12.Dec.20, 04:15 AM
There had been a time when he wished he was a Lord as well, feeling connected to the way of life he saw at his aunt’s and the way he had assumed relationships worked in Holds. But he wouldn’t have Syrendryth and he probably wouldn’t have met Cazan because his luck swung from one extreme to the other and somehow they wouldn’t cross paths at the right time. But maybe they could still convince her mother he was from a good line and he was a good match for Cazan despite where he was actually born.
But that thought was abruptly ended when Cazan started freaking out about Yfris… and G’nen… and Kor’is. He’d forgotten about her lovers and winner and winced slightly. At this point, T’ryn just found it funny how his words of encouragement to have fun had been followed and he didn’t mind. He especially didn’t mind that she had lovers now that he was sneaking around with Zelana. But in that moment, he was strongly reminded of the chance that two of them could also be vying for title of father and how he was at fault for all of it regardless.
What if he wasn’t the father? What if he was? T’ryn was still wavering on a thin point of figuring out where he sat on the issue. He was terrified, not at all ready to be a dad! This wasn’t a part of any plans he had for the next several years at least, but like he told his wonderful girlfriend, he was happy the surprise was with her. If he had to plan children into his life, they would be done with Cazan at his side. But if the baby wasn’t his but one of her lovers? He stayed silent as he thought, happy to hold Cazan and let her know he was still there and not running away even with those men mentioned. Finally, “it doesn’t matter, Cazan. I’ll be the father to that baby no matter who the actual one is.”
Then he sighed and added softly, “I’m so sorry, Cazan. This is my fault. When I was with Ca…sual lover, she had trips between sorted out on her own,” damn Zelly for making Casa’s name so easy on his tongue again when talking about sex! But he doubted Cazan would notice anything amiss with her current distraught state. “And then when we started having sex, I knew your between classes were starting soon and then the Flight happened so I figured Malvayth would at least be okay with Yanth taking you on trips. I should have asked. I should have clarified. I should have talked with Mal so she would understand.” So many should haves that he couldn’t change now and T’ryn waited for the anger that he deserved.
But that thought was abruptly ended when Cazan started freaking out about Yfris… and G’nen… and Kor’is. He’d forgotten about her lovers and winner and winced slightly. At this point, T’ryn just found it funny how his words of encouragement to have fun had been followed and he didn’t mind. He especially didn’t mind that she had lovers now that he was sneaking around with Zelana. But in that moment, he was strongly reminded of the chance that two of them could also be vying for title of father and how he was at fault for all of it regardless.
What if he wasn’t the father? What if he was? T’ryn was still wavering on a thin point of figuring out where he sat on the issue. He was terrified, not at all ready to be a dad! This wasn’t a part of any plans he had for the next several years at least, but like he told his wonderful girlfriend, he was happy the surprise was with her. If he had to plan children into his life, they would be done with Cazan at his side. But if the baby wasn’t his but one of her lovers? He stayed silent as he thought, happy to hold Cazan and let her know he was still there and not running away even with those men mentioned. Finally, “it doesn’t matter, Cazan. I’ll be the father to that baby no matter who the actual one is.”
Then he sighed and added softly, “I’m so sorry, Cazan. This is my fault. When I was with Ca…sual lover, she had trips between sorted out on her own,” damn Zelly for making Casa’s name so easy on his tongue again when talking about sex! But he doubted Cazan would notice anything amiss with her current distraught state. “And then when we started having sex, I knew your between classes were starting soon and then the Flight happened so I figured Malvayth would at least be okay with Yanth taking you on trips. I should have asked. I should have clarified. I should have talked with Mal so she would understand.” So many should haves that he couldn’t change now and T’ryn waited for the anger that he deserved.