04.Jan.20, 07:04 PM
Narinoa didn’t realise he was crying until long after the kind dragonet vanished from his mind. He stood still, hand never moving from the egg until he felt a tear hit his arm, grabbing his attention just enough to look down and stare at the wet spot. He finally shook himself free and wiped at his eyes while walking away. Still, he kept glancing back at the egg, wondering how it could learn so much from him so quickly.
Even he wasn’t aware of how he viewed others and trust as a whole. It wasn’t that he couldn’t trust anyone at all—he’d never be able to interact with anyone in the ways that he did—but he supposed it was a surface-level trust. He could trust someone during sex, he could trust L’gan in his Healing skills and to be a good partner when checking on the weyrlings, and he could even trust Casa not to poison him when he asked for drugs. But something deeper? He wasn’t ready for that. That gave away so much about himself and left him vulnerable. He didn’t want that kind of commitment with someone. Keeping everything a bit on the shallow side and where everyone was having fun was all he wanted.
Damn but he hated the nosy dragonets. He was doing just fine not thinking about trust issues he may have had or how he only let people get so close before holding them at bay. But now that was all he could think about as he vacantly stared at the gold eggs across the way. Obviously he wasn’t going to Touch those ones and he didn’t really notice how the girls were doing, but they were a better distraction than the drab eggs he was surrounded by.
He supposed he should go after one more egg to make it look like he was trying and maybe it would erase everything the last egg brought up. He could hope. But hey, he wasn’t running outside to vomit, so that was something.
Sighing, he glanced to his side, saw a vacant egg, and laid his hand on it. It was only given half of his attention and his heart wasn’t really in it so he could only imagine what laid in store for him.
Egg 14.
Even he wasn’t aware of how he viewed others and trust as a whole. It wasn’t that he couldn’t trust anyone at all—he’d never be able to interact with anyone in the ways that he did—but he supposed it was a surface-level trust. He could trust someone during sex, he could trust L’gan in his Healing skills and to be a good partner when checking on the weyrlings, and he could even trust Casa not to poison him when he asked for drugs. But something deeper? He wasn’t ready for that. That gave away so much about himself and left him vulnerable. He didn’t want that kind of commitment with someone. Keeping everything a bit on the shallow side and where everyone was having fun was all he wanted.
Damn but he hated the nosy dragonets. He was doing just fine not thinking about trust issues he may have had or how he only let people get so close before holding them at bay. But now that was all he could think about as he vacantly stared at the gold eggs across the way. Obviously he wasn’t going to Touch those ones and he didn’t really notice how the girls were doing, but they were a better distraction than the drab eggs he was surrounded by.
He supposed he should go after one more egg to make it look like he was trying and maybe it would erase everything the last egg brought up. He could hope. But hey, he wasn’t running outside to vomit, so that was something.
Sighing, he glanced to his side, saw a vacant egg, and laid his hand on it. It was only given half of his attention and his heart wasn’t really in it so he could only imagine what laid in store for him.
Egg 14.