11.Sep.12, 02:34 AM
Ronarth's head shot up like an eager canine. He snapped at the meat, catching it awkwardly before tossing it back into his mouth. There wasn't very much of it, so the dragon decided the best thing to do would be to chew it for as long as possible. That served as the perfect distraction for the topic now at hand, which didn't rouse any sort of suspicion from I'shan, but earned a quiet whirl of yellow in Ilveriath's eyes.
I'shan glanced towards Sanderon, surprised but beyond pleased by the uncharacteristic, indeed unexpected change of heart. "Hm," he said, crossing his arms and rocking back against the dragon's neck. "I don't know if I really do much," he said. "I..." Wow, that was a broad topic. The bluerider's enthusiasm wavered when he realized how much he could potentially talk about...and how little of it was positive.
There was Farlint, who might never walk again. There was N'gelt, who ignored him. There was B'jin, who'd become afraid of him. Then there was Erisi, Ishadhe, R'nd....it was a lot. I'shan hadn't really stepped back and viewed the big picture, instead choosing to look at each little incident in a vacuum. Okay, so he was a failure as a father. Check. His weyrmate had run his friend off. Check.
How, as he glanced over the whole mess, he couldn't help but frown.
"I guess it's been day to day stuff since the plague," he muttered. He felt a very sudden, very acute sense of homesickness. He'd been so pleased by the unification of Katila and so happy to have something resembling civilization again that he'd never stopped to question it before. He'd been petty, frivolous, living day to day. He'd always lived day to day. Maybe that's why his problems seemed so small when they were isolated. He could ignore one thing.
He swallowed his discontent and let out a beaming grin. "I dunno, though. I mean, I have a lot to be thankful for...I was just a teenager when the plague hit. My mom died the same turn, and almost none of the dragons as young as Ilv was made it across the sea...and I dunno, I'm kind of a wimp. Somehow, we survived through all that, so...I guess I'm jusy happy to be here, no matter what happens."
It was an honest, candid answer that he thought hard about. It was also not exactly an answer to Sanderon's question.
I'shan glanced towards Sanderon, surprised but beyond pleased by the uncharacteristic, indeed unexpected change of heart. "Hm," he said, crossing his arms and rocking back against the dragon's neck. "I don't know if I really do much," he said. "I..." Wow, that was a broad topic. The bluerider's enthusiasm wavered when he realized how much he could potentially talk about...and how little of it was positive.
There was Farlint, who might never walk again. There was N'gelt, who ignored him. There was B'jin, who'd become afraid of him. Then there was Erisi, Ishadhe, R'nd....it was a lot. I'shan hadn't really stepped back and viewed the big picture, instead choosing to look at each little incident in a vacuum. Okay, so he was a failure as a father. Check. His weyrmate had run his friend off. Check.
How, as he glanced over the whole mess, he couldn't help but frown.
"I guess it's been day to day stuff since the plague," he muttered. He felt a very sudden, very acute sense of homesickness. He'd been so pleased by the unification of Katila and so happy to have something resembling civilization again that he'd never stopped to question it before. He'd been petty, frivolous, living day to day. He'd always lived day to day. Maybe that's why his problems seemed so small when they were isolated. He could ignore one thing.
He swallowed his discontent and let out a beaming grin. "I dunno, though. I mean, I have a lot to be thankful for...I was just a teenager when the plague hit. My mom died the same turn, and almost none of the dragons as young as Ilv was made it across the sea...and I dunno, I'm kind of a wimp. Somehow, we survived through all that, so...I guess I'm jusy happy to be here, no matter what happens."
It was an honest, candid answer that he thought hard about. It was also not exactly an answer to Sanderon's question.