31.Aug.12, 01:48 AM
I'shan ran his fingers through his hair and huffed. "Sorry about that. Ilv is being a wher," he muttered as he slipped back into his previous position on the floor. His uncertain, wide-eyed expression gradually softened to a more relaxed one. He didn't mean the petty insult that he'd slung at his dragon. He often said things he didn't mean in the heat of the moment, but for now, he was just venting some steam.
His expression brightened at mention of the food. "Thanks. It's one of my mother's recipes. I cant make it like she did, though...we don't usually have the right ingredients down here," he said. He rested his elbow on the bedside and put his face in his palm. "I've found some pretty good substitutions, though." His gentle, casual tone suggested that he was either in danger of rambling or deep in daydreams or thought; possibly both.
He never could talk about recipes without talking about his mother. A wistful, sad look washed over him. "...I am glad you like it, though." He perked up when Sanderon offered to share. "...Really?" he said, unbelieving.
Sanderon;s next question mimicked his own. He couldn't imagine why Sanderon was even bothering to talk to him. He let out a weak little laugh. "Well, I'm not gonna lie...I was pissed about that," he said, almost teasing, though gently.
He was struggling to fend off the innate seriousness of the situation. I'shan hid behind humor and immaturity to eep unpleasant realities at bay. It was how he functioned. The question really was unavoidable, though. He hung his head in defeat.
"Look. When this searching thing started, the Weyrleader picked out his favorites from the search-sensitive dragons. I guess I probably could have declined, but that would be a good way to be on the bottom of the pecking order forever," he mumbled. "And I dunno...I've never really contributed to anything. Never been good at anything as far as THIS place goes...and I dunno. When the dragons came for me when I was a kid, it was the best thing ever. It was like a dream come true. So I guess I never thought about the bad side of it..."
He grunted in dismay. "I've been just...oh so sucessful, Sanderon." He once again averted his eyes, ashamed to look directly at the boy who he'd plucked away from his life. "Erisi hates me, and man...I have....not handled that gracefully." His tone was heavy with guilt. "Valerian doesn't seem to know I exist, which is fine I guess...but Farlint is the one that bothers me the most."
Poor Farlint. Nothing would ever erase that from his mind.
"Far loved it. He's awesome, really...but...well, he sort of turned out like a little brother to me. He always helped me wash Ilv and we'd go drinking in the evenings...but he got mauled at the hatching. The same one Erisi Impressed a green at." Another sigh. "Far got messed up pretty bad. Leg shattered, bone ripped clear out of his skin. They don't know if he'll ever be right, and..."
It's all my fault
He held his breath for a moment. "I don't search anymore."
His expression brightened at mention of the food. "Thanks. It's one of my mother's recipes. I cant make it like she did, though...we don't usually have the right ingredients down here," he said. He rested his elbow on the bedside and put his face in his palm. "I've found some pretty good substitutions, though." His gentle, casual tone suggested that he was either in danger of rambling or deep in daydreams or thought; possibly both.
He never could talk about recipes without talking about his mother. A wistful, sad look washed over him. "...I am glad you like it, though." He perked up when Sanderon offered to share. "...Really?" he said, unbelieving.
Sanderon;s next question mimicked his own. He couldn't imagine why Sanderon was even bothering to talk to him. He let out a weak little laugh. "Well, I'm not gonna lie...I was pissed about that," he said, almost teasing, though gently.
He was struggling to fend off the innate seriousness of the situation. I'shan hid behind humor and immaturity to eep unpleasant realities at bay. It was how he functioned. The question really was unavoidable, though. He hung his head in defeat.
"Look. When this searching thing started, the Weyrleader picked out his favorites from the search-sensitive dragons. I guess I probably could have declined, but that would be a good way to be on the bottom of the pecking order forever," he mumbled. "And I dunno...I've never really contributed to anything. Never been good at anything as far as THIS place goes...and I dunno. When the dragons came for me when I was a kid, it was the best thing ever. It was like a dream come true. So I guess I never thought about the bad side of it..."
He grunted in dismay. "I've been just...oh so sucessful, Sanderon." He once again averted his eyes, ashamed to look directly at the boy who he'd plucked away from his life. "Erisi hates me, and man...I have....not handled that gracefully." His tone was heavy with guilt. "Valerian doesn't seem to know I exist, which is fine I guess...but Farlint is the one that bothers me the most."
Poor Farlint. Nothing would ever erase that from his mind.
"Far loved it. He's awesome, really...but...well, he sort of turned out like a little brother to me. He always helped me wash Ilv and we'd go drinking in the evenings...but he got mauled at the hatching. The same one Erisi Impressed a green at." Another sigh. "Far got messed up pretty bad. Leg shattered, bone ripped clear out of his skin. They don't know if he'll ever be right, and..."
It's all my fault
He held his breath for a moment. "I don't search anymore."