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+--- Thread: [G] [C] 743.04.01 | A New Perspective (/showthread.php?tid=5164)
743.04.01 | A New Perspective - K'tir - 31.Mar.22
Apparently he was only a few days away from being blind for a year. That's what people told him, anyway. The ones who still cared about the passage of time. Some days it felt like he might care again but then it would slip away as he remembered the death of his daughter or how useless he was without sight. He could do the most basic of activities like find his way around his weyr without stubbing a toe or falling. He was skilled at dressing himself and could even match as he could still see some colours. He could feed himself, though doing so in the dining cavern was rare because while he couldn't see people staring, he could feel it.
He was told he was still a great lover as well. His ego needed that as for the most part K'tir believed he had little else going for him. On the better days, when he was able to laugh and find humour once again, he would joke that he could start a business of selling his body. That part was fine and tempted him still but it was when he said he could charge to impregnate women that all the wind left him and he was reminded of Katiryn. His little girl died alone because he was injured himself and couldn't get to her at Benden Weyr where some coward had poisoned the gold Candidates' evening treats. If he ever found out who did it, it would be a slow and agonizing death for them.
He still had Kajiran and he fiercely loved that boy. His sweet and patient son had put up with so much shit the past year while K'tir tried to find himself again. The boy deserved the world and that desire to make it happen helped K'tir continue to find the will to live and be a better dad and person. He still didn't know how to make all of his son's dreams come true, especially since a lot of them revolved around Impressing and he couldn't bully a hatchling into bonding with and loving his son. But K'tir was determined to be there when it happened and to help him flourish from that point on.
But he had to continue working on himself first. Like flying with Ghaeth. It had been terrifying learning all over again and not being able to see from his own perspective. But once he let go of the fear and eased into Ghaeth's mind, K'tir learned how to fly from his dragon's point of view. It had all been about trust to begin with. They were a team, they worked together and made decisions together. None of that had changed because his own eyes were busted. The only thing that bothered him was that they no longer had two sets looking around them for signs of trouble but Ghaeth's vision was the stronger of the two regardless.
Did he think they would ever be in a wing fighting Thread one day? No, likely not. Perhaps when that day came they would be able to join in practices and give it a try but K'tir wasn't confident when it came to the idea of facing Thread itself. For the time being he and Ghaeth were content with their lazy flying and being together in the sky again. Casa probably had some ideas for what he could be used for during that time. She was truly coming into her own as a Weyrwoman and seemed comfortable in bossing people around and getting ideas rolling. She didn't confide much--if at all--in him especially since the attacks on them but he had heard that some of the changes and improvements in the Weyr were her ideas and not the Weyrleader's. It was good to know that at least one of their leaders was more than just a hot body.
K'tir rose from the couch where he had been sprawled when a knock sounded at his door. "Come in!" he called as he moved over to the kitchen to grab the tray of juice and mugs he had called for earlier. His love of reading had been well known before the attack and it was one of the many things that helped keep his mood so low but several of his lovers offered to read to him and even act out scenes in the smuttier books. At first in was insulting but the idea quickly grew on him and now he looked forward to the company. Just one of the many steps in bettering himself.