[G] [C] [EVENT] 741.12.06 | Ghost Stories, Talismans & Other Fine Things

Mama said that sometimes hiding away was a good thing that it was time to make yourself stronger and she knew a lot, so Zarel sat and nodded at the other creche kids who were talking about him. Not only were they talking a few of them were making fun of him for getting stamped on and not getting Impressed. It was so rude. There was a guy named Quivalis who hid away, right? That was the guy's name who almost died on the Sands.

Exercising the better part of caution in not slapping the bullies in their ugly ovine faces for being so horrible, she stood up, marched off to the dining hall, got some klah - fresh - and tracked down the man.

Because having a visitor could be helpful too. She told herself she'd be quieter and best behaved as she knocked on the right door this time. The last two times were wrong and she felt pretty silly about that.

But this time she called out, "Quinvalis? I thought you might want some klah. I'm Zarel from Benden and Mama is visiting so I decided to come too. There were some kids funning on you in creche and I--" She huffed.

"I was wondering if it would be okay if I talked to you."

Rhaedalyn had decided all of her girls would do well socializing in the creche that day so Quinvalis found himself with a day off. He thought about finding Aederyn to see what she was up to in her free time but after a quick visit with Malvayth, he learned she spent time with Cazan learning some leather work. That sounded kind of cool but he didn't want to invite himself along but thought about maybe asking after it another time. He promised Malvayth he would be back for their afternoon oiling and went back to his little room he shared with three other Candidates.

They were all out doing their own chores so it was the perfect morning to relax and maybe read. Or so he thought when a knock came a half hour later. He had no idea who it was even with the name given or what she was talking about.

He almost ignored it, pretending he wasn't in but sighed and went to the door after a moment. Zarel seemed intent on talking to him so he could give her a few minutes of his time. He opened the door and frowned when he saw a child. It made sense given the voice, referencing her mama, and something about the creche but Quinvalis still hadn't expected someone so young.

"I'm Quinvalis. Can I help you?"

"Yes, I think." She lifted the carafe of klah with a bright smile. "Please have some klah with me and would it be okay if I talked with you about Candidacy and-- And I want to know about why people would be funning on you. I thought it was really mean of them. I have two mugs!"

She held up the two mugs solemnly, her dark eyes wide.

"I'm Zarel from Benden Weyr and I really want to Stand. But I want to be very sure, you see. So, I wanted to talk to you and hear what you think. I haven't enough turns yet, of course, but I will someday."

He stood there dumbfounded as he tried to take in everything she said. He was pretty sure she didn’t need to breathe and he could feel the headache coming on. The best thing to do was to turn her away and lie down but Quinvalis sighed and waved her inside. The room was small with four beds and four chests. Not much else was needed, really. He sat down on his bed and waited for Zarel to join him, pondering on some of what she said.

“Standing is scary but you’re not locked into it once you start. If you don’t want to after some point, then you don’t have to.” Wasn’t she the weyrbrat? Shouldn’t she know these sorts of things? How was anything he said going to help her decide when it was a personal choice about whether or not you wanted to bond with a dragon?

“And I have no idea why a bunch of kids would make fun of someone behind their back. They’re kids, Zarel, it’s what they do. Doesn’t matter if there’s a real reason or something they made up.” Quinvalis was certain there was a long list of things kids could come up with for anyone but he knew he wasn’t immune to it. Even playing baby-sitter for the leadership earned him some gossip.

"They were saying that if dragons don't like you they might actually kill you," she said with a frown. "And I know that can't be right because dragons a good and when they are little, sometimes they don't know their own strength. Mama says so and she's a Candidate."

She found a pot to sit on a chest and set the carafe down.

"But I've never been there, I mean, to see a Hatching. Mama says you musn't be afraid of things that might or might not happen. But you've been on the Sands and the kids said you got hurt by the dragonets and it was a lot."

Zarel poured him a cup of klah and placed into his hands very carefully before pouring her own just as carefully. Her dark eyes found his again.

"They almost made you a ghost. I'm glad you're better now. That had to be awful, a million times more awful than anyone but you would know, though. Did it change your mind about being a Candidate? Will you Stand again?"

Why couldn't he baby-sitting today? He supposed he was as he watched the girl pour klah. But at least he was used to the questions Alyren and Varlea peppered him with. He hadn't been expecting a stranger to stroll up to him and ask about his mauling and imply he should be dead. He didn't need kids pointing that out--he thought about it regularly.

It was becoming pretty obvious that he wasn't meant for a dragon and that Standing would just lead to more injuries. He knew he was useless and now he knew that dragons didn't want him either. It was a lot to live with and sometimes he felt dead inside when he thought about how disappointed his mom and R'nya would be when he aged out or just gave up Standing.

"Maybe I did die that day and I am a ghost," Quinvalis replied, figuring it was a part truth. A part of him did die that day even if his body betrayed him and survived. He took a sip of the klah that had just been serving as a hand warmer until that moment.

Would he Stand again? "I'm still recovering. I'll decide when I'm healed."

"No, silly. You're not a ghost or I couldn't have given you klah," she said pointedly. "But things a different now. Mama always said that if you have the heart for something you'll keep running for the happiness that makes your heart sing. So, in the end, you gotta do what is best for your heart and your spirit."

She sat cross-legged on a box with socked feet, her shoes having been left outside the door, and drank her klah for a moment of two.

"My mama's been standing for clutches since before I was born and that's a really, really long time. So, just because you got hurt really bad, it doesn't mean anything beyond you being in the wrong place. Mama said that she heard that sometimes dragons Impress and then die because they were hurt or the person they Impressed died on the Sands. And I think maybe they become ghost dragons then because they never really got to live."

She regarded him for a while.

"Don't become a living ghost person, Quinvalis. Okay? I hope you Stand and I hope you do Impress the best dragon ever. If you want to."

"Uh-huh," Quinvalis was very much done with this conversation and the kid. What was she, like eight? She had moments of being wiser than that but that was where he was pegging her, which made him almost grin at how that was apparently a really long time for her mom to Stand. He should have started a counter for how often she referred to her mom. He regarded his own mother with love and respect and often wondered what she would do or say in some crazy situation but he didn't think he ever gave them voice, especially to people who didn't ask for it.

While he found it amusing that she wouldn't let him call himself a ghost, she believed in that nonsense of ghost dragons and then told him not to become a living ghost like he implied he already was--he wasn't going to get into that. He didn't want to tell a kid things she believed in weren't real and didn't want to continue such a conversation about himself with a stranger.

"Thanks for the klah and pep talk, Zarel. Shouldn't you head back before your mama worries about where you got to?"

"I suppose I should! Was the klah okay? I made it myself," she said. And then she dug into her little pack and brought out a very small glowing pendant and handed it to him.

"For luck, no matter what you choose," Zarel grinned broadly. "If you hold it up, it casts colours of light. You might need it some day."

With that done, she left him to drink his klah. She had seen nothing wrong with the man, so now, she was going to go tell those stupid kids to stop being infants over something they didn't know about. It doesn't matter what happened on the Sands as long as it was survivable and you didn't make it become your life.

But growing up is hard and knowing how to do that when it makes its mark on you? Yeah, that's hard, too. She hoped he would make the right choice for himself and for his life.

Maybe he'd Stand and Impress. Maybe he wouldn't. She just hoped he'd be happy, that's all anyone deserves in life.