Reality's Touch [V’ler]

The young woman, always prone to sickness and illness, had been suffering a stomach bug the past two days. She had not joined the majority of the Weyr in their celebrations of the newly Impressed, and had hardly been conscious during most of the Hatching. Instead, she had made a lonely trek back to V’ler’s hut after a heated debate about whether or not she would stay in the Healer Hall. In her hand, she had carried a packet of medicines to take; Indivara knew most of them would knock her out, but with the way her stomach was still tumbling around and the weight she had – once more – lost from being ill, the girl did not care. Sleeping for a week sounded magnificent.

V’ler had not been home when she got in, but she was not all that surprised, and knew he wouldn’t be surprised to see her there when – or perhaps if – he came home that night after the celebrations. Indivara had been sleeping in his bed long enough that she was pretty sure he wouldn’t bring anyone back with him, and would instead go to their house if he was that intent on getting laid. It did not really matter at any rate; the young woman changed into her pyjamas – a shirt she had stolen off Ryvian months ago, and a nice, comfortable pair of cotton pants – and chugged down her medicine before tumbling into bed. V’ler would have sprawling limbs to fight against before he got to climb in, and a medically zonked Indivara that would not be in any ability to assist him.

Her medicated sleep was two-fold, however, and Indivara slept through the entire landslide, with minimal twitching; the fear from Veeth, the rushing around of V’ler, the echoing keens of the dragons that were left while their fellows were lost between, all went without waking the girl. Regardless, the thunder of the landslide, and the constant sound of dragons keening had woven into Indivara’s drugged sleep. She slept fitfully and with much tossing and turning in the empty bed, cold sweat matting her hair while her firelizards fretted just out of reach. Occasionally, they flickered between to annoy Ryvian or V’ler, before returning once more to check on Indivara. Their eyes were hollow and filled with the horror of the events when Indivara finally clawed her way to wakefulness.

The sudden sound of keening across the Weyr startled Indivara deeply, and she almost fell off the bed. Gripping it unsteadily, the girl toppled out. Her bladder made sure to remind her how unhappy it was, but the girl ignored it as she pulled one of V’ler’s heavier jackets on over her head to keep warm – she felt so cold! – before slipping her feet into her own shoes and out the door. Turning in the direction of the main Weyr, Indivara took several steps before pausing dramatically. Blue eyes widened, and her already pale face turned a sickly shade.

What had happened? Gaze casting about, Indivara searched for a face she recognised, before the form of a familiar blue dragon was seen. Glancing around nervously, Indivara jogged across the slick grounds, reaching Veeth not long after the young blue landed. Barely waiting for V’ler to dismount, Indivara slipped up by him, one hand reaching out lightly to touch him on the lower back. “Val..?” Indivara’s voice was low, and contained all the questioning lilt that was not given words of their own. What had happened? When had it happened? Why had it happened? Her mind had not quite gotten to the point of realising deaths had occurred, though one look at Veeth should have told her as much.

V’ler stiffened at the light touch and then his name coming from a confused voice. A sigh and a frown accompanied his turning around to face Indivara. “I didn’t want to wake you,” he offered as one explanation as his gaze went from girl to the buildings around them. He hadn’t felt like much use during the immediate search and rescue given both Veeth and he were tiny and not the strongest around. They ended up assisting in relocating people to the makeshift Healer Hall once they confirmed their friends had survived. They were both exhausted now and in need of some rest but V’ler wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to close his eyes again without scenes of the day playing in his mind.

Indivara, love, you shouldn’t be out in the chilly air, Veeth scolded Indivara but with his sweet voice, it never sounded like more than a pout and he gave the girl a light nudge to her shoulder. He was worried about her being sick but also about her seeing what had happened. Indivara was a tough girl but she had been through so much and he wanted to protect her from seeing even more. He didn’t want to see it, so why would anyone else want to?

While Quill had been perched on V’ler’s shoulder and looking rather ready for his own nap, Vex came from the hut. They had been taking shifts on watching over their house guests and assisting V’ler where they could. V’ler held out an arm and Vex landed on it long enough to get some affection from the bluerider before taking off to sit on Veeth’s back. They had both been well-behaved during everything and V’ler was glad to have the combined support of them and Veeth. The day took a lot out of him.

“Veeth’s right. We should go inside. It’s not…” V’ler wasn’t the type to assume Indivara was a delicate flower; they had had some good physical fights shortly after he arrived at Katila and she could hold her own in their verbal spars but he didn’t want the girl to see her home in such a state while she was already unwell. It would hit her harder than it needed to be but he also knew it wasn’t smart to hold anything back from the spitfire he currently housed. “It seems part of the mountain fell away and it took out a large portion of the Weyr. I left you in bed because it was probably one of the safest places in all of Katila.” A small humourless laugh escaped as he realized what he had said. Indivara had originally stated she was staying with him because of lyrics he wrote saying his bed was safe. Apparently, it really was.

Indivara’s confused gaze switched from V’ler to Veeth and back again as one offered an explanation for why she’d been left asleep, and the other tried to get her to go back inside. It was V’ler’s words that caused a frown to form, pulling the girl’s eyebrows together as she peered up at him. How long had she been left asleep? What day was it? When had whatever had happened, happened? Why was V’ler such a mess?

Indivara’s hand lifted to brush a streak of dried mud from the bluerider’s cheek, the confusion-tinged frown never leaving her face. She froze, when he finally spoke of what had happened, fingers never quite making the connection with his face. Startled, deep blue eyes sought out green, though, and held the gaze when V’ler let loose a humourless laugh. Indivara’s fingers curled up, and she unconsciously lowered her hand, and then let it fall to her side. “What?”

A cold shiver wound down Indivara’s spine, her voice husky with confusion. The mountain had fallen away? But… the mountain had been there since before Katila was founded. It was what protected them! Why would it suddenly fall upon them? It did not make any sense! Fear flickered to life in Indivara’s eyes, and the girl stepped away from the bluerider, around him and took several steps towards where most of the damage appeared to have been localised. She stared, wordlessly and uncomprehending at the mud, the exhausted people, the lack of huts.

Turning around, Indivara took a couple of hurried steps before colliding with V’ler. Had he moved, or had she not realised she was still so close to him? She set one hand against his chest, to separate them, but her fingers were curled into the fabric of his shirt, so he also could not further separate them without literally pulling away from her. “Mum lives on that side of the Weyr.” Sickness curled through her stomach. She may never have been on the best terms with her mother since her father had died, but she would never wish the greenrider to be eaten by an angry mountain – and her baby brother, what of him?

Her fingers tightened into a fist, attempting to hide the fact that her fingers were suddenly shaking, but unaware that the trembling was flickering through her entire body. “P-Par’a? Kerrin? Ry and Nivian? Jada?” Were they okay? Were they alive? What if she had slept through their deaths? What if they were all dead; what would she do if they’d all died? Suddenly feeling sick, Indivara shoved away from V’ler and stumbled a few steps away, but the gagging brought up nothing, for she had not eaten in well over a day. It made her stomach hurt, though that pain was better than the numb terror of not knowing, or the fierce teeth of ‘what if’ that was haunting her. Indivara wiped the sleeve of the shirt over her mouth, forgetting it was V’ler’s (though she wouldn’t have cared, anyway) and turned to stare up at the bluerider desperately.

Veeth creeled softly as he curled up beside the pair. V’ler was still having a hard time adjusting to everything he had seen and the lives that were lost but now Indivara was realizing the true scope of it all and the little blue didn’t know what to do. Why did it have to happen? Why were such nice people sad, hurt, or dead? He wanted to scope them both up and carry them away to somewhere happier and safer but even Veeth knew that currently wasn’t possible. There wasn’t a single place that would currently bring joy after so much devastation.

V’ler reached one hand out to rest on Veeth’s head even as the other went for Indivara’s waist. He still wasn’t all that adept at comforting someone and giving hugs but he had been learning the signs of when they were needed and right then, with Indivara gripping his shirt and the reality crashing down on her, he pulled her close instead of pushing away. “Jada’s fine and so is Kerrin and Par’a. I sought out my friends and saw Par’a earlier as I left the triage area.” Those were the easiest inquiries to answer. They would only get harder. “The twins were at the triage as well. I think Ryvian was okay. He was covered in dirt and blood like all of us and was rather frantic but I think that’s because his brother was hurt.” He hadn’t stayed around long enough to find out exactly how bad but it didn’t seem life-threatening, which he quickly explained to Indivara.

Indivara hadn’t specifically asked about her mother but with the implication that she lived in the worst hit area, V’ler knew what the girl was already thinking and she had every right to. “Vara… I was over there earlier… it’s not good. It’s already been deemed as cleared and no longer in need of rescue searchers,” V’ler only ever regretted something he said possibly twice in his life and while he flinched at his awkward wording, it wasn’t necessarily regretted. Indivara had to know the truth of how bad it was out there. They were standing on the edge and what they could see was bad but what was beyond their immediate vision was so much worse. “I asked around for confirmation an hour ago. Veeth was distressed and there was so much death… I can still feel the pain and loss from the bond. Her green, at least, has died. Your mom and brother haven’t been found.”

For a brief moment, V’ler loosened his grip on Indivara but then tightened it instead. He had no idea how she would react but he imagined running to the destroyed area would be a top priority and he couldn’t let her go. For one thing, she wasn’t dressed for it, especially with how sick she had been, and it wasn’t safe. Everything was still settling and the muck had a chance of swallowing Indivara as well. Her other reaction was likely to hit him for possibly lying or simply because he could act as a punching bag for her anger and grief. For the time being, she wasn’t getting anything more than arms around her, holding her tight for a silent hug, though. He had no words for such a thing. How could he comfort a woman that had lost her family?

Veeth creeled again and buried his head in the crook of his foreleg.

If Indivara were anyone else, any other girl, she likely would have collapsed into tears as the entirety of the situation crashed around her like the first wave of a summer storm. Instead, she stood numb and frozen in the circle of V’ler’s arms. Despite the way he loosened his grip, Indivara did not move, she just stared without seeing at his chest, usually bright and emotional blue eyes as dull and expressionless as the contours of her scarred face. They were gone…

She did not know what to feel, she did not know how to feel. She did not know how to process the thoughts; what had been the last thing she had said to her mother? Had they argued, or had they last seen one another on good terms? Indivara could not remember, and that ate away at her more than if she’d known one way or the other. At least then, she would have had a clear scenario, something to cling to; instead, all she had given herself was uncertainty. Had her mother died angry at her? Sad? Indivara was sure the woman had been disappointed, for she had been nothing but a disappointment for as long as she could remember.

Indivara shuddered, drawing in a slow, deep breath and leaning into V’ler, she wrapped her arms around him and clung. “I’m glad they’re okay,” her voice was soft, barely more than a whisper as she clung as tightly to the small rays of hope that had been given as she was clinging to the bluerider. Par’a was okay, and that was more of a relief to Indivara than anything else; the reassurance of Kerrin, Jada and the twins being okay was further warmth in the terror that had cooled her, and the awful weight of her mother and brother’s deaths. Better to ignore them, until later, until she was alone and could express herself in her own way, without anyone watching or judging. Or worrying.

Queenie, creeling a soft echo of Veeth, landed on the blue dragon’s foreleg and nuzzled what she could see of his cheek, while Saph fluttered around anxiously, watching and waiting for a chance to curl around Indivara’s neck without getting in the way of anyone. His chance came a moment later, as Indivara took a deep breath, face pressed to V’ler’s chest, and puffed it out as she leaned backwards and carefully detangled herself from his arms. Saph pounced on the opening; quickly alighting on Indivara’s left shoulder and snaking under her hair to coil around the girl’s neck like a dark blue necklace, and peer balefully up at V’ler, as if it were all the harper’s fault the girl were upset. Indivara petted the firelizard gently, turning her gaze to Veeth.

“I want to help.” She was small, and sickly, but surely there was something she could do more than mope around now that she was awake, or be hidden away like some delicate goldrider! So long as no one tried to put her in the kitchen! Indivara glanced up at V’ler, then back to Veeth – she spoke to the blue dragon. “I’m going to dress. Don’t let him go anywhere until I get back.” Her tone was firm and bossy, the usual, and she gave Veeth a gentle pat on the nose before dashing once more toward one of the few huts that had been left standing. Indivara knew she wouldn’t be much help, and she could feel the coils of emotion in her stomach that were fighting to come back to the surface after learning about her family, and it only made her more determined to help. Anything, anything had to be better than confronting the harshness of that reality.