Hello loves! While I haven't been writing, I have been working on updating some issues that have been hanging around on the layout! The Character change box is now at the bottom of the page, beside the up/down arrows! Green and Gold dragon flight dates have been shifted to the bottom of the page, where the (useless!) discord widget was located. Where the dragon flights were in the header, is now replaced by a Monthly Event box! This will be updated at the start of each month, with a fun mini-event you can take part in, if you want to! Thistle!
11.Jan.13, 03:46 AM
He had made B’jin cry! R’nd was horrified he had done that and it showed clearly on his easily read face. How could he hurt such a sweet man? He really did ruin everything he touched. R’nd wondered why he needed everyone to like him and keep so many people in his life, even if only at an extremely casual level, if he would end up hurting them. This was another reason why B’jin deserved better. Naturally, a part of R’nd believed there wasn’t anyone better than him and he was the best man to be by B’jin’s side but there were far too many signs to the contrary. As was becoming the norm while with the greenrider, R’nd was at a loss of what to do – what was allowed and what would be appreciated? Deciding it didn’t matter anymore when he upset B’jin in some way, R’nd pulled his hand away from B’jin’s and dared to cup both of his lover’s cheeks, thumbs stroking gently over the smooth surface to wipe away the tears. He could still recall the first time he made such a move and the flinch that followed as B’jin believed he was about to be struck. N’mall was the true horrible man thanks to the treatment he gave others.
“Oh, love. Please don’t cry. My heart breaks every time it happens.” R’nd had no idea how to fix this mess he made. He kind of expected tears but they weren’t over the right thing. B’jin didn’t seem to care at all that I’shan had been a bed partner when he wasn’t looking and while R’nd respected relationships that were open like that and had even been in I’shan’s position a time or two before, it was still something he thought wouldn’t sit right with B’jin. Of course he was wrong – wasn’t that the moral of the story for the last ten minutes?
“I want to apologise but I don’t know what to apologise for now. I was dying from the guilt of cheating on you and worried it would hurt you but now I feel like I should apologise for not doing it sooner. So… I’m sorry I haven’t… been sleeping around more?” He was so confused! Apparently he had been right about disappointing B’jin as well. He was such a failure on top of being a horrible friend. He was expected to sleep around and R’nd failed to live up to that hype by spending more and more time curled up with B’jin and genuinely loving it and wishing to know everything he could about the man he called a close friend now. “I don’t want to though,” R’nd whispered with a small pout. If B’jin wanted him to, then he could try to pick up his old routine again?
What if he was smothering B’jin!
R’nd was once again horrified at the idea that B’jin didn’t want to be around him so much and had been hoping for more people to come in and occupy time and bed space. The greenrider was as closed off as he was when it came to personal facts so maybe he didn’t want anyone getting too close and finding out more than they should. R’nd had tried hard not to ask too many questions but there was a chance the ones he had asked shouldn’t have been said anyway. His hands slipped lifelessly away from B’jin’s warm but damp cheeks to fold neatly in his lap. They didn’t stay there long, however, as B’jin’s untouched glass of wine was spotted and R’nd made quick work of stealing it and chugging back most of the contents. Wine would dull the pain and get him to stop thinking so much! Even he knew he wasn’t making much sense anymore and R’nd was glad he hadn’t given voice to his crazy idea about why B’jin wanted more people between them.
A questioning chirp from the bedroom signalled Rell had finally escaped from Ayyonth’s watch, finally having enough of being kept away from R’nd when he was confused and a bit upset. The little firelizard came darting into the living room and chided both men for being so gloomy and settled on the couch in the small space between them. R’nd sighed and wondered why he had to deal with the other subject that always left him confused. He loved Rell but they had bonded by accident and R’nd was certain B’jin only barely tolerated the firelizard’s presence on a good day. At least the little guy had stopped trying to sleep in bed between them. He was so tempted to send Rell images of an angry wherry that was ready to eat little blue firelizards but he wasn’t that mean. No matter his mood or what had happened because of Rell, R’nd simply couldn’t hate him or cause him further distress.
“I’ll oil you in a bit, okay? Go back to Ayyonth or go lay down for now, Rell.” R’nd tried his best to shoo the flitter away but the best he got was a sulking Rell crawling over his lap to sit on the small space of couch furthest from B’jin. It would have to do.
Nothing was working out right!
“Oh, love. Please don’t cry. My heart breaks every time it happens.” R’nd had no idea how to fix this mess he made. He kind of expected tears but they weren’t over the right thing. B’jin didn’t seem to care at all that I’shan had been a bed partner when he wasn’t looking and while R’nd respected relationships that were open like that and had even been in I’shan’s position a time or two before, it was still something he thought wouldn’t sit right with B’jin. Of course he was wrong – wasn’t that the moral of the story for the last ten minutes?
“I want to apologise but I don’t know what to apologise for now. I was dying from the guilt of cheating on you and worried it would hurt you but now I feel like I should apologise for not doing it sooner. So… I’m sorry I haven’t… been sleeping around more?” He was so confused! Apparently he had been right about disappointing B’jin as well. He was such a failure on top of being a horrible friend. He was expected to sleep around and R’nd failed to live up to that hype by spending more and more time curled up with B’jin and genuinely loving it and wishing to know everything he could about the man he called a close friend now. “I don’t want to though,” R’nd whispered with a small pout. If B’jin wanted him to, then he could try to pick up his old routine again?
What if he was smothering B’jin!
R’nd was once again horrified at the idea that B’jin didn’t want to be around him so much and had been hoping for more people to come in and occupy time and bed space. The greenrider was as closed off as he was when it came to personal facts so maybe he didn’t want anyone getting too close and finding out more than they should. R’nd had tried hard not to ask too many questions but there was a chance the ones he had asked shouldn’t have been said anyway. His hands slipped lifelessly away from B’jin’s warm but damp cheeks to fold neatly in his lap. They didn’t stay there long, however, as B’jin’s untouched glass of wine was spotted and R’nd made quick work of stealing it and chugging back most of the contents. Wine would dull the pain and get him to stop thinking so much! Even he knew he wasn’t making much sense anymore and R’nd was glad he hadn’t given voice to his crazy idea about why B’jin wanted more people between them.
A questioning chirp from the bedroom signalled Rell had finally escaped from Ayyonth’s watch, finally having enough of being kept away from R’nd when he was confused and a bit upset. The little firelizard came darting into the living room and chided both men for being so gloomy and settled on the couch in the small space between them. R’nd sighed and wondered why he had to deal with the other subject that always left him confused. He loved Rell but they had bonded by accident and R’nd was certain B’jin only barely tolerated the firelizard’s presence on a good day. At least the little guy had stopped trying to sleep in bed between them. He was so tempted to send Rell images of an angry wherry that was ready to eat little blue firelizards but he wasn’t that mean. No matter his mood or what had happened because of Rell, R’nd simply couldn’t hate him or cause him further distress.
“I’ll oil you in a bit, okay? Go back to Ayyonth or go lay down for now, Rell.” R’nd tried his best to shoo the flitter away but the best he got was a sulking Rell crawling over his lap to sit on the small space of couch furthest from B’jin. It would have to do.
Nothing was working out right!
