Gifts of Klah [Talian]

Aparicus couldn't help but feel that twist of fear turn her stomach as she stood in the treeline looking out toward the lake.  It wasn't the lake she was looking out at, however, but the back of the familar Master Healer; Talian.  Her leg had long since healed with nothing more than a slight faint line that was so fine one could hardly call it a scar.  In truth, despite the ordeal of having it seen to, the Master Healer had left no mark on her and she'd never had a wound heal so cleanly in her life. 

She wanted to thank him.  She'd wanted to since she'd seen it begin healing so well.  Her friend had tried to reassure her a number of times that Talian had meant no harm that day, that it was a bad memory of a simple misunderstanding.  Apari accepted that explination, but it didn't make approaching the man any easier to give her thanks.

Taking a deep breath, she held it a moment before letting it out shakily and stepping out from the treelinetward where the man sat, facing the lake.  They would be in classes together before the hatching.  She needed to do this.  Long blue skits brushed her ankles and she wore a long sleeved white blouse to match the wide-brimmed white hat that kept the sun off her fair skin that burned easily in the southern sun.

It wasn't words that let the man know she approached, however, but the movement she made to set a fresh cup of Klah and a small pouch within his reach and on his left before moving a little further away, and out of reach, on the other side of the peace offering.  When he opened the pouch, she hoped he'd be pleased to find fresh cinnamon sticks that she knew he'd enjoyed before she'd been too terrified to bring him more.

"Good Morning, Master Talian."  She said, speaking softly as she looked out over the lake. As she took another careful breath.  She wasn't injured and she had to keep reminding herself that as long as she remained uninjured she'd not have the desire..... no, the need... to touch her.  Her friend had stressed that too - that it had been a need, not a desire.  Why couldn't she make her mind remember it that way?

Talian didn't hear Aparicus' approach, or even notice her presence after she'd set the drink down and backed away. He was locked in his thoughts, mind wandering a thousand miles away. He'd been doing an lot of this since coming on the trip. He enjoyed staring at the water while he digested his own thoughts. He liked being so far away from the Weyr, but he didn't like being so close to his classmates. He found it easy to just wander away, put some distance between himself and them so he could drift off into his own little world.

It even took a few seconds for him to realize he'd been spoken to. When he did, his glassy eyes came into focus and he cut them towards Aparicus.

Ah, lovely.

The healer was immediately beset by confusion and indecision, both etched prominently on his young face. He knew he'd done the right thing when he cared for  Apricus' wound. Normally he wouldn't have thought twice about stirring up a trauma like that in order to deal with a real medical situation. Being treated like a rapist, though...that was hard for the young man to swallow.

It was insanely difficult for him not to take it personally, at least in any tangible way. Just looking at her reminded him of his own unpleasant experiences, nevermind the slight feeling of betrayal he felt when she avoided him after. Then again, had it been a less personal issue he wouldn't have cared. He'd have been disappointed, perhaps, but confident that it was worth it for her health. The fact that she'd made him feel like J'ver was borderline unforgivable.

It was stupid, he reminded himself, and smiled.

"Thanks," he said, looking back at the water without bothering to touch the gifts. His appetite was ruined by the memories, if nothing else. He fell silent, not bothering to say much else, for he assumed that she didn't actually have much to say to him. Why would she? She'd been avoiding him, and Talian was too pessimistic to assume that anything had truly changed.

Finding that the healer wasn’t going to be quick moving was actually reassuring to Aparicus.  If he wanted to remain sitting there and not reaching toward her or stand to greet her, well that just meant she’d have more warning should he chose to do so.  Yes, she actually liked the fact that he was more than content to sit there.  Shuffling around her skirts, she sat as well, joining him on the other side of her peace offering.

Keeping her knees bent, she wrapped her arms around them and looked out over the water as the slight breeze ruffled through her hair.  She couldn’t help but be glad that here at the lake it was still a bit warm – warm enough that she could go without a coat or shawl.  Hearing his thank you, she sat there with him quietly for a moment enjoying the scene he had been watching before she finally turned to look at him again and a frown slowly tugged at the corner of his lips.

He didn’t look like he was enjoying the scene.  He didn’t look like he was enjoying it at all now that she’d joined him.  Perhaps she should just leave rather than trying to mend the bridges she’d managed to burn with her unconditional fear…  Perhaps it would more comfortable for him if she did… Ah, but she hated to think that she’d upset anyone.  She certainly didn’t want to make him angry, or leave him angry with her.  Even more, she never wanted to hurt anyone.  There was enough pain in the world, the last thing she ever wanted to do was cause more.

Had she caused him pain that day?  The look of confusion and indecision he had given her before looking at the Klah suggested that she might have…  it was enough to send her off crying to be honest – he’d never been anything but kind and polite (if very professional) to her up until that point.  Yet she remained seated, chewing on her lower lip.  No, she wanted to say that she was sorry – for making him angry or sad or whatever it was that he was feeling after that day.  She was ready for things to go back to how they were.  Kind and professional.  Not… Not cold and distant.  She’d grown to enjoy seeing him in passing as she left fresh flowers around the Healer Hall and missed it.

“Y-you’re welcome.”  She answered slowly, fighting a little of her own turmoil trying to figure out what she needed to do, what she needed to say.  “I’m sorry I haven’t brought you more cinnamon for your Klah sooner.”  She offered in explination of what was in the bag – unsure if it would help at all.  As long as the cup remained untouched, she wasn’t so sure that she was welcome to stay and talk.  What if she was unwelcome?  Would he grow angry at her for staying then?  She knew the way men from home reacted when angry… she didn’t wish to push Talian to that point.

Reaching for anything that might offer a simple conversation, she let her gnarled fingers run through the sand near her feet.  “You know, everyone is talking about the eggs found around here… What do you think about them?  Have you found any?”  She asked slowly, as if testing the waters.  If he gave any hint that he wanted her to stop talking and just go, she’d be off faster than a dragon between.  But… she didn’t really want to go.  Not really.  She wanted to talk to Talian.  She wanted things back to before she’d needed the stitches…

Talian sighed. He had no interest in talking to the girl, but even as he sat and sourly recalled the incident, he couldn't bring himself to actually be angry with her. He knew her problems weren't her fault, or at least probably weren't (he wasn't willing to say that with certainty until he knew more), so it didn't sit well with him to blame her. That didn't mean her presence didn't make him horribly uncomfortable, though.

He didn't like feeling like a monster. He didn't like being reminded of J'ver. He didn't like thinking about any of it, and being near this girl did exactly that. Talian, who was unable to get his mind off of his past and his troubles, would always obsess over anything that gave his mathematical mind the excuse. He thought Aparicus was a sweet girl and he pitied her for whatever had happened, but right now he couldn't stand to be near her.

He kept it to himself aside from a sour scowl. He didn't look towards her as he spoke, but he wasn't going to just sit there and give her the silent treatment. He frowned, exhaling slowly, and combed his thin fingers through his hair.

"It's probably nothing," he said. He admitted that he'd been curious, but he was not a biologist. He couldn't offer them any clearer an answer than anyone else. He had no idea what they were, but outside from passing curiosity, he hardly saw how it mattered.

He reached for the cup of klah and took a sip. It tasted good, and when he felt the warmth in his stomach, it started to calm his nerves just a bit. His hands shook just lightly as he thought of the events of month two, when he'd run into J'ver in the dark that evening. In those moments, he wished he was like B'jin, better able to shut things away. He couldn't look away, so he had to just stare.

He exhaled again and took another long drink. "This is good."

Apari watched the healer’s hands shake as he spoke what few words he did speak and pick up the Klah.  It surprised her a little, that the healer would be cold when she was comfortable.  Normally she was always the first one cold and it usually happened candlemarks before everyone else.  The only other time she shook was when she was fearful, but surely the Master Healer wasn’t afraid of HER!  The idea was almost enough to make the woman herself laugh.

Giving him a smile rather than laughing at the idea in her head outright, she finally pushed herself back up and dusted off her skirt, careful to not get any on the man nearby.  “I’m glad you like it.”  She said, fully honest in the reply.  It was good to be able to give things to people that they liked.  It warmed the heart – and she couldn’t help but hope that the klah would warm his hands.

“Drink it up, Master Healer, there is plenty more where it came from.”  She said with another smile.  “And there should be enough cinnamon sticks there to last you a while.  Besides, you look cold, it will help keep you warm out here.”  After all, she knew.  She was often found with a warm drink in her gnarled hands during the winter months to help keep her warm despite her poor circulation.

Turning, she excused herself and made the slow, quiet walk back to the cooking campfire that she’d made her comfortable residence here at the camp out.  It allowed her to stay sitting far enough out of the way to not bother anyone, but close enough to still overhear the gossip about the eggs.  After all, she was curious, having one in a jar of warm sand nearby and she made a point of warming it near the fire whenever the sand started to cool – she’d stolen the idea from another candidate and with the egg not yet smelling rotten she could only hope it was working.


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