27.Jul.12, 06:16 AM
What a night.
Talian trudged along slowly, his feet dragging beneath him and his heart dragging even further behind. His mind was alight with trauma and discovery, but also drearily slow and heavy. It was like walking through a fog bank; he knew where he wanted to go, but he was confused and hesitant when it came to actually getting there.
Had this night been real?
He ached. His body ached, his mind ached, his heart ached...every part of him was spent and shattered. He looked up at the lightening sky and shook his head. He wasn't surprised at how much time had passed. It seemed like a lifetime, but six hours or so seemed about right.
Talian wasn't sure what to do with himself after his run-in with J'ver. The incident was still horridly fresh in the young healer's mind, burning like torchlight. He could still remember the greenrider's warm breath, his scent, his cold, peering eyes...
The healer shuddered as he approached B'jin's hut. He wondered for a moment if he'd wandered there idly, as he first thought he had, or if his subconscious took him there, as he wanted to think it had.
He didn't need to tell B'jin, did he? B'jin was burdened enough with guilt and other hardships. Telling anyone wouldn't make it all right. Even now, Talian's skin crawled with remembrance. He'd heard the comparison to being dirty before, like he needed a bath. He understood the comparison now.
Did he smell like J'ver? He thought he did. What did J'ver smell like?
Would people know when they looked at him? Would the shame bleed through to the outside? Would they see it in his eyes?
What would B'jin think? Would he be ashamed? Ashamed of how poorly Tal had handled the situation?
He was ashamed. He was horrified. He was sad. But in a weird way, he was all right. He'd survived. But more than anything else in the world, he wished he had someone he loved to hold on to.
Even at Katila, the worst place in the world, he had at least that. He knocked again.
Talian trudged along slowly, his feet dragging beneath him and his heart dragging even further behind. His mind was alight with trauma and discovery, but also drearily slow and heavy. It was like walking through a fog bank; he knew where he wanted to go, but he was confused and hesitant when it came to actually getting there.
Had this night been real?
He ached. His body ached, his mind ached, his heart ached...every part of him was spent and shattered. He looked up at the lightening sky and shook his head. He wasn't surprised at how much time had passed. It seemed like a lifetime, but six hours or so seemed about right.
Talian wasn't sure what to do with himself after his run-in with J'ver. The incident was still horridly fresh in the young healer's mind, burning like torchlight. He could still remember the greenrider's warm breath, his scent, his cold, peering eyes...
The healer shuddered as he approached B'jin's hut. He wondered for a moment if he'd wandered there idly, as he first thought he had, or if his subconscious took him there, as he wanted to think it had.
He didn't need to tell B'jin, did he? B'jin was burdened enough with guilt and other hardships. Telling anyone wouldn't make it all right. Even now, Talian's skin crawled with remembrance. He'd heard the comparison to being dirty before, like he needed a bath. He understood the comparison now.
Did he smell like J'ver? He thought he did. What did J'ver smell like?
Would people know when they looked at him? Would the shame bleed through to the outside? Would they see it in his eyes?
What would B'jin think? Would he be ashamed? Ashamed of how poorly Tal had handled the situation?
He was ashamed. He was horrified. He was sad. But in a weird way, he was all right. He'd survived. But more than anything else in the world, he wished he had someone he loved to hold on to.
Even at Katila, the worst place in the world, he had at least that. He knocked again.