13.Jul.13, 06:57 PM
Kira was unnerved by the way he looked at her when she said she was going to go. He had been astounded by her lack of care about her bloodline (how likely was she to ever marry even a cousin or nephew?), but the drudge didn't much care about his reaction. She didn't really like him! But there was something else. She paused, waiting for him to find what he wanted to tell her in his books.
It took a few moments for the news to sink in, and suddenly she heard a ringing in her ears. "What?!" Kira gasped, sinking back down into the chair. Her hands were trembling so badly that she almost couldn't hold the book. Falon, a father? HER Falon? There had to be some mistake. She leaned over to look and read it for herself, a whimper escaping when she saw it was true. How could it be? Kira wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear. She couldn't, though. She was trapped here, in the library, because if she left then she would risk seeing Falon and right now Kira simply couldn't manage that. He had promised her! He had sworn that children weren't that important, that they could wait a bit before starting a family, try to move past her fears about it all. Had it all been a lie?
Closing her eyes to try and compose herself, Kira breathed deeply. She had to do something.
....But what?
She couldn't marry Falon now. Not when she knew this about him. Could she? "Who els-se would have m-me?" Kira asked quietly, her eyes going to Warkhim's. "S-say what you wan-nt about marrying higher, but n-none of them-m would be so foolish as-s to m-marry a stutt-tering drudge." She was flawed. She could read, she wanted an education desperately, and she stuttered. Nothing about her was marriageable material. A man who had a by-blow was the most that she could hope for, when all was said and done.
And to top it off, Kira didn't want to marry. Not a single fiber in her desired it, because marriage meant sex, and sex meant... She cut herself off there. There was no use lingering on those thoughts. But she had to, eventually, because if she didn't, she would be an outcast. Her time was running out to put it off. What choices did she have? Warkhim seemed to have an opinion on what she should do, but Kira wasn't about to accept it without a challenge. Child or no, Falon at least treated her decently, and that was more than she could say about half the men she had ever met.
It took a few moments for the news to sink in, and suddenly she heard a ringing in her ears. "What?!" Kira gasped, sinking back down into the chair. Her hands were trembling so badly that she almost couldn't hold the book. Falon, a father? HER Falon? There had to be some mistake. She leaned over to look and read it for herself, a whimper escaping when she saw it was true. How could it be? Kira wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear. She couldn't, though. She was trapped here, in the library, because if she left then she would risk seeing Falon and right now Kira simply couldn't manage that. He had promised her! He had sworn that children weren't that important, that they could wait a bit before starting a family, try to move past her fears about it all. Had it all been a lie?
Closing her eyes to try and compose herself, Kira breathed deeply. She had to do something.
....But what?
She couldn't marry Falon now. Not when she knew this about him. Could she? "Who els-se would have m-me?" Kira asked quietly, her eyes going to Warkhim's. "S-say what you wan-nt about marrying higher, but n-none of them-m would be so foolish as-s to m-marry a stutt-tering drudge." She was flawed. She could read, she wanted an education desperately, and she stuttered. Nothing about her was marriageable material. A man who had a by-blow was the most that she could hope for, when all was said and done.
And to top it off, Kira didn't want to marry. Not a single fiber in her desired it, because marriage meant sex, and sex meant... She cut herself off there. There was no use lingering on those thoughts. But she had to, eventually, because if she didn't, she would be an outcast. Her time was running out to put it off. What choices did she have? Warkhim seemed to have an opinion on what she should do, but Kira wasn't about to accept it without a challenge. Child or no, Falon at least treated her decently, and that was more than she could say about half the men she had ever met.