Homecoming Apologies [Aparicus, Open]

This was the day that Sanderon would be brought back to the weyr after his long time on the island. He did not know whether to be nervous, irritated or pleased. With these emotions swirling around in his gut, he swung his leg over Ilveriath's neck and slid down to the ground. Turning he looked up at the blue rider and gave him a thankful nod and gave Ilveriath a gentle pat he did not think anyone else would see and silently thanked the blue as well.

Turning around he took in the site of the Weyrfolk Hall where his old room had been located. He had lived in the candidate barracks in the beginning, but his 'disruptive behavior' barred him from not only that place for now but the hatching sands as well.

Along with the Hall, he also noticed a few others not that far away. The Flower Girl, Aparicus was one of them. Cringing slightly as he remember his terrible rudeness when last he saw her, he stepped away from I'shan and Ilveriath and took a step closer to the Weyrfolk Hall. He wondered as he moved, what he should do now.

Should he forget what had happened and leave it all behind? Or should he face it directly and apologize for what he had done? Closing his eyes as if in pain for a brief moment, he opened them again and took another step but this time it was in the direction of the Flower Girl. He had an apology to make.

While there had been a small group of people before the Weyrfolk Hall, Aparicus had been seated a short distance from them as she listened to the conversation without taking part in it.  She’d been working on something with a basket in her lap as well as a small jar when she noticed that someone was heading in her direction.  Looking up, she was glad she was sitting in the shade and didn’t have to shade her eyes when she recognized the face.

It was Sanderon.  The same young man she’d met in the Healer Hall… the same one that had been whipped in public (a display she’d kept well away from) and the same young man she’d hurt with her own words without ever meaning to.  Lowering her gaze, she picked up the next seed pod and began to carefully work it open without damaging the small round seeds inside.

Perhaps he was coming to speak with those nearby, though after a moment she glanced up again to realize that the line he made was unwavering and defiantly toward her.  Pausing what she was doing, she gave him a timid smile.  “Welcome home.”  She said softly, unsure if he was still upset over the words she had said during their first meeting.  He’d been gone a long time since then and while she’d sent him flowers, it had certainly not been every day like she had promised before she’d upset him so.  Not only had she been too afraid to keep the promise, but she had no way of taking them to him while he was being kept on the island.  Would he be upset with her for that as well?

Seeing her timid smile and her soft 'Welcome home' made Sanderon feel even worse. This was such a caring and kind individual. How could he have chased her away so rudely before. The fact that she had even sent him flowers while he was under weyr arrest gave further testament to her gentle nature. Stopping a 'safe' distance from her in case she turned out to be someone who was prone to throw things, Sanderon looked to her basket of seed pods for a moment as she tried to think of what to say.

"I...uh...I wanted to say I am sorry." Well, that wasn't too hard. But it felt sadly lacking, so he continued. "I got your flowers. They helped me more than you know." Another awkward pause ensued before he blurted out more words, hoping that she might understand what he was trying to say. "I was rude to you that day in the healer hall. I should never have said what I did. You have been nothing but kind. Thank you for that."

Not knowing what she would think of his awkward apology, Sanderon wanted to turn around, seek out his room and stay in solitude for the rest of the day. He felt very uncomfortable being around people again and could feel more than one staring at him as he spoke. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up with his discomfort. He did not leave Aparicus though. He waited instead to see if she wanted to say anything in return. Perhaps she would berate him now and rightfully so. He would take whatever she wanted to say with quiet acceptance.

Aparicus had opened her mouth to reply, a confused and surprised look clear on her open face, before closing it again as she listened to the rest of what he had continued to say, blurting words out quickly after brief, awkward pauses.  She waited until she was sure he was done before putting down the pod in her hand and chewing on her lower lip. 

“You don’t have to apologize.”  She finally replied as she began to piece together what he meant by the apologize she’d never thought due to her.  “I had thought you’d become angry with me for hurting you… Hurting you by bringing up your home.”  She said softly, shaking her head.  “The flowers were my own apology for what I had done and for hurting you that day.”  Apari blushed a little at this point.  “And for not being able to keep my promise of bringing them to you each day.”

She watched him for a moment, surprised that he seemed so uncomfortable in her presence when she was so use to it being the other way around.  But as he remained at a comfortable distance like he was, she had little reason to fear while he seemed so ready to flee the square.  “You are back now?  To stay, not just to visit?”  she asked, curious as well as wanting to show him that she held nothing against him for pain she had initially caused.  She’d beaten herself up over it for days.  She’d never hurt a fly or bug – even the pests she removed from the garden she carried to the woods to release.  The fact that she had brought pain to another human being… It had made her sick to her stomach for days even if she’d only asked about his home.

Hearing Aparicus's words caused more than a little surprise in Sanderon. With one eyebrow raised in his confusion, he listened until she finished speaking. He had remembered her note that she had sent with the flowers, now that she mentioned it. She had been sorry. He really saw no reason for it. But with the words spoken from her and him, the air seemed much calmer between them. His discomfort slowly eased away as he watched her sitting there.

A quiet lift of one corner of his mouth his signature lop-sided smile arose upon his face. His eyes softened and he brightened slightly. It was an expression Aparicus had probably never seen in him before.

"Thank you." He replied. Looking back to I'shan, he then glanced to Ilveriath. His smile faded as everything he had recently experienced and learned came back to haunt him. His gaze turned to the weyrfolk hall and he wondered if Aparicus wanted him to leave now. Before he would go though, there was one more thing he suddenly had a desire to say.

"Perhaps you can show me where these flowers are sometime...if you want. ...I like them."

Aparicus didn’t miss the slight lift to the young man’s corner lip.  It gave him a lop sided smile that looked pleasant on his face and she decided that it suited him well.  It seemed that with her explination the air of tension seemed to ease even though he’d given a glance back at the blue rider I’shan and his dragon.  Apari followed the gaze and while a question was on her tongue, she bit it back.  It wasn’t her place to ask some of the questions that came to her mind.

Hearing his question about the flowers, she paused to consider it as she brought back the boquet to her mind that she had made over a month ago.  “I do believe the little white flowers are still in bloom, but the seasons are colder now.  Many won’t be opened.  We do have some pretty fall flowers nearby though, I could show you were to find them.  Beautiful oranges and reds.”  She offered helpfully, a little disappointed the exact flowers he liked wouldn’t be back till next turn.  Though, on the bright side once the rainy winter season was over, the air would start to warm for spring and all that rain would bring about a whole new world of color.  Spring time was by far Apari’s favorite season and she couldn’t wait for it to come.

Looking for a moment at the group she’d been listening quietly to, to the basket of seed pods in her lap and the little jar she’d been filling, she picked up the jar’s lid and placed it on carefully before setting it into the basket.  “If you have time, I’ll walk with you now.  This can be done later and my legs could use a little movement to warm up.  It’s starting to get chilly.”  She said with a smile as she stood, and looped the basket through one arm before using her free hand to dust off the back of her long skirt.  She needed to put this one away soon and find her heavier skirts to wear for the raining season.

Accepting the fact that the flowers he had enjoyed were not all in bloom now had him nod slightly with acceptance. Learning that there were others of different colors peaked his interest. When Aparicus stood and offered to walk with him now and show him the flowers, the hint of his smile returned and he nodded. "I would like that." He answered quietly.

Looking behind him again to I'shan, his designated guardian, he asked the rider, "I would take a walk with Aparicus if that is allowed?"

Receiving a favorably answer from the rider pair, he nodded his thanks to them and turned back to the young woman he had nicknamed in his mind 'the Flower Lady'.
Having heard her previous question about whether he was here to stay or just visiting, he sighed a little and finally answered, "I am here to stay." And the truth of those words was hard to swallow as they meant more than she might realize. He knew he might never go home again. He was here to stay. Taking a step closer to her, he held his hand out, "May I carry your basket for you?"

Aparicus had been a little surprised that the young man felt the need to ask the dragonrider if he could walk with her.  Leaning a little to the side, she looked around Sanderon to peek at the blue rider and dragon with a curious, puzzled look on her face.  Seeing the nod, she stood straight again and took a step closer to him as he answered her previous question.  Hearing that he was here to stay had actually brought a smile to her face as she glanced back at the blue rider again.

“I’m glad.  That means I can bring you flowers now and then.”  She said simply as she watched the blue dragon watch them back.  “Why do you ask permission to walk from the dragonrider?”  She asked before dragging her eyes back to Sanderon once more to look for the answer that was currently out of her grasp.  When she’d been looking away, however, she hadn’t seen his hand move and to find it suddenly within easy reach of her own arm, she jumped and stepped back with a soft squeek of surprise.

“I-I… n-no thank y-you.  I can manage.”  She said, this time keeping that extra step between them as she motioned almost nervously to a path that lead between the WeyrHall and another building.  “I-it’s not heavy at a-all.”  She said, as if to explain why she preferred to carry it rather than risk attempting to hand it over.  There were no nearby surfaces to set it down on to let him pick up himself. 

Wrapping her arms around her mid section as the basket hung from one arm, she tried to reassure herself that the close call of bumping into him was a simple mistake.  He hadn’t tried to touch her, he’d tried to help.  She just needed to remember that.  Taking a slow breath as quietly as she could, she walked with him around the WeyrHall to the kitchens and then behind there to start the walk at her Spice Garden.

For Aparicus to offer to bring more flowers to him on occasion made the corner of his mouth twitch up in another half-smile.

"I'd like that." He replied quietly uncertain where to go from here. He noticed her chill and wondered if he should perhaps offer to get her a coat or something but the timing was gone when she asked him why I'shan and Ilveriath kept watching and why he had asked permission to walk with her.

He did not answer right away. Instead he had asked her if he could help carry her basket. Her obvious fear of him when she noticed the nearness of his hand, disturbed Sanderon more than he thought it should. Dropping his hand slowly, careful not to make any sudden movements, he closed his eyes with a troubled sigh.

When he opened his eyes again, he began to walk by her side as she led the way on their walk. Ilveriath, he knew would follow at a discrete distance. He was not a chaperone, but a guardian. Sanderon's watchful guardians would not be able to leave him be for a while, now that he was free from the island. How to tell this sweet Flower Lady though, who obviously feared him. He would tell the truth.

As he walked a few steps to the side of Aparicus, he looked around at the flowers he saw and admired their color, pedal shape and plant type. They were so different and yet when brought together were so very beautiful. Like the weyr. Sanderon suddenly thought. Except this one was withering. In order to regain its vibrance they would all have to come together, stick themselves firmly in the foundation of water and trust that each one had a part to play.

Sanderon stopped walking with that strange revelation. He was currently on his way to see Aparicus's Spice Garden. So far their walk had been pretty silent. Bringing his thoughts back to her question he thought deeply for a moment and then answered truthfully.

"I scattered the flowers of this weyr by my actions. I was sent away. Now that I am back, I will be watched for a while to make sure that I don't harm again. ...I know you are scared of me. I don't blame you. I never wanted to hurt anyone. Guess I kept too much inside and it blew up on me. ...I'm sorry." He added, hoping she would understand.

Apari listened to his truthful answer and considered it as he wove it into pretty words rather than being straight forward.  Even so, she decided she liked it a bit better that way.  It wasn’t so sharp at the edges.  She’d heard about his whipping, though she’d not witnessed it.  And then she’d heard how he’d been sent away for a time.  She never asked for details – she didn’t want any.  Details would give her reason to judge and Apari didn’t wish to be the judge or the jury.  She’d rather see the beautiful side of people and pretend the darker sides didn’t exist.

Taking in a slow breath, she blew a strand of long brown hair out of her face before tucking it behind her ear as she paused at the spice garden for him to see which plants were in bloom there.  “Sanderon…”  she said, starting slowly as she considered her own words.  “You shouldn’t keep so much bottled up inside if it blows up.  People get hurt that way.  You have a beautiful heart, I see it each time you pause to admire the beauty of the flowers.  Don’t let anger get the better of you.  Anger makes even the most beautifully hearted people ugly.”

Pausing, she turned to look at him even as she waved to the garden resting peacefully behind the kitchens.  “Any time you need to get away from what makes you angry, feel free to come here.  The plants have a way of reminding me of what’s good in the world.  That not everything is like ho—“ Cutting herself short, she caught herself before turning back to the garden, leaning on the little stone fence.  “Not everything is dark and angry.  Especially here at Katila, there are good people with kind hearts.”