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+---- Thread: The First Step Down the Wrong Road [Erisi] (/showthread.php?tid=215)
The First Step Down the Wrong Road [Erisi] - T'lian - 17.Feb.12
Talian hadn't slept. He spent most of the morning glaring at himself in his own reflection in a cup of klah, eyes glassy and underscored by dark crescent-shaped bags. He hated that the sleepless nights had returned. They threw him off, brought his mood down and negatively affected his ability to focus.
He felt so empty. He was loathe to admit it anymore, certain that everyone was tried of hearing his whining. Besides, B'jin was having personal problems and Erisi had helped enough already. Too modest to ask any more of them, Talian was enduring his latest slump in stoic silence.
A little before midday, the healer realized he hadn't moved since the sun came up. He slowly rose to his feet, legs weak after a night without bothering to eat, and started to dress himself. An idea had come to him. It wasn't a new idea, but rather something that had been swimming about in his head for quite a while. As he sat there alone, he found himself pulled towards this particular course of action more and more, like a star caught in a black hole.
Within twenty minutes, he was dressed and on his way. He stopped by the dining hall to drink a quick mug of klah and grab a couple meatrolls. He slowly worked on eating them as he walked to the west, out towards the forest.
He wasn't running away. There was something there he wanted, just in case.
Re: The First Step Down the Wrong Road [Erisi] - E'si - 17.Feb.12
Some could say that Erisi looked to be adjusting - it was inevitable, of course, but Erisi's heels were still digging stubbornly into the ground. No one could quite convince him that what had been done to him was right. He was running into trouble everywhere, intentionally and unintentionally. A talk with the Weyrleader had him paranoid about making a simple misstep, but that hardly meant he was adjusting. He was behaving for the sake of saving his own ass. Erisi still didn't socialize with a lot of Dragonriders, and even other Candidates. He had more fingers on one hand than he had in the number of friends. He had more enemies than he could count with the fingers and toes of all his limbs.
Life wasn't intolerable, but it wasn't fantastic for the young Harper. His life back in the North had just started to take off. His music was becoming popular, and he had been filling his purse easily throughout each sevenday. Erisi's life had been good, and since being forced down to Katila Weyr, it had taken a sharp turn for the worse. Things would never be the same for the Harper, and that alone was knowledge that he refused to let go of. All the friends and lovers in the entirety of Pern couldn't console him over that fact.
Erisi's favorite place to escape from Weyr life was the forest. It wasn't so far away that people thought he was running away, and the woods were deep enough that if he didn't want to be bothered, he wouldn't be. A few times he had passed the daylight away sitting underneath the shade of the trees. He wasn't the type of person who enjoyed being outside, but he'd take the discomfort of the weather outside over the emotional discomfort being inside Katila offered him. Today, apparently, he was not the only one that was seeking refuge in the forest.
He was genuinely surprised to spot an all too familiar figure in the distance. He knew the man without having to see his face, and immediately his pace quickened to catch up with the Healer. "Talian!" he called out to grab his friend's attention.
Re: The First Step Down the Wrong Road [Erisi] - T'lian - 18.Feb.12
Talian stopped short as his name reached his ears. He spun around, quickly locating Eri. As weighed down a he felt, the sight of his friend put a smile on his face. "Erisi!" he called back. Loud vocals sounded awkward and unnatural coming from the typically quiet young man.
He waited for Erisi to catch up before he continued walking. "I didn't expect to see you out here," he said as he thrust his hands in his pockets. Just having Erisi around perked him up a bit, though his fatigue and dreary attitude were still more or less transparent. Most importantly, Eri's presence sent a pang of guilt through the healer. Maybe this was a bad idea.
Perspective. He couldn't settle on a perspective. He decided to continue walking and thinking about the specifics later. Who knew, maybe something would change his mind. For now, he could at least look for what he needed.
Indecisive but happy for the company, he slowed his pace to match Eri's and sighed. "How are you?" he asked. He offered one of his meatrolls to his companion. Eri was a kindred sprirt in a lot of ways. The harper didn't encourage Tal to assimilate or change. He understood what it was like to feel like a prisoner at Katila, held against his will with no hope of escape. In a way, Eri was a good model as well. His attitude was admittedly a little gruff, but Eri was adapting better than Talian was. That wasn't hard and Erisi's 'adaptation' wasn't the beat example, but it was a blend that Talian could relate to.
Talian looked forward towards the forest. He liked the shade and the cool autumn breeze. It was relaxing.
Re: The First Step Down the Wrong Road [Erisi] - E'si - 18.Feb.12
"Sometimes, I prefer being out here to being in there." For Erisi, any place that blocked his view of Katila Weyr was a good place. He found himself escaping to the forest more often, though what that indicated for him was still a mystery. Maybe avoiding the problem was the best solution for him. When he confronted it, he usually fought, his words got clipped and his patience thin. Erisi jumped into full confrontation mode whenever he was made to face the issue of Katila Weyr. It was better sometimes to not remind him of his predicament, though it was always in the back of his mind. At least back there, his thoughts wouldn't manifest themselves into aggression.
"I'm handling things okay today, so far at least." He cast a glance over to his companion, noting the obvious signs of fatigue. Again, he wasn't sure whether to press Talian to talk about his issues or distract him. Distracting him was fun, but that meant that Talian's real problems were shoved aside and never properly handled. "You look like you haven't slept," he commented bluntly. Erisi decided that he'd let Talian dictate the direction of their conversation. If Talian wanted to talk about his woes, Erisi would listen. It was the least that he could do for a friend.
"Why are you headed to the forest?" he asked, posing the question as a scape goat for Talian. If he didn't want to answer his previous inquiry, he could in turn answer this one. He could even answer both, for all that Erisi cared. The Harper just felt as if he were walking on thin ice with Talian, always carefully minding the Healer's boundaries, worried about stepping over them and what that would cause in the depressed man. This wasn't the sort of friendship Erisi would normally hold, or enjoy. He did like Talian well enough, but there was a part of him that almost felt obliged to watch over the Healer.
Re: The First Step Down the Wrong Road [Erisi] - T'lian - 18.Feb.12
Talian managed a small but sincere smile. "I haven't been sleeping well," he replied truthfully. "Thank you for asking. I've had trouble sleeping well for most of my life, and this place is really..unfamiliar to me. Still," he said, elaborating just a bit for Erisi's benefit. Normally cold in such regards, the healer was slowly opening up to Erisi. Tal had a bad habit of providing minimal information. The fact that he was willing to elaborate for Erisi meant something in and of itself.
An uncharacteristic grin crossed his face, like he was trying to find humor in a place where there was none. "I can't get used to this place, Erisi," he admitted. Katila wasn't really no different from home. He was expected to do what he was told and live the life laid out for him either way. The only thing missing was an arranged marriage. His craft was selected for him and he was kept under a strict schedule. Here or there, it was all the same.
He frowned a bit, a sudden shift from his previous expression. He knew that wasn't entirely true. He'd finally manged to break the cycle back at home. He'd been free for the first time in his life, only to have the entire process start over. He was the bottom of the totem pole again. His past accomplishments, those which he spent his entire life focusing on, meant little to nothing. He was just another stolen candidate, and he wasn't able to accept it.
He snorted suddenly and changed topics. "...I'm looking for some herbs. The hall needs to be restocked..." he said.
Re: The First Step Down the Wrong Road [Erisi] - E'si - 18.Feb.12
A lack of sleep definitely explained why Talian looked so down today. Erisi still couldn't help but wonder if there was more weighing on Talian's mind, but he had long ago decided that the best approach with Talian was to let the Healer come around on his own. There was some progress, as evidenced by Talian trying to be open with Erisi. Honestly, Erisi had never made a friend that he had to put so much effort into. But, there was ease when he was with Talian. They were like-minded individuals, at least when it came to Katila Weyr. That alone was enough to build a foundation for friendship. So far, things were going fairly smoothly between them, and Talian was becoming someone that Erisi could trust. "Have you tried that... Healer crap?" It was probably insulting to anyone else's ear, but Erisi was really only inquiring if Talian was treating himself for it.... inelegantly.
"The problem is, that you shouldn't have to get used to this place, because you shouldn't be here. By now, I know the routine and such, but that doesn't mean I like it here or enjoy it here. Shells, I did punch I'shan in the face." He was speaking in a light tone, despite his aforementioned problems with adjusting to his new life. With Talian, he really did feel at ease. There was someone out there that hated this new life as much as he did. It was clear, though, that they handled their resentment in different ways. Erisi stubbornly opposed everything Katila stood for, and Talian clearly was letting it drag him down and overwhelm him.
When Talian mentioned that he was going out to look for some herbs, Erisi scrunched his nose in disgust. With one look at the man it was clear that he well... didn't go rooting around on the forest floor for plants. Actually, he looked like he avoided anything that had the word 'labor' involved. "That sounds... thrilling," he replied. That his tone was sarcastic did not even need to be mentioned. Erisi practically breathed sarcasm on a daily basis, though his last comment was absolutely oozing with it.
Re: The First Step Down the Wrong Road [Erisi] - T'lian - 18.Feb.12
"You mean medicine?" Talian asked. Eri's tone didn't offend him. "I've thought about taking something to help me sleep, but sleep aids tend to be very addictive." He knew he was already borderline-addicted to klah. That wouldn't be a very good mixture. "I can only imagine how much it would screw me up to be on both depressants and stimulants. I'm taking Thymus again, but in a much smaller dosage. It keeps me alert and keeps my mind moving so I don't...linger on things for too long. It hurts my ability to focus, though. So I don't take it on days I see patients."
The healer was being uncharacteristically talkative. He step up just a bit, his tawny eyes eagerly scanning the brush for the plant he needed. He saw some familiar plants and plenty of unusual ones as well. He wasn't familiar with the south's staple flora, so he didn't even know if he would be able to find what he needed. Did it even grow here?
If not, there were other ways.
"I agree," he said, sighing as he thought of their situation. "But there's nothing we can do about it. Running away would be suicide, and they're bent on barraging us with their culture and rules until we give in." There was an oddly mechanical slant in his voice, completely devoid of emotion. He sounded numb.
Erisi's distaste at the task at hand was almost amusing, and a very welcome shift from the previous topic. He brightened. He even felt a brief desire to give Eri a playful shove, but he decided against it. He didn't want to give Eri the wrong idea, that he was perhaps looking too deeply into their past interactions.
"This isn't so bad. Think of it as a stroll, but with a second motive. I just need to keep my eyes peeled," he said. He looked over one shoulder and was pleased to see the Weyr disappear as they rounded a corner. For the time being, he actually felt free.
Re: The First Step Down the Wrong Road [Erisi] - E'si - 18.Feb.12
Despite having asked Talian if he was taking medicine to help him with his sleep deprivation, he didn't wholly approve of it. Erisi believed that it was only helping Talian to mask his problems, instead of confronting them head on. Letting those things go unchecked would eventually backfire on the Healer. He needed to face his issues, but Erisi was sure that he wouldn't. "How does it feel to... go without it all? We could always try and find something that will stimulate your mind without resorting to Thymus." Erisi couldn't help but feel that it was very wrong that Talian had to resort to taking medicine to cope with living in Katila Weyr.
Talian was... definitely off, and he wasn't sure he could pin it on sleep deprivation any longer. Talian's voice could be animated one moment, and then completely devoid of emotion the next. Erisi couldn't help but wonder how much of Talian's good mood was an act. That thought weighed heavily on his mind as Talian continued talking to him. He walked alongside his friend, and while normally he would dictate their conversations Talian was taking nearly complete control. It was odd, and Erisi wasn't sure he liked it.
"I don't normally even do strolls, unless I'm moving from someone else's bedroom back to my own," Erisi answered crudely with a little smile. But even then, his humor felt shallow now that he was aware of how shallow Talian's was. It was something Erisi would usually try to ignore to respect Talian's privacy, but it was genuinely beginning to bug him.
He reached out, hand resting on Talian's shoulder to draw him to a stop. "What's up?" Erisi asked with a cautious tone. "I mean it, seriously, Talian, something's up with you and I am not so sharding blind as to not see it."
Re: The First Step Down the Wrong Road [Erisi] - T'lian - 19.Feb.12
Talian had to consider the next question for a moment. "To go without it? Eh." That was his shorthand assessment. "I have mood swings. It's a symptom of depression," he said. He'd self-diagnosed himself, sure, but it was pretty obvious. He couldn't bring himself to submit to another healer's evaluation, not when he already knew the news they would deliver. "But they're mostly negative. I get..bogged down. Like I can't function." It was almost like being a very bad kind of drunk. He found himself lost, one step behind the rest of the world with his senses dulled and his mind lingering on the hopelessness of his situation. It wasn't a good feeling.
He wanted to elaborate on it, but he imagined it would only look like whining to Erisi. Talian knew there was a difference between sadness and actual medical depression, but Eri might not. Regardless, Talian appreciated his support. He chuckled lightly at Eri's next comment about walking, but he said nothing.
And then, it happened. Talian let out a soft groan as Erisi confronted him about his moods. "I'm sorry," Tal said meekly, his voice carrying it's regular inflections for just a split second. Meekness fluttered across his face. "Its....I guess the medicine. Or the depression." He paused. "...To be completely honest, I'm not sure. It's got my moods ruising and falling all the time," he admitted. He knew it wasn't a good way to cope. He was, as Erisi supposed, just pushing the problem under a rug and saying the floor was clean. It wasn't clean, though.
He shivered. He imagined it was due to a gust of chilly autumn wind, but they were completely surrounded by trees. "We don't have to talk about it though, Eri. We both know that we both hate it here. I don't know if another pity party is going to help either of us..." he said.
Re: The First Step Down the Wrong Road [Erisi] - E'si - 19.Feb.12
It was true that Erisi didn't quite understand the full concept of depression. He knew the words to describe it, but had failed to go through such an experience himself. Being brought to Katila Weyr hadn't brought an overwhelming sadness, and instead a nearly overwhelming anger. Erisi wasn't the type of person to get depressed - he was a fighter. When something began to try and drag him down, he resisted with all of his strength until he came out on top. It was why he was still functioning within Katila Weyr, though it couldn't be said he was functioning well or in the manner that the Weyrleaders would have liked. So, what Talian was going through was something Erisi couldn't comprehend. How he could not overcome this depression was also something Erisi couldn't understand. "The medicine is only covering up the problem," he replied, point-blank stating his issue with Talian resorting to herbs and other Healer crap.
Finally, he had Talian talking more upfront with him, even if he wasn't sure what it would accomplish. The Healer was trying to explain his experiences, but they were still something Erisi would never fully understand. The words made sense, but he couldn't picture what life for Talian was like every day. "Or both?" Erisi prompted, taking care with the tone of his voice so he wouldn't seem upset or critical. "Don't apologize for it, anyways. You can't help how you're feeling. I'd just rather you tell me, instead of dodging the issue." Erisi didn't want Talian's problems pushed to the side any longer. He was sure that they were eating away at the Healer's mind, and Talian just wasn't letting anybody know that.
"If it makes you feel better, you can talk about it. I'll hold back my own complaints, since I think we've gone through them a few hundred times." A flicker of an amused smile crossed his face. The Harper stood still, withdrawing his hand from Talian's shoulder to instead fold his arms against his chest. It seemed like Talian would have little option but to cave to Erisi's desires. It was actually a common interaction between the two of them. Erisi would press and press until he got his way, and eventually Talian would let him.
Re: The First Step Down the Wrong Road [Erisi] - T'lian - 19.Feb.12
Talian frowned emphatically. "Both is probably more like it," he admitted. He drag his feet a bit, idly kicking rocks and watching them bounce along the road before him. "It's a little humiliating, really. I've seen pretty much everyone else start to adapt," he said, though again he cut his elaboration short. He didn't feel right, spilling to Eri. Talian was supposed to be the listener. He'd been there for Erisi on plenty of occasions, sure. He didn't feel right taking back, though.
"It's strange. It's like I feel stuck in the mud. If I struggle too much, I just keep sinking," he said. He paused as a particular plant caught his eye. He walked over to it and knelt, peeling the delicate vine away from the tree with hi thin hands and examining it closely.
Nope. He sighed, half in disappointment and half in relief, before returning the slender vine to it's proper location. "It all sounds really bitchy, I know," he said as he returned to Erisi's side. "But it's been robbing me of sleep. It's been making me anxious around the dragonriders and our classmates...it's hard for me to even get out of bed in the morning without taking something. It's not healthy..." He'd studied depression enough to know where it could lead. "It's shameful. Everyone else is getting on with their lives, and I just don't want to, Eri...Nor do I feel like I could if I wanted to," he said in distaste.
He gave a slightly larger rock a particularly forceful kick. It slammed into an ash tree with a satisfying 'thump'.
"I hate it here, Erisi. I don't even have much to go home to, and I still hate it."
Re: The First Step Down the Wrong Road [Erisi] - E'si - 20.Feb.12
"No one's the same, Talian. I get the impression that most Candidates want to adjust. That Lyslimeah girl probably sucked a few dragonrider dick just to get here." His method of cheering Talian up was a poor one, and his method of distracting Talian was even more poor. He was only mildly aware that Talian considered Lymsleia a friend. Erisi hated the girl, and seemed to take every opportunity to make a snide remark about her. It was a tendency for Erisi that was normal, which was why he was forcing it now... so Talian wouldn't think that he was acting strange.
"And if you don't struggle?" Erisi tentatively suggested. While he hated the idea of Talian being forced to adapt, a part of him suspected that it was the only way that Talian was going to feel better. Talian shouldn't have to adjust, but if he continued resisting, it was clear that he would simply remain depressed. But then again, would giving in to Katila make things any different? Would Talian still continue to feel distant and out of place? Adapting wasn't necessarily the answer. Instead, it could simply be a desperate attempt to fix something that simply couldn't be fixed.
"Maybe if they let you get away for a little while? This place is obviously dragging you down, so maybe the best idea is to have you step back and get a fresh breath of air, clear your head. You shouldn't... have ever had to feel this way." It was clear that Erisi wanted to console Talian, but had absolutely no idea how to do just that. He was trying, but he was no expert on depression, and normally never had a friend that needed such comfort. For Talian, he went out of his comfort zone. "Talian, we're all different. Some people may seem like they're moving on with their lives, when they can be just as stuck as you or me."
He arched a thin brow as Talian kicked a rock, since it was likely the most aggressive thing he had ever seen Talian do. Yes, the Healer's mood was definitely off, or finally revealing itself in full. "I hate it too. You just need to find... something you like."
Re: The First Step Down the Wrong Road [Erisi] - T'lian - 20.Feb.12
Tal chose to ignore the comments against Lym. He didn't approve of them, but voicing his opposition would neither change Eri's mind or prevent it from happening again. Like so much else, he simply allowed it to roll off him. Erisi succeeded in his goal, however. Tal assumed Eri was just being Eri, and that was satisfactory to him.
Truthfully, he wasn't paying much attention to Erisi's mood. While he'd previously assumed Erisi wasn't concerned over anyone else's problems, the healer no longer had doubts after their last meeting in the storage room. Erisi obviously cared, Tal saw no reason to doubt it.
"If I don't struggle? I still sink...just slower," he grumbled, his voice becoming uncharacteristically dark. "If I'm lucky, I'll just get stuck and stay bogged down forever without actually drowning," he said scornfully.
Anger suddenly clouded his face. He listened to Erisi's next suggestion with barely-restrained bitterness. Getting away for a while? That was just as temporary as taking medicine. It didn't solve anything either. He sighed and kicked a second rock. This one didn't produce the same satisfying results.
At that moment, his discerning eye caught sight of something. He spied a small bush with wilting green shoots. He walked over and knelt beside the plant, plucking off a piece and raising it to his nose. The plant wasn't in great shape and it's distinctive yellow flowers were all dead, but it was definitely what he was after.
"Something I like, huh?" he asked weakly, his voice nearly lost in a weary sigh. Well, I like you...
Re: The First Step Down the Wrong Road [Erisi] - E'si - 22.Feb.12
There had to be a way for Talian to defeat his depression. Erisi couldn't see how there would be no solution to his friend's woes. If taking medicine only masked the problem, and doing without it only revealed how deep the problem ran, then there had to be another solution. What that was, though, Erisi had no idea. He wasn't a Healer - had never even desired that run in life as a young teenager. It was the Harper Hall for him, and not really because he was intelligent, but rather that he had a gift that could be fostered. Erisi knew about the Healer craft, he was a Harper, but detailed diagnoses and treatment was far beyond his scope of understanding. "I'm just saying that there has to be a way to beat this."
Erisi wasn't so blind to miss Talian's anger. It was restrained, but the frustration was clear on the Healer's face. Truthfully, Erisi wasn't sure that it was better than being sad, nor was he sure that he was okay with Talian being angry at his suggestions. He was trying to help, the least Talian could do was listen to him. He wasn't a Healer, but he didn't think his advice and opinions were bad enough to warrant frustration and anger. "You're letting it beat you," Erisi said, his words slightly clipped with impatience. Talian was getting frustrated, and with him frustrated, Erisi was too.
It very well could dissolve into a fight. Erisi had never been an expert at avoiding conflict, and was easy to upset, especially when he felt like he was putting a bit of his friendly trust on the line to help Talian. "Yeah, something you like." He sighed, trying to exhale the negativity that was beginning to radiate from his pores. This was why he didn't keep friends or lovers long - eventually he'd fight with them, eventually they would get fed up with his attitude. When that happened, he couldn't be bothered to make the effort to keep them by his side.
Re: The First Step Down the Wrong Road [Erisi] - T'lian - 22.Feb.12
Talian continued to kneel, clutching the plant's tender stalks in his fist as he listened to Erisi's words. He could hear the edge of frustration in Eri's voice. It stung like a white-hot blade. Normally quite able to endure all sorts of snarking and verbal assaults, at that very vulnerable moment the healer couldn't stand the idea of Erisi being mad at him.
In a fit of sudden emotion, Talian shoved the herbs in his pockets and stood up. He carefully and thoroughly wiped his hands off on his sleeves as he walked over, his eyes locked firmly on his friend's face. Tal's expression was twisted in sudden remorse and almost longing. "I'm sorry, Eri..." he said, coming within two steps of the other man and frowning. He almost looked older than he should have, his eyes were so lifeless and his frown lines so needlessly exaggerated.
He held one hand out nervously. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to just start...bitching like that," he said, unable to think of another word to describe his little fit. He was suddenly ashamed of himself. His eyed widened in a moment of profound realization before he lowered them, almost submissively, and heaved a weary sigh. "...I like you," he said at length, tone muted and defeated. He wanted to rub an itch in his left eye and moved to do just that with his free hand, but he stopped himself short. He rigidly dropped his hand back to his side. "...I don't mean in a...tie-you-down sort of way. I mean you're the best friend I've ever had." Well, aside from Fiora...but Talian found it easier nowadays to pretend she'd never existed.
Besides, in some ways Erisi had already helped him far more than she ever had.
Re: The First Step Down the Wrong Road [Erisi] - E'si - 22.Feb.12
Erisi would likely claim that it was the apology that soothed his irritation, but in truth it was the look on Talian's face that stopped his anger cold. He was almost uncomfortable in the face of such raw emotion. Rarely did he have to deal with that intense sadness, whether through himself or others. Sure, he was aggrieved to have been kidnapped, but he kept those emotions bottled up inside. There was rarely any raw emotion besides anger that would course through his body. "It's okay," Erisi responded with grudging acceptance. The irritation had faded away, but that didn't make him any less hurt that Talian was almost scorning his ideas.
The look on Erisi's face when Talian said 'I like you...' could have been considered comical if the situation weren't so serious. There was a sudden and definite discomfort in not only his posture, but his expression as well. Okay, he did not deal with relationships well, and he couldn't tell if Talian was coming onto him in that way when the man was so emotionally charged. The Harper felt the distinct urge to put some distance between himself and Talian. He thought the Healer knew to make nothing more out of their sexual exploits than what they simply were. It wasn't really until Talian elaborated that Erisi felt at ease.
And his 'at ease' was still a little uncomfortable just by the delivery of Talian's previous words. "Oh," he breathed with obvious relief. Well, friends was something that Erisi could handle. Any further emotional commitment was out of his range. It could almost be tragic that he wouldn't commit himself to anybody, if it didn't work out so well for him. He was happy with his liaisons, he was happy with no one to tie him down and eventually hurt him. Erisi was satisfied with being as flighty as a Green (though he better not hear anyone say that to his face).
"You're my first and best friend here. You mean a lot to me too, in that way. That's why it bothers me so much to see you down like this."
Re: The First Step Down the Wrong Road [Erisi] - T'lian - 22.Feb.12
Talian watched numbly as Erisi's expression shifted to irritation, to horror, and finally to relief and maybe even warmth. Talian relaxed and let out a belabored sigh, inching closer to give his friend a gentle hug. "Thank you, Eri," he whispered. Erisi's words meant an awful lot to him, but he knew he would suck at actually trying to articulate it. Instead, he just let his words hang in the air, neatly underscored by a tightening of grip. He turned his head and gave Erisi a light kiss on the neck before peeling himself away, almost slithering backwards.
"I swear on Faranth, I didn't mean to upset you with my lousy mood," Talian murmured. He placed his hand over his pocket and paused for an uncomfortably long moment, considering the consequences of what he'd just done. He set his jaw and frowned.
Maybe it won't be necessary he thought, Erisi's kind words still fresh on his mind. Erisi really was the best friend he could ever ask for.
Was this really the right way?
He decided to think about it later. He hadn't made a decision yet, he just had supplies in case he needed them. That's all, he reminded himself. That's all.
His mood somewhat improved, he finally managed a smile. "What do you say we head back and get some lunch, Eri?" he asked hopefully.
Re: The First Step Down the Wrong Road [Erisi] - E'si - 23.Feb.12
"I'm the one that inquired about it, so I don't see how you could even feel bad about that..." he answered in a reasonable tone, now that his anger had ebbed. The embrace had cemented his better mood, and while he felt somber, at least he wasn't turning to anger. His arms came back around Talian, holding him in a natural-feeling embrace. Erisi wasn't a touchy-feely kind of guy (at least until it mattered), so that he was this open for hugging was curious. His friendships were light, carefree. Most of the time he buddied up to people he could chat and drink with. There were no deep emotional ties, but they were friends nevertheless. He would cling to his tight circle of friends, and rarely allow anyone else in.
That circle of friends had been stripped from him, and rebuilding it seemed impossible when the only people he seemed to get along with were Talian, Kuminari, and Valerian. Even that few, though, wasn't so bad, especially when being with Talian provided benefits he normally didn't push with friends. But, those benefits were far from his mind right now. Talian had stepped back from the hug, and Erisi folded his arms at his chest as if to keep in the warmth. "You found everything you needed?" he inquired with the faintest hint of a smile.
He had seen Talian pick something out, but had no medical knowledge, nor much knowledge on herbs, to know what it was and what it did. Erisi was taking Talian's word on it, though, that the plant was to restock the Healers' stores and not for some weird self-diagnosis and personal use. "Hmmm, sure. I haven't ate yet, slept in past the breakfast hours." With that said, he turned away from Talian to lead the way back to their cage - Katila Weyr.