10.Jan.13, 04:12 AM
Was B’jin laughing? That wasn’t a reaction R’nd had planned on. In fact, all of his scenarios revolved around yelling, crying, and a silent empty room. This wasn’t at all what he expected. Did B’jin even believe him? It was hard to say though he supposed the situation in which he was almost caught up in with I’shan in the kitchen would have made for an interesting tale and something he may have even bragged about if circumstances were different. He tried to smile, starting to see the humour B’jin clearly saw but also because his lover was possibly still his lover with the way he didn’t even leave his seat but then the counter-confessions came and R’nd tilted his head quizzically at B’jin. “You’ve had me all to yourself for quite some time, B’jin.” R’nd wasn’t ashamed of his reputation and never hid how he bed-hopped so it wasn’t surprising to be called out on it nor did it bother him. It was surprising, however, that B’jin always assumed he was sharing his lover with other people and it didn’t bother him.
If what they had was a bit more casual than B’jin would have been correct in that belief, and in fact he had been early on in their time together as well. But something had changed and R’nd couldn’t explain what it was. He just liked being with the greenrider far more than he liked being with most everyone else he associated with and didn’t see the need to fill free time with them in sexual manners. Was that really so odd? When it came to a playboy like him, R’nd guessed it was.
Wait.
“Wha? You… wha?” R’nd’s attention was fully back on B’jin and what he had just said. It was done so casually that R’nd didn’t think he heard correctly, especially with the way B’jin didn’t flinch at or retract his words. Still, B’jin may not have heard it but R’nd had and oh, he needed to sit down. The room was starting to spin and R’nd realised he hadn’t been breathing properly, if at all, during his confession and now B’jin’s casually tossed out confession of his own was only making things worse. He stumbled back to the couch as it was closer than the chair and sagged down against the cushions and stared in bewilderment at the greenrider. There was a desire to flee the room, the hut, but that required more strength than R’nd currently had since staring and gawking seemed the only things he could do right then.
What did one say to such words? No, that wasn’t fair. R’nd knew what he used to say to love confessions being tossed at him and while he was pretty good at gently breaking hearts, it was scary how much he really didn’t want to do that now. Despite that desire to keep B’jin’s precious heart intact, R’nd found his natural defence of shutting out things he didn’t want to think about kicking in and his flirtatious nature taking over. He grinned at B’jin, trying his best to be rid of the confusion and shock in his eyes as he did so. “Shel may have been convincing but you’re still extremely tempting and convincing in your own ways that I can’t get enough of.” After such a talk, physical confirmation of their mutual understanding of each other seemed appropriate but R’nd didn’t want to throw himself at the greenrider either and make it all about sex.
Instead, he placed one still trembling hand over one of B’jin’s and let the simple touch say what he couldn’t – or possibly wouldn’t – say. Little words could leave such large impacts. “I’m sorry I made you worry over such things. I was so afraid I would upset you.” He brushed a strand of B’jin’s hair from his face, still impressed by how quickly it had grown in their time together. It was so soft as well! It put R’nd’s own mane to shame. “I was the reason you were lashed, the reason I’shan was given an insane amount for his lashing, and then potentially ruined our relationship. You really are too good for the likes of me.” For all of his ego and vanity, R’nd still didn’t think he was worthy of such a man like B’jin.
If what they had was a bit more casual than B’jin would have been correct in that belief, and in fact he had been early on in their time together as well. But something had changed and R’nd couldn’t explain what it was. He just liked being with the greenrider far more than he liked being with most everyone else he associated with and didn’t see the need to fill free time with them in sexual manners. Was that really so odd? When it came to a playboy like him, R’nd guessed it was.
Wait.
“Wha? You… wha?” R’nd’s attention was fully back on B’jin and what he had just said. It was done so casually that R’nd didn’t think he heard correctly, especially with the way B’jin didn’t flinch at or retract his words. Still, B’jin may not have heard it but R’nd had and oh, he needed to sit down. The room was starting to spin and R’nd realised he hadn’t been breathing properly, if at all, during his confession and now B’jin’s casually tossed out confession of his own was only making things worse. He stumbled back to the couch as it was closer than the chair and sagged down against the cushions and stared in bewilderment at the greenrider. There was a desire to flee the room, the hut, but that required more strength than R’nd currently had since staring and gawking seemed the only things he could do right then.
What did one say to such words? No, that wasn’t fair. R’nd knew what he used to say to love confessions being tossed at him and while he was pretty good at gently breaking hearts, it was scary how much he really didn’t want to do that now. Despite that desire to keep B’jin’s precious heart intact, R’nd found his natural defence of shutting out things he didn’t want to think about kicking in and his flirtatious nature taking over. He grinned at B’jin, trying his best to be rid of the confusion and shock in his eyes as he did so. “Shel may have been convincing but you’re still extremely tempting and convincing in your own ways that I can’t get enough of.” After such a talk, physical confirmation of their mutual understanding of each other seemed appropriate but R’nd didn’t want to throw himself at the greenrider either and make it all about sex.
Instead, he placed one still trembling hand over one of B’jin’s and let the simple touch say what he couldn’t – or possibly wouldn’t – say. Little words could leave such large impacts. “I’m sorry I made you worry over such things. I was so afraid I would upset you.” He brushed a strand of B’jin’s hair from his face, still impressed by how quickly it had grown in their time together. It was so soft as well! It put R’nd’s own mane to shame. “I was the reason you were lashed, the reason I’shan was given an insane amount for his lashing, and then potentially ruined our relationship. You really are too good for the likes of me.” For all of his ego and vanity, R’nd still didn’t think he was worthy of such a man like B’jin.