17.Jun.14, 03:31 AM
Of course R’nya was awake! The man always knew everything that was happening and had perfect timing regardless of the situation so it figured he would be coherent and able to get up and move around – on her behalf. Her stupidity and touches had likely woken him but instead of pretending he was asleep, going back to sleep, or asking her to leave, he got up and found her clothes. R’nya was always thinking of her and the other girls he had decided to be the guardian of for whatever reason and it seemed like that was never going to change.
What did change, was his tone of voice. He had always had a formal way of speaking and while it was odd, Rhaedalyn had always enjoyed it at the same time. It fit the bronzerider and she never teased him about it anymore. However, even with his speech being formal, it still had a degree of warmth to it and this time, that was definitely missing. He had addressed her twice in a matter of minutes but only by a title. Sure, her name accompanied the second usage and R’nya had a habit of calling all the girls ‘my lady’ here and there but this was different and Rhaedalyn hated it.
Without warning, she burst into tears, sobbing less than eloquently under the flimsy cloth. “I’m not a lady, R’nya,” she managed through the sobs and sniffled as she sat up. She was of low-born status and barely managed to make anything edible or wearable. Her best hope back at Telgar was for a farmer’s second or third son to want her or if extremely lucky, maybe a guard. She’d likely have ended up in the kitchen somewhere, chopping vegetables when she wasn’t in the pregnancy bed no matter who ended up feeling sorry enough for her. Even now, Impressing a gold dragon didn’t elevate her that much and while R’nya, R’nd, and a few others, always had manners and addressed all women by that title, Rhaedalyn knew that S’kef stripping away the rank of Weyrwoman and calling all goldriders ‘lady’ was just for show.
“I’m just Rhaedalyn. Like always.” She sniffled again and wiped away the tears on the sheet that was now wrapped under her arms to keep some sort of modesty. Because she was ‘just Rhaedalyn’ that meant she was spectacular at messing up and earning random pity. The pity didn’t happen often but most days she wondered if that was why R’nya always helped her. He had found her clothes because he knew she wouldn’t be able to and was now offering to leave his own room –his rummaging around made that clear– so she would feel comfortable in preparing herself to leave.
Suddenly, she really didn’t want to leave. The bed had been comfortable and safe. Outside, everyone waited. They all knew she had slept with R’nya for the flight and Rhaedalyn was terrified of Z’ia’s reaction. He was a bluerider so she knew he’d understand on some level just like she was bound to have to be tolerant of Aveleth flying greens here and there. Still, his reaction wasn’t something Rhaedalyn wanted to see. Everyone else would look at her differently for several days as well but most did anyway because of her hair or body shape or odd personality. R’nya was a friend that she always trusted and felt safe with and now she had managed to kick him out of his own bed without meaning to and he seemed so distant and cold now.
“I’m sorry, R’nya. This is your room, isn’t it? I should be the one leaving,” modesty didn’t matter anymore as the sheet was thrown aside so Rhaedalyn could get to her feet. She was tired from it having already been a long day with battling Aradissicath’s mood and her own mood swings while tending to chores and it took a moment to make sure she had her balance before finding her slip.
“I… I hope I didn’t upset you too much. I mistook you… for Z’ia,” she began the hesitant explanation of everything as she battled with the slip and finally managed to get it on but only stared at the dress she had picked up. “And then I didn’t want to presume on the kindness you always show me by… stealing cuddles.” She was so lame! Not to mention a bit contradictory. She wanted to stay in bed with R’nya but was terrified Z’ia would be upset over it.
Instead of going to the door like she meant to do so she could sneak out before R’nya did so he wouldn’t have to leave his own room, Rhaedalyn deflated and ended up sitting on the edge of the bed with her back to the door and bronzerider. She still held her dress but now it was being used to dab at her eyes that wouldn’t stop crying. Z’ia was so understanding and caring that she was certain he’d continue to be now but there was always a fear she’d one day find his breaking point. Everyone had one and she hadn’t found the bluerider’s yet. R’nya was hard to read but Rhaedalyn was usually confident he was genuine when her belief he did it all out of pity for her pathetic self wasn’t taking over.
Now, however, she wasn’t sure anymore since she had somehow upset the bronzerider. “Please don’t be mad. Don’t hate me,” the words were barely above a whisper that was muffled into her dress that she had her face pressed against. Flights certainly had their fun moments to them but Rhaedalyn didn’t like the after affects all that much and was wishing for a do-over. You can have that when I next fly, Aradissicath chimed in, still in her good mood now that she had flown and been won by the dragon she had hoped for, even though Xyreith did seem a bit distracted now.
What did change, was his tone of voice. He had always had a formal way of speaking and while it was odd, Rhaedalyn had always enjoyed it at the same time. It fit the bronzerider and she never teased him about it anymore. However, even with his speech being formal, it still had a degree of warmth to it and this time, that was definitely missing. He had addressed her twice in a matter of minutes but only by a title. Sure, her name accompanied the second usage and R’nya had a habit of calling all the girls ‘my lady’ here and there but this was different and Rhaedalyn hated it.
Without warning, she burst into tears, sobbing less than eloquently under the flimsy cloth. “I’m not a lady, R’nya,” she managed through the sobs and sniffled as she sat up. She was of low-born status and barely managed to make anything edible or wearable. Her best hope back at Telgar was for a farmer’s second or third son to want her or if extremely lucky, maybe a guard. She’d likely have ended up in the kitchen somewhere, chopping vegetables when she wasn’t in the pregnancy bed no matter who ended up feeling sorry enough for her. Even now, Impressing a gold dragon didn’t elevate her that much and while R’nya, R’nd, and a few others, always had manners and addressed all women by that title, Rhaedalyn knew that S’kef stripping away the rank of Weyrwoman and calling all goldriders ‘lady’ was just for show.
“I’m just Rhaedalyn. Like always.” She sniffled again and wiped away the tears on the sheet that was now wrapped under her arms to keep some sort of modesty. Because she was ‘just Rhaedalyn’ that meant she was spectacular at messing up and earning random pity. The pity didn’t happen often but most days she wondered if that was why R’nya always helped her. He had found her clothes because he knew she wouldn’t be able to and was now offering to leave his own room –his rummaging around made that clear– so she would feel comfortable in preparing herself to leave.
Suddenly, she really didn’t want to leave. The bed had been comfortable and safe. Outside, everyone waited. They all knew she had slept with R’nya for the flight and Rhaedalyn was terrified of Z’ia’s reaction. He was a bluerider so she knew he’d understand on some level just like she was bound to have to be tolerant of Aveleth flying greens here and there. Still, his reaction wasn’t something Rhaedalyn wanted to see. Everyone else would look at her differently for several days as well but most did anyway because of her hair or body shape or odd personality. R’nya was a friend that she always trusted and felt safe with and now she had managed to kick him out of his own bed without meaning to and he seemed so distant and cold now.
“I’m sorry, R’nya. This is your room, isn’t it? I should be the one leaving,” modesty didn’t matter anymore as the sheet was thrown aside so Rhaedalyn could get to her feet. She was tired from it having already been a long day with battling Aradissicath’s mood and her own mood swings while tending to chores and it took a moment to make sure she had her balance before finding her slip.
“I… I hope I didn’t upset you too much. I mistook you… for Z’ia,” she began the hesitant explanation of everything as she battled with the slip and finally managed to get it on but only stared at the dress she had picked up. “And then I didn’t want to presume on the kindness you always show me by… stealing cuddles.” She was so lame! Not to mention a bit contradictory. She wanted to stay in bed with R’nya but was terrified Z’ia would be upset over it.
Instead of going to the door like she meant to do so she could sneak out before R’nya did so he wouldn’t have to leave his own room, Rhaedalyn deflated and ended up sitting on the edge of the bed with her back to the door and bronzerider. She still held her dress but now it was being used to dab at her eyes that wouldn’t stop crying. Z’ia was so understanding and caring that she was certain he’d continue to be now but there was always a fear she’d one day find his breaking point. Everyone had one and she hadn’t found the bluerider’s yet. R’nya was hard to read but Rhaedalyn was usually confident he was genuine when her belief he did it all out of pity for her pathetic self wasn’t taking over.
Now, however, she wasn’t sure anymore since she had somehow upset the bronzerider. “Please don’t be mad. Don’t hate me,” the words were barely above a whisper that was muffled into her dress that she had her face pressed against. Flights certainly had their fun moments to them but Rhaedalyn didn’t like the after affects all that much and was wishing for a do-over. You can have that when I next fly, Aradissicath chimed in, still in her good mood now that she had flown and been won by the dragon she had hoped for, even though Xyreith did seem a bit distracted now.