

She heard some people nearby as she walked, sounded like they were still enjoying festivities either related to the Turns End or the hatching, either way she made her way through, nicked a skin of wine and wandered off, only partly paying attention to where she was going. Halfway through the wine skin she started crying, her thoughts lost in the miserable mess that her life had turned out to be. True she had her son, but she had already failed at having a second child, failed at Impressing a dragon, hell the only thing she hadn't failed at were her chores. She was fairly depressed and upset with herself, so much so that she had not spent much time with her son that day. Now she was stumbling through the gather square on her way to the huts where the dragonriders lived. She had no business being there, she had no business going where her body and heart were leading her, but as she continued to take swallows of wine, her mind was far to gone between the wine and depressed feelings that she couldn't, or wouldn't, stop herself.

Before she knew it she was standing outside the hut she had almost involuntarily sought out. She had tears streaming down her face, empty wine skin in her hand, no shoes on her feet, and her cotton sleep dress clung to her form. She was an absolute mess and even in her drink induced state she was self conscious about how she looked for him. She backed away from the hut, nearly tripping over herself, turning in order to catch herself she spotted the brightness of a swirling purple and yellow eye. She sniffled and hiccuped softly and moved toward the eye, dropping down beside him. She stared at that great eye for several moments before covering her face with her hands. She couldn't even stand to talk to Ironth as she normally did, he was such a wonderful dragon, she hoped he knew that even if she didn't have words to tell him that at the moment. His rider was wonderful too, even if she didn't have the courage to tell him.

Ironth held himself very still as he watched the woman stagger and stumble her way towards the hut of his bonded. He said nothing as she stopped and turned as she stumbled lightly. He knew she was agitated, knew she was sad and it showed in his quietly whirling purple and yellow eyes. Ironth looked at her gently as she sank to the ground with her hands covering her face, quiet cries breaking his compassionate dragon's heart. One paw slid out to quietly wrap around her as he sent a silent plea for his bonded to come.

K'ton jolted awake as Ironth's gentle voice broke through his sleep haze. K'ton please wake up. She is here and she is sad. She? The only "she" K'ton knew that could create such a mood in Ironth was Vaelya. But he had put a very drunk Vee to bed hours ago so logically she couldn't be here now. She is here now and very distressed, the brown insisted, quite firmly. K'ton sat up and flung his legs over the side of his bed, kicking the night stand in the process. "Damn it!" he shouted as he hopped about on one foot, "who put that sharding thing there?!" A touch of amusement drifted through the distress Ironth was feeling, You did. And please hurry.

K'ton slipped his bruised toes into a pair of beat up shoes and grabbed a light blanket from his bed. Striding from his room he hurried out the front door and down the steps. It didn't take long to reach the little wallow Ironth had dug beside the hut and he feet slowed as he saw his dragon trying in vain to make Vaelya feel better.

The brute had a forepaw wrapped quite delicately around Vee and his eyes whirled quickly with distressing yellows and purples. Thanks Ironth. Don't move okay? K'ton sent to his dragon and received a irritated mental snort. Moving slow, he walked towards her straightening the blanket as he went. He could hear her breathy little cries into her hands and his heart constricted for her. When he came abreast of her he flung the blanket out to settle on her shoulders, and sliding down to kneel beside her he gently touched her shoulder, "Vee?"

The warmth of a giant paw curling around her all but broke her. What she wouldn't give to feel the love of her own dragon, to be cared for so completely. All she had ever wanted, all she still wanted, was to be a dragonrider like her grandmother, to, in some small way, honor her as Vee was certain she had passed on in the Turns since she had been taken from her home. That thought saddened her heart even more to the point she felt she would surely die of the constricting pain in said organ. Strands of hair that she had tried to straighten before, now fell about her face as she leaned into Ironth's warm paw, aware that she indeed must have some of K'ton's affection, for his dragon to care so much about her current state of being, but aware as that as she may have been, it did nothing to ease her upset.

She removed her hands from her face and trailed her fingers over the warm hide of K'ton's dragon, tears still burning her eyes before sliding down wet cheeks. She never heard K'ton exit his hut, never heard his footsteps coming toward her. She only barely registered the blanket being wrapped around her. She did however register the voice in her ear. This wasn't how she had wanted him to see her, drunk off too much wine, sitting barefooted in the dirt with his dragon, looking like a complete lost cause. Quiet, unbidden, sobs caused her shoulders to tremble as she turned away from K'ton, turning into Ironth's paw, even as K'ton touched her shoulder gently.

After a moment she took several deep breaths, to try and calm her sobbing yet again. She hiccuped softly and lifted a hand to her forehead. Between the wine and her continually crying and sobbing, she had given herself a headache, just to add insult to injury. She felt K'ton beside her, registered it, but as much as she wanted to turn to him and seek the comfort of his arms, she couldn't bring herself to do it just yet. That was what she had come here for wasn't it? Comfort from her friend, the only one she really had no thanks to her own stupidity and refusal to mingle with others.

"I...I c-can't..", she whispered softly after a moment, between sniffles and hiccups. What she 'couldn't' was obvious to her, but as well as K'ton new her he might not understand. She couldn't Impress a dragon..she couldn't get up, she couldn't face him. She just...couldn't and it was very unlike her to say there was something she couldn't do. She wasn't the type to give up, but for whatever reason, this entire dragon business had broken her spirit. She wasn't good enough for either of the last gold dragons and who knew when another might hit the sands. She was doomed to a life of drudgery and shame, and she hated it. Finally, after long moments of silence she uttered, "I....I give up..I quit.", and closed her eyes as more silent tears fell hot against her cheeks.

Ironth crooned quietly to the weeping woman cradled in his paw. He could feel the warm of her tears as they hit his hide and his distress heightened and though unseen, his hide had begun to take a decidedly greyish hue. Grey interspersed the yellows and purples that vied for attention in his quickly whirling eyes and they shifted to gaze at his bonded as the man slipped a blanket around the shoulders of the woman. Fingers opened to admit the man.

What could he do? Her tears ate at him, breaking his heart for her just that much more but he was at a loss. It wasn't something new, K'ton never handled tears and weeping well, always unsure of what to do. Did he comfort her with awkward pats on the arm? Did he lie and say everything would be okay? What did he do?! His mouth opened to let loose a string of words but they never came. His arms moved without his knowledge to gather the woman to him. He didn't shush her. He didn't make soothing noises, he only held her as she cried out her heart cradled by him and Ironth.

Finally her cries subsided and K'ton nearly heaved a sigh of relief but held it in check. Then she started to speak and if his heart could shatter it would have. He hadn't realized the depth of her doubt or the fractured confidence that she possessed. He hadn't - and wouldn't unless he could get her to say - known she felt herself flawed and incapable of what she dreamed of the most. What he wouldn't give to put a smile back on her beautiful face.

She thinks she will never impress, Ironth told him quietly, a touch contrite. The brown didn't often eavesdrop on another's thoughts but Vaelya was so loud right now! Its not polite to eavesdrop, Ironth. Especially on our friends, K'ton chastised lightly and the big brown shifted as he murmured softly. "Vaelya.. Vaelya, what are you giving up on?" he asked quietly. He didn't want her to give up on anything. He wanted her to think that the sky was her limit and she could have anything and everything she wanted, but he couldn't say the words because he couldn't be sure that she would have everything she ever wanted.

When he gathered her against him it was just the last thing she expected of him and it tore at something inside her. She had a wall when it came to K'ton, a wall she wanted to keep, to keep their friendship as it was, playful banter, teasing jibes, the occasional stolen kiss. Being held to him this way was a bit startling, and though she was glad for it, she wasn't in the right frame of mind to cope properly and so she turned her face against his chest as her tears fell on him rather than Ironth. Why was she was being so dramatic she didn't know, she generally avoided drama. She blamed the wine, it was completely the wines fault that she was wrapping her arms around her friend, who she felt so much for but refused to show or tell him. At that very moment however, that wall that kept her safe from K'ton started to crumble.

When he responded to her tearful words of defeat she gave a soft cry and shook her head, a mistake as her head was starting to seriously throb. "J-just...every..everything." She said between hiccups. Why did he care so much all of a sudden anyway? He had never cared before, not that she had ever given him much of a chance she supposed. But K'ton didn't care about her that way, so why was he making a show of it now. All he wanted was...we exactly what she did. But she wasn't that foolish, to let that line between them fade away. Her thoughts turned angry for a brief moment, and she frowned, thinking to push away from him. To push away from the comfort she had wanted to seek from him for a long time.  She didn't however and the fire inside subsided as she gave another hiccup.

She did pull her face from him however and dropped it to her hands. Even that movement cause her pain and she groan softly. Suddenly her stomach was churning, her head was swimming, and she hiccuped again. One hiccup too many and within a moment she shoved K'ton away and darted away from both him and Ironth, semi colliding with a tree, clinging to it as she got sick. Too much wine, not enough food, and far too much emotion, apparently did not make ones tummy happy. It didn't take her long to empty the contents of her stomach in the bushes behind the tree. She stumbled back a couple steps, one arm out a bit for stability, her other hand on her stomach. She felt like her head was being stepped on repeatedly by a dragon. She was a complete mess, and as if she had forgotten she had just been comforted by a dragon, and then by said dragons rider, she turned, slightly dizzy and looked at them both like she was shocked they were there.

"I..I....", she took a breath and frowned as if she wanted to cry again and backed away a step. She was extremely embarrassed and quite a bit ashamed as well, and didn't think she could bear one more moment of having a breakdown in front of K'ton. "I...should go..I'm...I'm so sorry..", she said quietly, tears burning her eyes once again as she turned to leave, kicking herself and her wine clouded mind. She wanted to stay, but her pride wouldn't allow her to damage what little bit of dignity she had left. She wouldn't go running to him, she was stronger than that...or thought she had been. Please stop me..., she thought foolishly as she started away, she wasn't even sure in which direction she was going, just...away.

His eyes closed and he breathed her scent in deep as she clung to him, wrapping her slim arms around him as she sobbed against his chest. He would slay her monsters for her if he could. Lay them to waste and carry her away to live in the wild with him and Ironth if it would only make her happy. But he knew, knew without a doubt, that those things would never truly make her as happy as he thought she deserved. No. An impression would make her truly happy. It was always so difficult for those who remained standing at a hatching. Especially when the friends that stood around the clutch of eggs with you impressed. He had been lucky with his own impression. He had impressed Ironth the very first clutch he stood for and had never had to go through the defeat at watching friends impress while he didn't.

"Everything, Vee?" he asked quietly, "You'd give up on the chance? You'd give up on Ironth, me and everyone?" He didn't expect an answer. It was said quietly and he couldn't be sure she actually heard the words. He almost chuckled at the fierce frown that marred her features for but a moment. He knew if he had it was quite likely Vaelya would have lit into him with the ferocity of a wild feline. Especially if she knew he was silently amused at her drunken hangover. Until she shoved him away to dart towards a small clump of trees. She is sick the brown said sagely. Well no kidding, Ironth. I can hear her from here, K'ton rolled his mental eyes at the brown.

He moved quickly, jumping to his feet and moving towards the retching girl. He grimaced in distaste. How he hated to vomit, another reason he rarely drank heavily, and he felt sorry for Vaelya at that moment. He waited until she was finished and no more alcohol came from her before reaching out to touch her. But before he could she was spinning around and backing away from him. Go? Why would she need to go? He doubted she could get to her home without help given the way she ran in the wrong direction. "Vee!" he called as he started after her. Catch her K'ton, before she harms herself, Ironth demanded and K'ton was slightly surprised at the tone his dragon gave him.

He ran after her as she stumbled away. He made quick work as she hadn't really gotten to far away and he gripped her arm. "Vaelya! Don't run away, stay here. Stay with me and let me get you cleaned up," he quietly pleaded, "if you don't Ironth might eat me. You wouldn't want him to eat me would you?" It was all said in jest and he hoped she would laugh softly and say his name in that slightly annoyed but highly amused voice he enjoyed so much.

Safety. That was what K'ton had always meant to her. He was her friend, in some odd sort of way, but he was probably one of the best friends she had ever had. Even though she knew he had really only ever wanted to bed her as he did every other woman in the weyr, he had always been there for her. He was a safe place for her when she was unhappy, or upset. It was why she let herself break down in his arms, why she was only ashamed in the back of her mind. She knew he would take care of her, but he was also likely to relentlessly tease her to no end after she was herself again, and they went back to how they always were. His flirting with her, and her denying him with choice words that dripped in sarcasm. Those things went through her wine addled mind, which was throbbing something fierce.

Would he still want her since she couldn't seem to Impress a dragon? Would he still care when she was nothing but some useless drudge? Could she still look at him without feeling ashamed and useless? She hiccuped several times and shuddered slightly with a sob that she tried to stop. His words ran over her and she tilted her head up slightly so that she could see his face. His handsome face that always held a laugh and a smile for her. His eyes that always betrayed him when he tried to play at being innocent. Those eyes that seemed so full of concern now, would they be filled with concern when she failed yet again and again to Impress?

She parted her lips to answer him, but felt herself becoming sick and that was the moment she had to get away from him. His voice called to her, but the ground seemed to want to drag her down, and her head felt as it a wild wher was using it to sharpen it's teeth. Once her stomach had emptied, she had turned to leave, and hadn't gone very far before K'ton was beside her, asking her to stay. Why did he want her to stay? She frowned slightly and tried to shake her head, but it hurt. She moved to pull away from him, but found herself stopping when he said Ironth would eat him if she didn't stay. She swayed slightly, but something about the blurred image of Ironth eating K'ton brought the faintest laugh from her.

She gave a soft little huff, which wasn't as painful on her head, though the stuttered sniffle she gave after that did. She hiccuped and groaned softly, placing a hand on her flushed cheek as she gave him her best drunken annoyed look. "K'ton", she started, slightly drawn out in an irritated sort of way. "Y-you know as w-well as I, t-tha-t Ironth w-w-would g-get a belly-ache...i-if he ate y-you." She groaned again and placed one hand on her stomach, and clung to him with her other. She wasn't sure there was anything left in her stomach to get rid of, but her stomach started clenching, bringing more tears to her eyes, why she didn't know, but she gave in, and let K'ton lead her off toward his hut. It might not have been the smartest thing to do in her condition, but it would be mid day before she made it back to her room otherwise.

And there it was, the tone he was waiting for. "Indeed he would. After all when someone's this sweet anything would get a bellyache if they ate him," he laughed as he carefully lead her back to his hut. He could see the concerned eyes of his brown gleaming in the darkness and Ironth crooned with assurance towards the woman. The brown adored Vaelya. Probably more than he adored his own rider and it saddened him to see her usually bright face so very sad. You're such a sucker, Ironth, K'ton told his brown silently. He was rewarded with a huff as the glimmering eyes began to shift to sweet calm blues.

A stumble here, a near miss there and K'ton finally got Vaelya up the stairs and into his hut. He looked around with distaste. He knew he should have cleaned the damned thing before the hatching. But it was too late now as he kicked a discarded shirt out of the way. It was slightly embarrassing that she would see his home in such disarray but he was comforted in the fact that she probably wouldn't remember what it looked like.

He settled her in the small cushioned chair in the small reception area and bid her to stay. He wasn't to convinced that she'd actually listen as he turned to rattled around his small kitchenette to find the fixings for klah. Klah would help. It would warm her and wash the horrible taste he knew had to be floating around her mouth. After she drank it up he'd help her wash and get her into the bed. At that thought came an amused feeling from his dragon and he fought not to glare his way. That ridiculous dragon was forever trying to play matchmaker and succeeding though the brown really didn't know that.

Klah steamed in a cup as he moved back to the dark haired woman sitting in his chair. She looked good in that chair. Never mind the mess of her hair or the alcohol reddened cheeks. Her current look was rather endearing and a gentle smile played at the corners of his lips. Crouching beside her he held out the cup, "The klah will help, Vee, but be careful its still pretty hot." Her fingers slid between his as she took the cup, tightening his body most uncomfortably and he cleared his throat. "Don't give up, Vee. Some time soon, some where soon you'll have what you've always wanted," he pleaded with her, "Just. Don't give up."

"Pffffft!!!", she said, and even that seemed a bit slurred, but it ran into a small laugh, so it didn't matter any. "Sour more like it..", she managed to tease as she leaned on him. A silly smile played along her lips as she again caught the spicy scent on him, of leather and dragon. It was one of the most comforting things she had ever smelled. She could stay beside him for hours, just sitting or laying around, just for that scent. To the side she saw Ironth's eyes, and heard him croon, which distracted her from K'ton for a moment. She loved Ironth, he was such a wonderful dragon. That thought broke her heart all over again and she hung her head just a bit. Absently, she snaked an arm around K'ton's waist, for support, as he led her to his hut. She really shouldn't be going into his hut...it would end badly she just knew it. She would pass out, or get sick in his hut. Oh that would just be mortifying...she would never live it down either. K'ton lived to have a reason to tease her, or flirt with her, or kiss her.

Once they were inside however, she no longer cared. It was warm, slightly musty, but all around her it smelled like him. Any time she found herself at K'ton's, there was that smell, it was comforting and welcoming. When he sat her in a chair and demanded she stay put, she lifted one slender eyebrow at him, which turned into a dagger throwing glare at his back when he went off to make Klah. As he rummaged about his kitchen area she pushed herself out of her chair, making a face at his back and she wobbled on her feet slightly before getting some measure of balance. Her head still felt horrible, to match the ache in her now empty belly. She walked toward the window, kicked a shirt on the floor and made a noise of annoyance. Didn't he know how to clean? She shook her head and bent to pick it up, snatching it off the floor and stood up quickly, to avoid the urge to be sick again. She groaned softly and thought that maybe she should have listened, and stayed seated, but who was he to tell her what to do? Men were so pushy! Always had to be right, and always had to be in charge, and just...ugh! She couldn't stand the lot of them half the time!

She had the shirt in both hands and was wringing it as if to get water out of it, though of course it was dry. She was glaring at it for whatever reason, like it was at fault for her current situation. Her stomach cramped and she gave another soft groan and released one hand from the shirt, only to place it on her aching stomach. She huffed softly and was about to admit defeat and head for the chair, when she heard K'ton coming back. She straightened up the best she could, and gave him a look of utter defiance. He had klah for her however, so she couldn't hold a grudge long and moved toward the chair with as much dignity as she could muster, which her inability to walk properly killed almost instantly, but she dared him to say something! Finally she dropped back into the cushioned chair, which was quite comfortable she supposed, not that it mattered, it didn't stop anything from hurting.

She gave a sigh at that thought, comfortable chair or not, her stomach made everything uncomfortable, sitting especially. She took the offered klah however, her fingers touching his as the cup transferred from his hand to hers caused the silliest of feelings. She gave him one of her looks that said she would rather smack him, which worsened when she caught the faintest of smiles on his lips. The klah was indeed hot, and so she blew air on it gently and gave him a much softer look, and for whatever reason, she held the cup in one hand, instead of both, and reached for one of his hands, and laced her fingers through his. She looked from her cup, to their hands, to his face, hoping he wouldn't mind, she just...felt the need to..to what? She didn't know, but she gave a little frown, she hadn't forgot the amused look on his face, though she would by morning she was certain. Did he always have to find amusement with her misery? Why couldn't she just be annoyed with him and walk out? Why had she even come here? Just looking at his face made her emotions run high again, but it was his words that broke her small resolve, her fingers tightened on his and she dropped her gaze from his with the pretense of blowing on the steaming klah again. A tear slid down her cheek after a moment however, unbidden it was, and when she blinked another fell straight from her eye, to her klah. She turned her face away, even though she was already looking down. She didn't let go of his hand however, she needed his strength, needed..something to hang on to. "I...I don't know what else to do...", she whispered softly, feeling as defeated as ever.

His hand tightened around hers when she laced their fingers together. He was patient as he waited for her to speak. He wished he could understand how she felt. How much losing out on impressing felt for her. But it was difficult. He'd never had to worry about it. Never had to feel the pain. And it took a lot for him not to gather her up and hold her close.

The tear streaking down her face horrified him. He'd seen her cry earlier. But it had been dark outside and the sight of her tears had been hidden from his view. In the soft light of his hut, the tears were visible to him and there was nothing he could do. His free hand came up as she turned her face away and his thumb rubbed her cheek dry, "Don't cry Vee. Don't cry. Are you trying to kill me?" He tried for light but his voice broke at the end. She would kill him with her tears.

Her gripe on his hand was tight and painful but he didn't remove his fingers from him. And when she whispered to him he just couldn't take it any long and gather her into his arms. He moved quick, before she could protest, and lifted her gently from the chair to take her place. He settled her sweetly in his lap and wrapped his arms around her. "You go on Vee! You keep trying! Little Mizeath and Wydrith just weren't right for you," he insisted, "There will be other clutches. There will be other dragons. One day soon it'll be your time! You just have to keep your hope."

Ironth crooned at the pair from outside. He could feel both of their distress. K'ton's because K'ton was his, and he felt Vaelya's just as clearly because his rider could feel it and K'ton didn't know what to do about it. All will be well, he spoke to them gently. His eyes had taken a grey tone again at the strength of their feelings on the matter and K'ton fought to control his emotions. He smoothed a hand down her hair before placing a chaste kiss against her temple. "Everything will work out how its supposed to," he said forcibly.