09.Jan.20, 03:51 AM
The silence was deafening as she watched T'ryn and waited for his response. Her heart was pounding in her ears, she was running through so many scenarios in her head for how he could possibly react. Most of them went very poorly for her. He could try to blackmail her for his silence (highly unlikely but still a possibility that she had to consider), tell everyone who she really was, get her thrown out of the Weyr for the deception, he could hate her and never want to see her again. That last one terrified her more than she cared to admit.
Cazan cringed when he mentioned the deceit, it was her fault, she was the one who had made the conversation about that rather than just the blowjob, she deserved this sting. With how this was going she was glad she stopped where she had when they were kissing. She couldn't imagine how much worse this would be if they'd carried on for more. "I didn't want to hurt you... and I know that doesn't matter. I'm sorry. It's not really something I would take back even if I could considering, but I wish we could have met under better circumstances. Maybe you could have met the real Cazelarias, and he could have still introduced us. I don't know. It probably wouldn't have been the same."
And that was true. She wouldn't have gotten to spend time with T'ryn if she hadn't come to the Weyr like she had, setting up shop in the guise of her brother. He wouldn't have brought her plates of food, or let her make amazing things. Cazan wasn't expecting to hear him say that he would keep her secret. Her eyes widened in surprise as she watched him hopefully, her eyes shining and on the verge of tears from the gesture. "Thank you so much, T'ryn. I know you don't have to. I'll have to make you something else as a thank you."
She had thought that would be the most nerve wracking part of the talk, but she still was anxious even knowing that her secret was still safe. Cazan watched T'ryn nervously, her face growing ever more flushed. "And I'm sorry that I got drunk and offered to... have fun with you. I had a hangover and I thought that the wine would help me get some work done. I still enjoyed it though. With you." Her face became even brighter red as she continued, "I liked the kissing more. I'll understand if you don't want to. Or even if you don't want anything to do with me anymore."
Cazan cringed when he mentioned the deceit, it was her fault, she was the one who had made the conversation about that rather than just the blowjob, she deserved this sting. With how this was going she was glad she stopped where she had when they were kissing. She couldn't imagine how much worse this would be if they'd carried on for more. "I didn't want to hurt you... and I know that doesn't matter. I'm sorry. It's not really something I would take back even if I could considering, but I wish we could have met under better circumstances. Maybe you could have met the real Cazelarias, and he could have still introduced us. I don't know. It probably wouldn't have been the same."
And that was true. She wouldn't have gotten to spend time with T'ryn if she hadn't come to the Weyr like she had, setting up shop in the guise of her brother. He wouldn't have brought her plates of food, or let her make amazing things. Cazan wasn't expecting to hear him say that he would keep her secret. Her eyes widened in surprise as she watched him hopefully, her eyes shining and on the verge of tears from the gesture. "Thank you so much, T'ryn. I know you don't have to. I'll have to make you something else as a thank you."
She had thought that would be the most nerve wracking part of the talk, but she still was anxious even knowing that her secret was still safe. Cazan watched T'ryn nervously, her face growing ever more flushed. "And I'm sorry that I got drunk and offered to... have fun with you. I had a hangover and I thought that the wine would help me get some work done. I still enjoyed it though. With you." Her face became even brighter red as she continued, "I liked the kissing more. I'll understand if you don't want to. Or even if you don't want anything to do with me anymore."